Disadvantages of Dowry System

Disadvantages of Dowry System Spreading of prostitution

Parents who blessed by girls, if they are below the poverty line, or middle class, they severely suffer due to dowry system dominated among Muslim community. Sexual feelings are common to both genders. Unless we respect the feelings of women, they will go astray. This causes to spread the prostitution in the community. To stop this astray, we have to give up the demanding dowry from the brides family.

Parents become beggars

To avoid falling in the hell of prostitution, the parents happen to lose self-respect. Even though they lose their self-respect, they are begging mosque to mosque, shop to shop. Does Islam allow to beg for dowry even losing their self-respect? Who is the root cause to this astray? What is the solution to stop it? We have to give up the dowry system which is root cause to be ashamed among the community.

Women become mentally affected

As the dowry system dominated our Islamic community, the women become mentally affected. So the mentally affected women are staying in asylums and Darghas like Ervadi, Nagoor ect. The spinsters are being affected mentally by looking the girls of same age group who enjoying the marriage-life. This is because they become mentally affected. So we have to give up demanding dowry as material and financial.

Suicide
Neither the poor people to marry their daughters nor they abstain them at home. Also their age is passing day by day. To avoid the calamity and sadness, they suicide themselves. We frequently read like this News. Oh Islamic youngsters! Do you want this to be continued?

The affected family

Even though seeing the parents poverty, the youngsters claim the dowry from brides family. So the Islamic spinsters are trying to love Non-Islamic youngsters. Particularly the school and college going girls are falling in love of Non-Islamic youngsters. At last, they decide to go out of house without parents knowledge. The parents of the girl who had run out of the house with Non-Muslim, are living in the state of shamefulness among the community. Apart from that, our

Islamic girls convert to other religion. So their life in hereafter become astray. Should it to be continued?

Islamic women in dance club

Our Islamic women are dancing in the star hotels, night clubs and other places to earn their livelihood and to enjoy their life as if they like. The root cause of this state, the dowry system dominated among the Islamic community. Nevertheless, the Islamic youngsters are claiming dowry instead of giving Mahar as per Islamic rule.

The youngsters in abroad

Why the Islamic youngsters are going for abroad? They did not leave for abroad to earn their livelihood for their own-self. But they are toiling there to earn for their daughters or sisters marriage. They are working hard in the foreign countries irrespectively day or night and rain or sunlight. And they are passing their days in the deserts and mist surrounded places. So each and every parent who have blessed by sons, must take an oath that we will never claim dowry for our sons and we will give Mahar to bride when we marry our sons.

Non-Muslims hesitating to embrace Islam

The Non-Muslims wish to embrace Islam on looking keenly the equality and brotherhood among Muslims. But, the dowry system dominated Islamic community is the only obstacle to them to embrace Islam. They say: we will embrace Islam after marrying our daughters. Because of, we can not give the dowry which is being claimed by your community. Oh youngsters! You are responsible to this obstacle and hindrance.

Working Islamic girls

Our Islamic girls are working hard in factories, shops, textiles and other offices. They get tortured in their working places. Bearing all kind of tortures, they are working there. Why they are working hard transgressing the Islamic rules? Because of, they should give dowry to whom they will get married.

Anti-Islamic
The Non-Islamic women have no right to claim their share in their ancestors property. So the youngsters were claiming property in the way of dowry when they get married. This habit had been spreading among the Non-Muslims community before the Indian act stipulated that the women have right to get share from their fathers and mothers property. The property rights of women are governed by the Hindu Succession Act 1956 only. But the Islam had proposed it

before 14 Centuries ago. Hence, why do the youngsters of our community claim dowry from brides family when they get married?

Affected womens Dua

Islamic girls have beauty, good character, good knowledge about Islam and other well qualified characters. Yet, they are crying thinking of their state of unmarried-life. Allahs Messenger Mohammed said: Fear the curse of the affected people. There is no curtain between Allah and the affected people. (Bukhari: 2448) so, oh youngsters! Fear the curse of the unmarried-spinsters.

