WellBeing

The compassion cure

f0076-01

“Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.” ~ Louise L Hay

One of the toughest aspects of parenting in the modern age is the smorgasbord of conflicting parenting advice on offer. As a mother of two young children, I have found reading parenting books has often led me down a path of guilt and shame because, just as I think I’ve made progress, another challenge comes along and, with it, a barrage of “tips” that are conflicting, confusing and, at worst, damaging.

Feeling guilty about parenting failures does not result in change but, rather, a feeling of defeat and futility. The medicine for these feelings is self-compassion — nurturing yourself, establishing healthy boundaries and modelling self-care for your children. Every time I cultivate compassion for myself I am blessed with a fresh perspective on how to solve behavioural challenges with my children.

Self-compassion is about observing and controlling fearful or negative thoughts as they arise in relation to your children. I often notice a futile voice that says things like, “I can’t stand this any more” or “Why can’t you get this under control?” When these voices start shouting, it’s time to replace them with, “I know you are doing your best right now”

You're reading a preview, sign up to read more.

More from WellBeing

WellBeing6 min read
Cleaned By Nature
Supporting a global industry worth tens of billions of dollars, our quest for sparklingly clean, sweet-smelling homes has spawned a vast array of products. But dig beneath the familiar, friendly packaging and marketing claims so many of us inherently
WellBeing1 min read
Nature
In the well-known book The Alchemist, novelist Paulo Coelho writes, “I have seen many storms in my life. Most storms have caught me by surprise, so I had to learn very quickly to look further and understand that I am not capable of controlling the we
WellBeing5 min read
MAY & JUNE 2019
May 5’s Taurus New Moon begins a fertile lunar new year, a chance to gather rewards for past work. May 6–9 needs care with commitments: schemes that are too good to be true will be! May 15–19 is a time to stay aware, while enjoying the flowing energy