The Overcoming Christian Life

John 16:33
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will
have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

The Christian life is an overcoming life. Even though we will definitely have
problems and personal struggles in this life, we will be able to overcome because of
Jesus. Because of Him, we have victory over the world, including sinful habits,
bitterness, loneliness, guilt, fear, and discouragement.
Dear reader, God wants you to live an overcoming life! Please read the following
lesson with faith, not in yourself, but in God.

Lesson 4 - Overcoming Loneliness

Psalm 68:5-6
A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the
lonely in families, he leads forth the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a
sun-scorched land.

Hebrews 13:5
God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”

Introduction
Most people encounter loneliness at some point in their life. Schoolchildren
want to be accepted by their peers and have friends. Young people want a boyfriend
or girlfriend when they see their friends have those types of relationships.
Unmarried adults may lose contact with their old friends and feel lonely, especially
if many of their friends are married and busy with their own families. Married
people are lonely sometimes because their social needs cannot be met entirely by
their spouse. Even when we find fulfilling and healthy relationships, we may lose
those relationships due to family breakup, death, or other situations.
There are many reasons why we feel lonely, but the good news is that we can
overcome loneliness. In order to deal with loneliness in our lives, we need to
understand why people are lonely and how we can build meaningful relationships.

God created people to have a relationship with Himself

God created people to be social, to have meaningful relationships, and to share
lives with one another. Most importantly, God created people to have a relationship with
Him.
The first chapters of Genesis show God created people to have a close,
meaningful, day-to-day relationship with them. God gave Adam and Eve responsibility
over the plants and animals, and spent time with them face-to-face. But because Adam
and Eve listened to the serpent and disobeyed God, sin entered into the world and the
relationship between God and people was broken. Actually, this has always been the
devil’s intention—to break the relationship between God and people.
So, according to the Bible, people were created to have a relationship with God.
People will never feel entirely whole and secure until they restore their relationship with
God. When we accept Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, the sin that separates us from
God is erased so we can have a close, meaningful relationship with God again, just like
Adam and Eve had with God before they sinned. This relationship with God is the most
important relationship we can have—more important than any relationship we have with
our family, spouse, or friends. You were created to have a relationship with God, and
nothing can replace that relationship with Him.

God created people to have relationships with other people

God also created people to have relationships with each other. When God made
Adam, He said it was not good for man to be alone, so He made a woman, Eve. Social
interaction is one of the necessary elements of life. Everyone needs to love and be loved,
and to share their lives with others. It should be no surprise that we need others—God
made us that way!
So, if we are made to desire relationships with each other and there are 6 billion
people alive, then why do people feel lonely?
When sin entered the world, not only did it ruin the relationship between God and
people, but also between people. If we take a look around us, it’s obvious how sin has
destroyed what should be natural fellowship between people. The problem is as old as
Cain and Abel (see Genesis 4). Sin is why people become jealous, suspicious, fearful,
contemptuous, and cruel. Because of sin, we have something broken inside us that
prevents us from having immediate, close fellowship with other people.
But when we know God, the thing that is broken inside us starts to heal. Did you
ever notice that the Bible teaches very good principles for building healthy relationships?
For example, Christians are taught to submit to one another, to help people in need, and
to always be patient and kind. When we become Christian, the Holy Spirit helps us to
become more like God in terms of His character.
Knowing God helps us to have whole, healthy relationships with other people.
And that’s what this lesson is about—it’s not about simply making friends so you won’t
be lonely. No, this lesson is about how to be a whole person in God who is ready for
relationships with other people.

Summary: We were created to have a relationship with God, and we will never feel
entirely whole and secure until we restore that relationship. Also, sin causes
problems in human relationships and prevents us from having immediate, close
fellowship with others. When we have a relationship with God, the Holy Spirit will
change us to reflect God’s character. A good relationship with God will help us
have good relationships with others.
How to overcome loneliness
God understands why we are lonely and He has the solution. (Actually, He is the
solution!) When Jesus began His ministry, He applied the prophesy of Isaiah 61:1-3 to
Himself:
Isaiah 61:1-3
The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach
good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom
for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the
Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide
for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the
oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of
despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display
of his splendor.

Jesus came to fulfill this prophesy. Jesus solved the problem of sin for us and
allowed us to have close, intimate fellowship with God once again. Before we met Jesus,
we were captives of sin, poor in love and the character of God, and without hope. But
Jesus sets us free from all those things that oppressed us before. The same power that
raised Jesus from the dead is working in us to give us new life. The old has gone, the new
has come!
Jesus came to set you free from loneliness. You no longer need to feel unloved,
misunderstood, alone, or without close fellowship. Jesus came to restore the most
important relationship in your life—your relationship with God—and to enable you to
have close, meaningful relationships with others.
Let’s learn how to apply this truth in our lives. There are several simple and not-
so-simple things we can do to overcome lonliness.

