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Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
Rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars
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About this ebook
In a crisis, it's easy to revert to old patterns. Caring for your well-being during the coronavirus pandemic includes maintaining healthy boundaries and saying no to unhealthy relationships.
The healing touchstone of millions, this modern classic by one of America's best-loved and most inspirational authors holds the key to understanding codependency and to unlocking its stultifying hold on your life.
Is someone else's problem your problem? If, like so many others, you've lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to someone else's, you may be codependent--and you may find yourself in this book--Codependent No More. The healing touchstone of millions, this modern classic by one of America's best-loved and most inspirational authors holds the key to understanding codependency and to unlocking its stultifying hold on your life.
With instructive life stories, personal reflections, exercises, and self-tests, Codependent No More is a simple, straightforward, readable map of the perplexing world of codependency--charting the path to freedom and a lifetime of healing, hope, and happiness.
Melody Beattie is the author of Beyond Codependency, The Language of Letting Go, Stop Being Mean to Yourself, The Codependent No More Workbook and Playing It by Heart.
The healing touchstone of millions, this modern classic by one of America's best-loved and most inspirational authors holds the key to understanding codependency and to unlocking its stultifying hold on your life.
Is someone else's problem your problem? If, like so many others, you've lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to someone else's, you may be codependent--and you may find yourself in this book--Codependent No More. The healing touchstone of millions, this modern classic by one of America's best-loved and most inspirational authors holds the key to understanding codependency and to unlocking its stultifying hold on your life.
With instructive life stories, personal reflections, exercises, and self-tests, Codependent No More is a simple, straightforward, readable map of the perplexing world of codependency--charting the path to freedom and a lifetime of healing, hope, and happiness.
Melody Beattie is the author of Beyond Codependency, The Language of Letting Go, Stop Being Mean to Yourself, The Codependent No More Workbook and Playing It by Heart.
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Author
Melody Beattie
Melody Beattie is the New York Times bestselling author of Codependent No More, Beyond Codependency, and The Lessons of Love.
Read more from Melody Beattie
The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5More Language of Letting Go: 366 New Daily Meditations Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The New Codependency: Help and Guidance for Today's Generation Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Finding Your Way Home: A Soul Survival Kit Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Make Miracles in Forty Days: Turning What You Have into What You Want Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Choices: Taking Control of Your Life and Making It Matter Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Stop Being Mean To Yourself: A Story About Finding the True Meaning of Self-Love Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Playing It by Heart: Taking Care of Yourself No Matter What Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Grief Club: The Secret to Getting Through All Kinds of Change Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/552 Weeks of Conscious Contact: Meditations for Connecting with God, Self, and Others Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Gratitude: Inspirations by Melody Beattie Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Stop Being Mean to Yourself: A Story About Finding The True Meaning of Self-Love Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
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Reviews for Codependent No More
Rating: 4.337078651685394 out of 5 stars
4.5/5
89 ratings18 reviews
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5very helpful, straight to the point, clearly describes disease,self diagnoises,help ful, inspirational, motivational,
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Very helpful, sound advice. Includes anecdotes from recovering codependents, to highlight that we are not alone in our struggles with relationship issues.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The message of this book is important. Anyone can become codependent and it is a good tool to be able to recognize the signs and symptoms in oneself and to move forward in healthy relationship dynamics. Beattie's rambling writing style is not my favorite. The body of the work could benefit from some headings and bullet points. I recommend (at least for skimming) if there are any hints of codependency in one's personal relationships, workplace dynamics, family, or friend groups.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I like this book and feel that it will be like a bible to me during my trying times. I feel it is a good reference and go to and was very helpful to my situation and the possiblity of handling future situations for me. I enjoy the storyies she includes and can relate to some, not all of them. However everyone goes through things in their life differently. The way she has written this book I think most anyone going through this would benefit from reading. This was recommended to me by my thereapist and I am truly glad she recommended it.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5This is one of those books that I need to re-read every so often. There is a great deal of information I can use...I just need to be willing to take the time and review it.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Excellent book and very inspiring one. To main idea for me is to learn to trust yourself.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5This book helped to clarify, inform and provide much needed knowledge!
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I found it very helpful. I used it as a workbook, making notes and using the activities parts to work through stuff of my own. It took me about a month, working it every morning. I found it fairly easy to read and it had lots of new insights for me. I could find much more acceptance for what created my codependency. I was able to discuss certain things with my partner which was very clarifying for me in understanding my patterns. Would recommend it to any adult child from a dysfunctional family!