Allahs command
Give them their dowry for the enjoyment you have of them as a duty. (4:24) Almighty Allah has commanded in the Holy Quran to bestow Mahar. But we are doing against Allahs command. Demanding the dowry as financial or house-hold things or any other type of demands is strictly prohibited in Islam. So, oh Islamic youngsters! And oh Islamic parents who blessed by sons! Kindly take an oath that we will never claim dowry from the brides family hence forth. Arguments for Traditional Dowry

Note : (extra material plz rephrase and arrange it; according your demand)
1. It is mostly an African custom (in many parts of the continent). The people expect it. Nevertheless, some parts of the western world still honor this practice. 2. It stabilizes the marriage and prevents the wife running away from her husband (though now quite efficient). 3. Payment of dowry demonstrates that the husband-to-be is capable of caring for and supporting a wife. 4. Payment of dowry makes the wife feel that she is worth 'something' and that her husband considers her valuable; therefore it builds her sense of self-respect. It can be considered a proof of love. 5. Christian missionaries have often supported and encouraged the dowry system as a safeguard to the stability of marriage. 6. The parents of the girl feel repaid for all their expense of caring for her and educating her.

7. Bride Price enables the girl's parents provide similar dowry for their sons to marry wives. Thus the bride price becomes a kind of revolving fund in the family. 8. Payment of the dowry satisfies a deep longing for justice and legality in the eyes of the families involved. 9. In our modern society with marriage breaking down, increased infidelity, premarital sex, adultery, and prostitution, the bride price tradition is seen as a factor that links modern African society to the strong moral standards of its pre-colonial past. 10. Perhaps most important of all, dowry is understood to be an evidence that the man is serious about his intentions to make the marriage stable. 11. The Bible tells us that dowry was an essential element of ancient marriage.
Arguments against traditional Dowry

1. It degrades the woman to the status of a commodity being sold and bought. 2. It makes marriage to become primarily an economic relationship in which the choice of a wife depends on one's ability to pay rather than on mutual respect and love between bridegroom and bride. In other words, only a rich suitor is ever able to marry a rich man's daughter; thus the system aggravates rather than heals class distinctions. A young man can demonstrate to the girl's parents his ability to care for her by his intelligence, diligence, and success in making the most of the opportunities he has had in life so far. Such character is true wealth. 3. As bride prices rise higher and higher, haggling and bargaining enter into negotiations. Thus, a hard spirit enters which is destructive to the love and respect that ought to characterize future relationships between the two families. 4. Since the wife's motivations to be faithful and helpful to her husband are affected by the fear of her parents' inability to return the dowry if she fails as a wife, it becomes more difficult for a love-relationship to develop that would make the marriage truly stable. Selfish economic factors do not build genuine love and fidelity. 5. In modern educated society, young people tend more and more to want to marry the one of their own personal choice based on love; the girl's parents can easily thwart this by demanding of a worthy young man a dowry impossibly high for him to manage to pay. Thus, they can force her to marry someone she cannot truly love. 6. The dowry system encouraged hard-hearted but wealthy husbands to treat their wives in any way they wish since they have successfully "paid' for them: the system

also encourages the wife to consider herself virtually a slave to such a husband. Her parents cannot encourage her to resist in justice because they fear having to pay back the price paid. Thus the dowry system contributes to the degradation of women. 7. African newspapers contain numerous articles and letters from educated people who declare the system to be a modern counterpart of ancient slavery. 8. With the dowry system, the young married couple must suffer serious privation in their home because so much of the husband's income must go to paying the wife's parents the unpaid portion of the dowry. Those who argue that this long over-hanging debt is good because it keeps the wife submissive are answered by the argument that this problem creates unnecessary tension in the new home. It becomes a continual cause for resentment and bitterness. 9. Opponents of the system point out that it actually encourages divorce, infidelity, and polygamy in that it substitutes for and thus replaces the proper Biblical basis for happy, stable marriage-love and the desire to honor God. The wife's self respect based on dowry paid is reduced to a materialistic basis. 10. The deep need for a foundation of legality and justice in marriage is better satisfied by the public vows of love and fidelity under God, witnessed and approved by family and friends. 11. Although dowry was a stabilizing factor in marriage in the past, the rapid increase of education and urbanization has made it only obsolete, but actually a hindrance to modern marital happiness and stability. it is even blamed as one of the causes of modern prostitution. Young people frustrated and defeated by excessive dowry demands tend to elope and live together without a proper marriage. This only perpetuates immorality.
What can be said for and against these perplexing arguments?

