Contentment: A Way to True Happiness
By Robert A. Johnson and Jerry M. Ruhl
4/5
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About this ebook
Simple Gifts of Contentment
The forces of modern life urge us to achieve and acquire more, pushing us outward in our quest for contentment. World–renowned Jungian analyst Robert A. Johnson and psychotherapist Jerry M. Ruhl guide us inward, to a deep understanding of true, lasting happiness.
Instead of relegating joy and satisfaction to another time, a different place, a better circumstance ("just as soon as I finish this project / land that perfect job / find a new relationship"), Johnson and Ruhl encourage us to negotiate and embrace "what is." Instructive and wise, this gentle guide contains all the tools we need––including illustrative stories, myths, poems, and practical exercises––to seize true contentment in the here and now.
Robert A. Johnson
Robert A. Johnson, a noted lecturer and Jungian analyst, is also the author of He, She, We, Inner Work, Ecstasy, Transformation, and Owning Your Own Shadow.
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Reviews for Contentment
17 ratings3 reviews
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5An excelent guide for inner life. Deep and valuable. Intangible gifts. Thank you
- Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5This was a quick read but lacked depth and included a lot of generalizations about the culture that felt shallow and overstated.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I've had this book on the shelf for a while and turned to it hoping for an antidote to the February doldrums. It's quite a short volume, easy to finish in the space of an hour or two, but provides good food for thought.Johnson is a Jungian analyst and so uses story as a jumping-off point for his discussion of contentment - in this case, the story of King Lear, a tale of 'distorted expectations and painful illusions.' Examining just some of the interactions between the characters in the play, Johnson and Ruhl describe how psychological projection, artificial inflation of the ego, and obsessive attempts to control life lead to discontentment. The final section of the book reviews the 'gifts of contentment.' There are some simple exercises here to help the reader listen to the inner voice of the heart, but the description of the gifts is mostly comprised of folk tales and anecdotes that convey the wisdom of contentment. Readers of strongly anti-religious bias may object to Johnson and Ruhl's reference to the inner 'divine voice' and discussion of the importance of connecting to a larger whole: The original meaning of the word 'religion' is to rerelate or reconnect - to put back together again, heal the wounds of separation, and to make whole. Contentment grows, not out of pursuing self-interest, but from our capacity to connect to a larger whole - family, social groups, nature, and, ultimately, God. Some people have trouble with the word 'God,' but all that is really required here is a willingness to acknowledge a power greater than yourself.Can atheists make use of applied Jungian psychology? Perhaps only strict materialists would find the above passage difficult to relate to - or perhaps not, as the fabric of society and culture provide many 'wholes' for the self to identify with. Although a short book, this is one that rewards careful reading and can provide food for thought for many months, if not a lifetime.
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Book preview
Contentment - Robert A. Johnson
Contentment
A Way to True Happiness
Robert A. Johnson and Jerry M. Ruhl
Contents
Preface
Part 1 The Tragedy of Modern Discontent
Chapter I
Just As Soon As…
Chapter 2
In Search of Contentment
Chapter 3
The Fall from Eden
Part 2 A Story for Our Time
Chapter 4
King Lear
Part 3 The Psychology of Contentment
Chapter 5
Contentment Can’t Be Found Out There
It’s Inside You
Chapter 6
Contentment Requires Being Who You Are— No More and No Less
Chapter 7
Contentment Isn’t Just Getting What You Want— It’s Also Wanting What You Get
Chapter 8
When the Well of Suffering Goes Dry
Part 4 Simple Gifts of Contentment
The Gift of Energy
The Gift of Fidelity to the Moment
The Gift of Stopping
The Gift of Your Heart’s Yearning
The Gift of Nature
The Gift of Home
The Gift of Dreams
The Gift of Hidden Purpose
The Gift of Letting Go
The Gift of Confusion
The Gift of Paradox
The Gift of Ordinariness
The Gift of Myth
The Gift of Talent
The Gift of Pilgrimage
The Gift of Spontaneity
The Gift of Forgiveness
The Gift of Reparation
The Gift of Compassion
The Gift of Detachment
About the Authors
Other Books by Robert A. Johnson
Copyright
About the Publisher
PREFACE
This book has been incubating for several years. It began with a lecture by my friend and colleague, Robert A. Johnson, who applied the powerful and profound story of King Lear to examine some ways that modern people sabotage their own contentment. We tend to look for something or someone on the outside to make us feel satisfied and complete, but contentment isn’t found out there. It is an inner experience. The word itself, contentment, carries the implication of content—to be at home with what you already contain. Realizing this can save you a lot of misdirected energy and put you on a more fruitful path.