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Although I am a codependent from someone with compulsive behavior instead of alcoholism, this book still speaks to me in ways I did not expect before. I felt so emotional reading some of the chapters and already feeling myself making a good progress towards healing, with the help of this book.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Wonderful. It helped me identify a huge problem in my life.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5How to untangle yourself from your own needs in a relationship and start being nice to yourself.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5This book was like a bible to me, it gave a name to what I was experiencing. It has been such a god send, as a male reading this book I’m blown away on how wrong on what I thought co dependency was. I will be reading every book by this saintly author.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I would totally recommend this book to anyone who is a child of an alcoholic or has a parent with drug addiction issues. If you believe that a book can literally change your life, this book is for you. I read this at my mother's request when I was a teenager, and have read it several times since. It was probably the sole reason I am where I'm at today. I read this book and it was like a light came on in my world. I could finally see that there were other people out there like me who had the same feelings of insecurity and doubt. It showed me a better way to live.
1 person found this helpful
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Beautiful book. It blows your mind from the truth you will find in it but it is very helpfull. I would recommend it to anyone who feels lost. You will find yourself! Just keep reading. Knowledge is the power from which peace comes ❤
1 person found this helpful
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5I like this book, which does not make it easy to read. It is written clearly, and is straightforward, yet it is at times difficult to maintain focus. The stories are paramount, though none will identify will them all. Read it. Find the pearls.A Very Personal Perspective: I finally launched (well, compared to the tentative perusal I previously managed) into Codependent No More today. The initial pages of conversations with codependents are as expected in that they are generally about partners of alcoholics. Not only do I not identify with this, but despite my intellectual understanding of the fact that it isn't about the alcoholism, I dread each story. When you see nothing in common with the stories, it is difficult to find motivation to continue. By page 32, I am most thoroughly disenchanted with the conversations, although the "brief history" of the concept and naming of codependence is mildly interesting, based on the minimal description. And then on page 36, the author inks a single sentence definition of codependency. And I begin to pay attention."A codependent person is one who has let another person's behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person's behavior."By page 37, I am interested when the author acknowledges that she is not an expert on codependence, and does not know for a fact if it is an illness. And as she offers to continue the "brief history", it is evident that she is passionate about what is and is not real with regard to this apparently self-destructive predisposition. As she goes on to describe codependence, I am struck by the thought that she is describing every compassionate human being that ever lived, every humanitarian that made a difference, and every individual who ever reached out a hand to a person in need. I am reminded of a quote that has personified me and haunted me for most of my adult life."your greatest strength can become your greatest weakness." And I am compelled to read on, for how can something so purely benevolent become something so utterly self-destructive? I know that I am looking for an answer, and yet it is unlikely that I will find one. For if I have learned anything in this world, it is that there are no silver bullets, no ultimate solutions to end human mistakes, discomfort and error, to end human suffering and stagnation, or to remove roadblocks to human progress. There are only conversations and possibilities. Ultimately, we must choose our conversations, opt to expand our thoughts, and fearlessly open up to the possibilities. And so I read on.
2 people found this helpful
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5A good, basic, all-around self-help book. This one is a great start for anyone with unhealthy patterns and long strings of horrible relationships.The original target audience for this book (and its concepts) were significant others of alcoholics. Yet many (including myself) have found the patterns of a codependent apply to anyone with unhealthy attachments to others.At the time I read this, I was just getting out of a bad marriage. I was terribly depressed to the point of being near-non-functional. This book gave me some basic building blocks for climbing that first step towards sanity. I learned I didn't have to be absorbed by someone else to be happy. I learned I needed to take care of myself first, then others.With a little imagination, the basic dynamics detailed in this book can also be seen in social dynamics of larger groups. The unhealthy clinging, manipulations, and drama that lead to petty infighting (in smaller groups) and political dysfunction (on a societal scale).
1 person found this helpful
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5This book will help you to stop your dependency on other people. It explains how to deal with frustrations and ruined hopes, how to stop blaming others for your own misery, and finally it teaches you how to be happy and appreciate your own freedom. The writer is talking about her own life experience going into emotional details that probably known to you. The book gives strength to be responsible for your own life. I have not read anything better on the dependency topic. It is a highly recommended book by substance abuse professionals.
1 person found this helpful
- Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5Since its inception in 1979, the word codependency has come to be a condition that effects more people than many may realize. The author attempts to define and demonstrate the characteristics of this condition, and how one may attempt to cope with it.