There is no man on Earth as wise as Solomon who can solve these difficulties to everyone's satisfaction. But there is a savior who knows all about our problems, and is "touched with the feeling of our infirmities" (Hebrews 4:15). He knows how to help us, and His word can give guidance. Modern government and Church leaders are very hesitant to interfere with the dowry system. The reason is, they fear that such a break with the traditions of the past might create a social revolution that could have disastrous results. Although many leaders recognize the evils evident in the modern dowry system, they fear that society in general is not ready for its abolition. The fact is that no system of marriage anywhere around the world will work in today's modern society without Christ! The Lord does

not violently uproot traditional customs that are good of themselves; but His spirit of love and common sense utilizes them for the well-being and happiness of all concerned. In other words, it is not the dowry system itself that is intrinsically evil, but the selfishness of human hearts that administer it wrongly. Does the Bible uphold the tradition of dowry? Let us see what it says: 1. We read of a heathen man who tried to bargain with Jacob for his daughter Dinah to marry his son Shechem: The soul of my son Schechem longeth for your daugther: I pray you give her to him to wife. Ask me never so much dowry and gift, and I will give according as ye shall say unto me: but give me the damsel [for my son] to wife (Genesis 34:8, 12). This sounds like Bible support for asking any amount of dowry, however high! But look closer; we find this is not true. Jacob did not ask for a high dowry; in fact, he did not want to give Dinah to this heathen husband at all, no matter how high the dowry offered. Jacob loved Dinah more than any amount of money and wanted only to secure her true happiness within the Lord's plan for His people. (See Deuteronomy 7:1-3; 2 Corinthians 6:14-16). 2. One of Moses' laws said what should be done if a man seduced a girl: If a man seduces a virgin who is not engaged, he must pay the bride price for her and marry her. But if her father refuses to let him marry her, he must pay the father a sum of money equal to the bride price for virgins (Exodus 22:16, 17). According to this, it is very clear that there was indeed a bride price system in effect in ancient Israel. However, as we shall see in a moment, it did not operate in a selfish, materialistic way as so often happens today. First, let us look at the other Bible passage that mentions dowry: 3. King Saul, a man who was not at all right with the Lord, had offered his daughter Michal in marriage to David if he would kill one hundred of the Philistines, the national enemy of Israel. Other than this, Saul's servants said to David, "the king desires not any dowry" (1 Samuel 18:24-15). It is clear from this that dowry, or brideprice, was indeed an established custom in Israel. And further, that King Saul was exceedingly selfish in the way he used the Custom! His purpose was to have the Philistines Kill David and so get him out of the way, even though Michal loved David (Verse 20). What a terrible misuse of the dowry tradition! How selfish a bride's father can become! Saul would even kill her bridegroom.

The proper use of the dowry system was to establish the happiness and security of the bride. Parents who loved their daughters and who feared God, did not keep the dowry paid for their daughters but gave it freely to them to be used in building up their new home. We learn this from a story in Genesis: 4. Laban was about as selfish a father as two girls ever had. When Jacob learned to love his daughter Rachael, Laban accepted his offer to work for her seven years, in as much as Jacob had no wealth to pay as a dowry. "And they seemed to him but a few days, for the love he had to her" (Genesis 29:20). But then the wedding night came, Laban and his other daughter Leah conspired to cheat Jacob; and Leah pretended to be Rachael. Poor Jacob had to work another seven years to get the girl he really loved; and he ended up with two wives instead of one! Laban's selfish, cheating character was seen over and over by his children. until finally Jacob and his family felt they had to escape. Leah and Rachael were happy to get away from being anywhere near their father. One of their complaints lets us unto the real secret of how the dowry system ought to have worked. but did not in their case: Rachael and Leah answered Jacob: There is nothing left for us to inherit from our father. HE treats us like foreigners, HE sold us, and now he has spent all the money he was paid for us. All this wealth which God has taken from our father belongs to us and to our Children" (Genesis 31:14-16). The girls' criticism was just. Their father never showed any real love for his daughters. They said he had "sold" them-the very criticism that many modern, educated young women level against today's dowry system. The trouble was that Laban wanted money more than he wanted happiness for his daughters! Laban should have bestowed on the girls the bride-price received, that they might use it to establish their new home. Instead he selfishly spent it on himself. And thus the Bible condemns such a practice on the part of any father.
The correct practice