1. Know God is your best companion

At some points in our lives, we all feel alone, misunderstood, and vulnerable.
During those times, we need someone to be with us, understand our heart, and give us
encouragement and strength. The Bible says that God does all these things for us—He is
always with us, knows us better than we know our selves, and encourages and
strengthens us. He is our best companion.
King David had a very good friend in Jonathan, who supported and encouraged
David during the most difficult time in David’s life. When Jonathan was killed in a battle
with the Philistines, David must have felt very lonely. However, David had a close
relationship with God and was able to draw strength from that relationship. When you
read through the Psalms that David wrote, they all talk about David’s close relationship
with God. They are an excellent example of the type of relationship we should have with
God.
 David’s psalms demonstrate a close relationship with God
Psalm 41 shows how David relied on his relationship with God during a dark time
in his life, when even a close and trusted friend betrayed him. “Even a close
friend, whom I trusted, he who shared my bread, has lifted up his heel against
me.”
Psalm 51 shows how David sought to restore his relationship with God after
sinning. “Against you, you only, have I sinned … Do not cast me from your
presence or take your Holy Spirit from me.”
Psalm 34 was written by David after he escaped from both King Saul and
Abimelech, the king of the Philistines. He rejoices in the success that God has
given him. “Glorify the Lord with me; let us exalt his name together … A
righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all.”

2. Control our thoughts and attitudes

When we feel alone and isolated from others, we are an easy target for the devil.
Satan will come to us when we are vulnerable and try to drag us down with all kinds of
lies and destructive thoughts. In John 8:44, Jesus said that when the devil lies, he speaks
his native language. We should learn to recognize and refuse to listen to the lies of the
devil.
Satan wants us to feel lonely and miserable. He will tell us that no one
understands or cares about us, or encourage us to think negatively about other people.
Satan’s goal is to keep us from connecting with others and receiving godly
encouragement.
Brother or sister, you are the only one who can stand up to the devil’s lies. James
4:7 says that if we resist the devil, he will flee from us. But we need to firmly resist by
refusing to entertain negative thoughts and attitudes. When the enemy comes and lies to
you, firmly stand on the truth. You are valued by God and are an irreplaceable part of the
church body. God wants to have close fellowship with you and for you to have close
fellowship with other Christians.

3. Focus on meeting other people’s needs

Ask any fisherman, and he’ll tell you that you need the right bait to catch fish. In
the same way, if we are caring and sincere people, then we will naturally attract caring
and sincere friends.
The great news is that as we mature as Christians, we learn to be more like Jesus
—the most caring and sincere friend ever. In John 15:13, Jesus said he was our best
friend because he laid his life down for our sakes. In Philippians, Paul urges Christians to
imitate Jesus by thinking of others’ interests:

Philippians 2:3-7
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better
than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the
interests of others.
Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.

If you want to develop close, meaningful relationships with others, we need to be

more like Jesus. We need to think of others’ interests, not only our own. Ask God to give
you a genuine concern for others, and wisdom to know how to demonstrate that concern.

4. Open up your life

It may sound obvious, but in order to develop close and meaningful relationships,
we need to open up our lives to others. This means making time for social activities,
accepting invitations, and reciprocating other people’s efforts to get to know you.
God has made each of us unique, and some are more gifted socially than others.
But, as a general rule, the time and effort you invest in building godly relationships will
be generously rewarded.

5. Devote yourself to church fellowship

Loneliness is something that should be rare in God’s church. Acts 2:42 says
believers in the early church devoted themselves to fellowship. Today, things should be
no different. The church is still Christians’ spiritual family, and we are all to regard each
other as brothers and sisters in Christ. The church is not just a place where people with
similar interests or backgrounds gather—it is the family of God, made up of diverse
people who love Jesus.
Believe it or not, but you have more shared interests with people in the church
than with anyone else outside the church. Jesus said that those who follow Him would be
persecuted and hated by the world, but that the love demonstrated in the church would
show the world God was with them.

John 15:18-19
If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it
would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you
out of the world. That is why the world hates you.

John 17:23
May they [all believers] be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent
me and have loved them even as you have loved me.

Even if you feel there is no one in church who can be your friend, I urge you to
devote yourself to the church fellowship because that is where your spiritual family is. In
the end, if we believe the words of Jesus, we ought to stand with our brothers and sisters
in the church until the end.
In old times, travelers built fires when lying down at night. Lions would prowl
around in the dark outside the camp, waiting for someone to come out. 1 Peter 5:8 says
the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. If we run
away from the church fellowship, we become an easy target for the devil. Commit
yourself to the fellowship and stick close to your brothers and sisters.

Conclusion
Loneliness is a serious problem that impacts everyone at different times. We all
have a deep longing for sincere, close relationships with other people because God
created us that way. It is natural to desire meaningful relationships with others. Don’t feel
that you are the only one that deals with this issue—even Adam in the Garden of Eden
needed another person to be with him.
In order to overcome loneliness, we need to cultivate a closer relationship with
God, who will always be our best friend. Friendship with God is like a massive rock in
our social lives. When we stand on that rock, we are socially and emotionally secure.
That foundation allows us to relate to others with confidence, not with desperation. As we
become closer to God, the Holy Spirit will also develop us into better friends to others,
which will in turn allow us to build genuine, godly relationships.

Discussion Questions
1. What is the most important relationship in your life?
2. Why do negative thoughts and attitudes prevent us from having close
relationships with others?
3. What are some ways you can meet the needs of others?
4. What opportunities do you have to open up your life to others in the church?