During the past year Robert and I worked together, drawing upon depth psychology and many spiritual traditions as well as the genius of Shakespeare, to develop a more complete understanding of contentment. You don’t need to be a sage sitting on a mountaintop to be content, but these days it does require some uncommon thinking.
As modern people, we like to believe that contentment comes from getting what we want. It does not. Contentment grows out of our capacity to mediate our desires with what is.
A basic spiritual principle is learning to accept what is
instead of insisting that life be a certain way. Life is rarely the way we want it to be; it’s just the way it is. This doesn’t mean that you should give up or become passive. The art of realizing contentment is an active and dynamic process. You might imagine it as a dance between your wishes and reality, what you want and what you get. This doesn’t have to be a struggle. Perhaps you’ve seen old movies featuring the great dance team of Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. Fred and Ginger developed a wonderful shared rhythm, two entities so responsive to each other that there was no longer a sense that one was leading and the other following. As one stepped forward, the other stepped back. They moved as one. This is how each of us can learn to dance with what is given. Sometimes you take the lead and assert your will, and fate moves with you. In the very next step you may need to follow rather than lead. Clearly, to move with such agility and grace takes a lot of practice, but our practice studio is daily life.
We live in a transitional, complicated age, perhaps the adolescence of humankind, so contentment requires effort on our part. The goal of this book is to provide readers with both practical strategies for the mind and rich nourishment for the soul.
I would like to thank Robert for his faith in this project and the guidance he has provided throughout its development. I also owe a debt of gratitude to the faculty at Pacifica Graduate Institute, in particular Dr. Charles Asher, Dr.
Robert Romanyshyn, Dr. Dianne Skafte, and Dr. Mary Watkins, who shared many rich ideas in lectures and conversations. Finally, I wish to thank my wife, Jordis, and son, Oliver, for providing the most meaningful content in my life.
Jerry M. Ruhl, Ph.D.
September 25, 1998
Denver, Colorado
PART 1
THE TRAGEDY OF MODERN DISCONTENT
CHAPTER 1
JUST AS SOON AS …
Who does not want contentment? Yet in our modern lives there is an epidemic of discontent. It is the tragedy of our times that no matter what we achieve, how much money we earn, or how many blessings come our way, more is never enough. For every desire you fill, another one always follows just on its heels. You may own a house in Aspen and make more money than God or Bill Gates, but still the feeling of fullness keeps slipping away. That’s because contentment is not the result of what you have or even what you do in life. Contentment isn’t out there. Well, maybe there are small tastes of it out there, but those tastes stop satisfying after a short time and then you hunger for more. And try as you might, no amount of possessions, power, or prestige satisfies for long.
Consider a time when you were really content. Nearly everyone can think of moments when their inner yearning was filled. Maybe you were watching your child eat his first birthday cake or take her first steps. What a satisfying, fulfilling experience! Perhaps you were out fishing on a tranquil mountain lake or walking peacefully in the woods, far away from the deadlines and pressures of work and the insistent nagging of chores around the house. Contentment can also occur in work—those times when you seem to fall into rhythm with your tasks. Instead of glancing up at the clock every few minutes, you engage fully with what you are doing, and time slips by. Attainment of a goal may bring contentment for a while.
But such moments fade all too quickly. Often you don’t know that you have walked across a corner of heaven until days or weeks later, when you become nostalgic for what is missing. Then you try to reproduce the conditions that led to your contentment. You bake another cake or return to the woods. But it’s never quite the same.
Contentment is hard to maintain. These days, how does one realize inner stillness, satisfaction, and peace of mind?
Our society teaches us that the only reality is the one we can hold onto. It values outer experiences and material possessions. Accordingly, we look for contentment out there
and live with a just as soon as
mentality. Just as soon as I get my work done, I can relax.
Just as soon as I get married, I will be content
or, conversely, Just as soon as my divorce comes through, I will be content.
Just as soon as I earn enough money I can spend time with my kids.
Just as soon as I get a nicer boss, a better job, a bigger house, a new car. …
And so our contentment slips through our fingers like quicksilver—another time, a different place, a better circumstance.
Just As Soon As
should be printed on dollar bills, replacing In God We Trust
as the great American slogan. What a painful way to live!
Powerful Purveyors of Discontent
Madison Avenue understands our hunger for contentment and uses it as the basis for modern advertising. Soup, automobiles, life insurance—any and all things are sold with a promise either of the satisfaction