In our modern society, all the principles embodied in the dowry system can be fully satisfied in the case of a young couple who wish to follow Christ: 1. The parents of the girl safeguard her interests by making certain that the young man who seeks her and whom she loves in return, is one fully worthy of her. They require him to give evidence of character. diligence, intelligence, and the capability of caring for her and supporting her. Whether this "evidence" is in the form of a material dowry payment of wealth, as cattle or cash, or whether it is the demonstration in his life of such a character, is not important; what is important is that all concerned are satisfied that the young man is ready to be a faithful, loving, dependable, and capable husband to the girl. This is the spirit that underlies the dowry system when properly administered.

2. Further, the parents of the girl have no intention of profiting from their daughter's marriage. The very thought of profiting from such a transaction would be abhorrent to them, almost like being party to prostitution for gain. Their concern is for the daughter's happiness. What Laban received for his daughters should have been given back for their good and that of their children. This is how true parental love should administer the dowry system. Modern young people who feel perplexed and frustrated by the dowry system need to remember that there is a God in heaven who rules and overrules the affairs of men here below (see Daniel 4:17,25,32). His Holy spirit is constantly at work in our environment to lessen the evil and to strengthen the good. This is part of the "good news" that Christ brings. The Lord is more concerned for your happiness and stability in marriage than you are yourself! To believe this is our fundamental human duty. To disbelieve it is to invite Satan's efforts to destroy your true happiness. Parents can learn to appreciate the needs of their children more than to set their hearts on their own material prosperity. The bride's parents can realize that her own life-long happiness in her marriage will bring them greater joy in the long run than any amount of material enrichment that a high bride-price can bring. If their daughter can marry a worthy young man who reveals a solid character of uprightness and fidelity, she will be happier than if she marries the unworthy son of a millionaire who can give them the highest material dowry imaginable. Her parents fear that they may be unable to satisfy the parents of their son's bride. This can be healed by the same faith in the overruling love of the God of heaven. He is wise enough and big enough to care for that need. also! Without exception, a happy, stable marriage is based on love and fidelity. Let no one be afraid that God's eternal principles will not work in today's modern society. God is not caught napping, nor is He archaic and out of step with our modern needs.

Dowry Concept in Islam

"If I dont kill her today; tomorrow she will kill me financially or some one else will burn her for the sake of dowry," rationalizes the would be father of an unborn female child, at the time of deciding a premature end for her. Such is the evil of dowry, rampantly prevailing in Indian society. A study has revealed that an estimated one million (1,000,000 ) female foetuses are being destroyed every year in India alone where, even today the birth of a female child is viewed as a curse. As soon as a daughter is born, the family in

general and the father in particular starts calculating the huge financial burden that lies ahead of him. Whereas a Muslim father seizes, the same opportunity with both his hands as his Prophet (pbuh) has promised him heaven or paradise for bringing up his daughter the way he takes care of his male child. A Muslim father does not have to bother for dowry, as there is nothing called Dowry in Islam. On the contrary, Islam enjoins the groom to give a Bridal-Gift or Dower as a token of love and assurance to his would be wife at the time of marriage. In fact without payment of this sum, the marriage cannot get solemnized. The Holy Quran instructs the believers "And give the women (whom you marry) their dower (obligatory bridal gift) happily" (4:4) The practice of dowry among ignorant Muslims is a result of the influence of the evil practices of the society they live in. Islam does not put any financial burden on the father of the girl. A Muslim father is told to get her daughter married away in a most simple Nikah ceremony solemnized by a Qazi (priest) in a mosque, witnessed by his close relatives and friends. He is not even required to throw a luncheon to the handful of invitees assembled for this occasion. In fact it is desirable on the part of the groom that he offers a reception (Waleema) to his near ones & dear ones without forgetting the poor people of his society. The example of such a simple marriage was set up by none other than the Prophet (pbuh) himself. He got his daughters married in the simplest possible manner. There was nothing in it whatsoever for the bridegroom that could be termed as dowry. The Prophet (pbuh) said: "The best of the marriages is one which is least burdensome in the financial sense to the families of the bride and the groom" Thus he paved a way for people of all times to come to live a life without stress and strain pertaining to daughters marriages too!

Mahr
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia In Islam, a mahr (in Arabic: ;also transliterated mehr, meher, or mahrieh) is a mandatory required amount of money or possessions (usually a combination of the two), paid by the groom to the bride at the time of marriage, (nikah), for her exclusive use. While the mahr is often money, it can also be anything agreed upon by the bride such as jewelry, home goods, furniture, a dwelling (the husband is already required to provide a home for his wife, but in this case she would retain

ownership of it and he would pay for it), or even a viable business that is put in her exclusive ownership and can be run entirely by her if she chooses.

Mahr (erogatio propter nuptiae in Latin law) is often mistranslated into English (as in the Quran translations below), from a translator's lack of knowledge of the true meaning of the word dowry, or is mistranslated into the word gift. The mahr is not a gift, but a mandatory requirement for all Muslim marriages. [1] The terms "dowry" and "bride price" are sometimes used to translate mahr, but these are misleading. There is no concept of dowry in Islam. The term dowry (Latin, dos dotis) is inaccurate, as strictly speaking it is the money, goods, or estate that a woman brings forth to the marriage, usually provided by her parents or family. In Islamic marriages, such assets brought into the union by the wife may only be accepted by the husband after the mahr has been paid by him to her. In the event the marriage contract does not contain an exact, specified mahr, the husband must still pay the wife a judicially determined sum, typically based on the mahr amount that women of equivalent social status receive. [2] The requirement of a mahr is mentioned several times in the Quran and Hadith[3] and although there is no maximum limit, it is at a minimum an amount that would be sufficient for the woman to be able to survive for a while if her husband dies or they divorce. The mahr may also be paid to the bride in parts with prior mutual agreement. In such an agreement, an amount is given by the groom to the bride at the signing of the marriage contract, also called a mu'qadamm (in Arabic: ; ,literally translated as forepart presented), and the latter portion postponed to a date during the marriage, also called a mu'akhaar ( in Arabic: , literally translated as delayed), with various Romanized transliterations of mu'qadamm and mu'akhaar accepted. Such an agreement does not make the full amount of the mahr any less legally required, nor is the husband's obligation to fulfill the agreement waived. To note, the husband's fulfillment of the mahr is not remove or lessened as he fulfills his obligations to reasonably house, feed, or cloth the wife and any children produced from the union during the marriage.[4]

References in other Islamic texts

The Encyclopaedia of Islam's entry on mahr states: "According to a tradition in Bukhari, the mahr is an essential condition for the legality of the marriage: 'Every marriage without mahr is null and void'."[5] According to Islamic teachings in the hadith (sayings of Muhammad), mahr is the amount to be paid by the groom to the bride at the time of marriage (nikah), some of which may be delayed according to what is agreed upon by the spouses. The mahr is for her to spend as she wishes. [6] It can be cash, jewellery or any other valuable gift. The Real Gift DOWRY ADVANTAGE

Islam has legislated the giving of the dower by the husband to the wife in order to please the womans heart and to honour her. It is also meant to bring an end to what was done in the Days of Ignorance wherein she was wronged, exploited, despised and robbed of her wealth. The dower is a right exclusively for the wife. It is her possession and none of her guardians or relatives may share any part of it. No one has any power over her concerning how she wishes to dispose of it, as long as she does so in a legally acceptable manner. She may give it away as a gift, she may lend it to others or she may give it in charity or do any other permissible acts she wishes with it.
The

dower was instituted because the goal of marriage is not the actual act of the marriage contract in itself. In fact, the actual purpose of marriage cannot be achieved unless the spouses stay in a state of marriage. However, that may not be achieved unless the dower is an obligation at the time of the marriage contract itself. In this case, when there come times that may lead the man to divorce his wife, such as estrangement or coarse behaviour, the husband would not be willing to divorce his wife due to just the slightest act of rudeness that occurs. If it were not for the dower that was required due to the contract itself, it would be very easy for him to leave her. Therefore, the goals of marriage would not be met as the goals and benefits of marriage are only met when the two are in accord and agreement with one another but that accord will not come about unless the woman is something honoured and special to the husband. But such honour will not come about unless he had to give up something important to him. This is because what is most difficult to achieve is most special to the person. Therefore, if the wife is not something special in the eyes of the husband, then he will dispose of her at the first sign of unhappiness, the accord will not occur and the purposes of marriage will not be achieved. What we see happening in some European countries, and indeed some Muslim countries, is very strange indeed. This is where the woman is required to furnish a dowry or provide the furniture for their future house. This is definitely turning the natural order of things upside down and goes against the nature of mankind. It leads to a great deal of social ills and behavioural harm. It is a means by which the woman is despised and belittled. Indeed, she is ruined because of it. If the woman is not able to gather enough wealth together for marriage, she will not be able to get married and, instead, will have boyfriends and affairs, and other evil results. Such a practice contains a great deal of evil and harm for the society; this practice may even bring about societys end soon. There is a great difference between the case where the woman feels that she and what she possesses belong to her husband and where she feels that she is something desired and honoured, as the fianc spends money on her and gives her presents and so on to get her as his

wife. One regrettable aspect of dowry-giving in recent times is that it is becoming more and more a matter of ostentation. Nothing could be more un-Islamic in motivation than this. Even the practice of performing a marriage quietly, without any flamboyant display of wealth, but subsequently giving a lavish dowry to enable the bride to set up her home is contrary to Islamic practice. It was certainly not the Sunnah of the Prophet . Faatimah was his favourite daughter, but he neither gave her a lavish dowry nor did he send things to her home after the wedding, and even when she made a request to him for something of a material nature, he only gave her the benefit of his counsel. Mahr (The Dower) Islam has successfully maintained an even balance in society between men and women by giving its unequivocal endorsement to a practical division of labour, whereby women are placed in charge of the internal arrangement of the household, while men are responsible for its financing. The home is thus organised on the pattern of a microcosmic estate, with the man in a position of authority. The Quran is specified on this issue; Allaah Says (what means): Men are in charge of women by [right of] what [qualities] Allaah has given one over the other and what they spend [in support] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allaah would have them guard [Quran 4:34] For largely biological reasons, women are well adapted to domestic pursuits while men, for similar reasons, are better suited to work outside the home. These physical and mental differences between men and women are, in practice, what underlay Islams division of familial responsibilities into internal and external spheres, with the woman dealing exclusively with the home and family and the man providing the funds. Mahr Muajjal (Promptly given dower) At the time of the marriage, the groom hands over to the bride a sum of money called Mahr (dower) which is a token of his willing acceptance of the responsibility of bearing all necessary expenses of his wife. This is the original meaning of Mahr, although this custom has come to have different connotations in modern times. There are two ways of presenting the Mahr to the bride. One is to hand it over at the time of the marriage, in which case it is known as Mahr Muajjal, or promptly given dower. During the time of the Prophet and his companions, Mahr Muajjal

was the accepted practice and the amount fixed was generally quite minimal. The giving of Mahr by Ali to Faatimah who was the Prophets daughter, is an illustration of how this custom was respected. After the marriage had been arranged, the Prophet asked Ali if he had anything he could give as dower in order to make Faatimah his lawfully wedded wife. Ali replied: "I swear by Allaah that I have nothing, O Messenger of Allaah. The Prophet is the coat of armour I once gave you? Ali possession. The Prophet then asked: Where replied that it was still in his

then instructed him to send the coat of armour to

Faatimah thereby making his union lawful. This then was the sum total of Faatimahs dower.