Tess Joyner English 1101 September 23, 2013 Snapshot Essay Cover Letter This narrative is about my literacy

in dance. When we were handed out this assignment I was a little freaked out. I dont like to write so how can I write about literacy for five snapshots. Then Rebecca explained it more to us and I knew I was going to write about dance. I have danced all my life so by now it is a part of me. I thought this was something I could really write about that people would enjoy reading. I think this draft is good; Ive gotten a lot of help from the WRC and from my peers. At the WRC they really helped me. We took it sentence by sentence for about 4 pages, but thats all we had time for. So for the rest of my paper I just did what we did together on my own. I still think it needs some work on the content part of it. It is hard for me to know what is important to have in and what is not important. I am looking forward to getting Rebeccas feedback on my paper.
Comment [t3]: Make sure to address in cover letters what specifically you want feedback on. Comment [t2]: great Comment [t1]: Im happy to hear this!

Dance is Life Walking into the studio, I saw it was a huge room with a ton of mirrors and no smell that I can remember. Everything looked so big, but maybe thats because I was so small. I mean, I was only 5 and tall for my age! The big girls were just starting their class, and they had these beautiful shoes on that I could not take my eyes off of. They danced so beautifully, and I wanted to be just like them. My class was next, and I was brand new. Everybody was so nice, and I made new friends that very first day. After about 3 months of taking a class once a week, I learned we did a show at the end of the year. It was Beauty and the Beast. A couple weeks later we learned that our class would be the teacups in the show. I was so excited! Everybody in my class wanted to be Chip from the movie, but of course none of us were because that isnt in the ballet. We worked on the show for about 3 months; we only had one dance since we were the youngest class. On show night they let us stand back stage and watch the other dances. I loved watching the big girls. During their dances I could smell sweat and hear the shoes hitting the ground because they were so heavy, but it was still so beautiful. I will never forget standing back stage watching them and wanting to be just like them. We had a helper who did our dance with us. She was amazing and she knew my dance better than me. Being on stage made me so nervous, but it was so much fun. What I told myself then, to not be nervous, is what I tell myself now when I get on stage. I thank my parents everyday for starting me in dance that young and at all. My mom really supported me that first year by always watching me in class and encouraging me at home. She was the biggest sponsor of my dance career.

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Comment [t4]: Great line. You are immediately drawing me into the action here.

Comment [t5]: When you connect two clauses that could function separately as sentences, you will want to put a comma before your and, or, but, yet, so, nor. I do a little test to see if I need a comma. If the two pieces Im connecting could be their own sentence, then I know they need a comma. Example: Everybody was so nice. I made new friends that very first day. Youre connecting them with and, which works perfectly, but you just need to put a comma before the and. Comment [t6]: Cool Comment [t7]: I like this line a lot. Shows your age and reference to the Disney movie that many of us know.

Comment [t8]: Learning not only in class but also from watching the older girls

Comment [t9]: Switching to present.

Comment [t10]: This feels a little disconnected from the story above. Perhaps you can reflect on the main figures of the story: the older girls, getting to perform with the whole dance studio, etc, OR you can incorporate more of your mom into this story.

Comment [t11]: Aw!

As I grew older I learned the beautiful shoes were pointe shoes, and one day I was excited to get my own pair. A long 7 years had passed since that first year of dance because I had to wait until I was ready. A dancers ankles need to be strong enough to support themselves to be able to wear pointe shoes. Dancers are physically standing on their toes. When I walked into the store, I saw no Pointe shoes. In these kinds of stores you have to make appointments to find what kind of shoe fits your foot. There are many different types of Pointe shoes made, such as Gaynor Minden, Grishko, or Russian. This very nice woman helped me find the right shoe. I walked out of that store with a pair of hundred dollar Gaynor Mindens. The next day at class we had to dance in them. It was the hardest thing Ive ever done. None of us knew what we got ourselves into. Class was only an hour and when I took off my shoes my toes had no blood in them. Pointe shoes need to be broken in. It is
Comment [t13]: What was this process like? How did you know that the Gaynor Mindens were the right ones? Comment [t12]: Should this be capitalized? If so, edit this section to have all Pointe shoes capitalized.

necessary and depending on the person it usually takes a week or a month. Mine took a month and after you break them in they are still painful. As the weeks went on, I really struggled in class. It was so hard for me to get up on my shoes, and it seemed like everybody else was getting the hang of it. So every night I would put on my shoes at home and practice. My ankles needed to be stronger and I was determined to get them there. When I switched to these shoes I had to relearn everything that I had learned in the last 7 years. That year was probably my hardest year of dance, but I made it though. The next year I changed Pointe shoes to Grishko, which is a stronger shoe and right for my foot. Something important about Pointe shoes is that we get them brand new, we break them in, and they are comfortable for about a month beforethen they die. The next couple years I went though at least 6 Pointe shoes a year.
Comment [t16]: I imagine this is very expensive--- and frustrating to continuously break in new shoes. Comment [t14]: Ouch.. I watch a lot of dance shows/movies, and its amazing how dancers make it look so painless and effortless when in reality it is very, very hard. Comment [t15]: New skills were being asked of you.

Comment [t17]: Great use of correlating image.

I walked into the gym, smelling the sweaty mats they had laid out. It looked so fun; Id always wanted to be a gymnast. I seeaw the older kids being trained and the younger ones having fun. There was screaming and craziness. It was a birthday party, after all. I watched all the little ones take turns on the trampoline and finally it was my turn. Somebody called to me to do a leap because Im a dancer, so I did. As I was in the air I realized what a bad idea this was. I came down on my ankle and it twisted. All of a sudden I couldnt breathe. I was freaking out. I tried to walk on it but I couldnt, so I knew something was wrong. It was so painful, and all I could hear were people around me asking me if I was okay. My dad and a coach walked me up to the observation deck where I iced my ankle. Finally my dad decided to take me to the ER. I found out I had a sprained ankle. My first thought was, how am I going to dance?
Comment [t20]: yikes Comment [t19]: Ah, so you are getting to try tumbling stuff because of a party. Comment [t18]: Keep in past tense

I still went to dance every night I had class. I had to watch. Even though I love dance, I will be the first to say it gets boring, and sometimes I dont want to go. But watching everybody else dance when I couldnt was really hard. It was the time of the year that we started learning the dance for the recital. I knew I would be better by show time but learning the dance would be the hard part because I had to teach myself. I had to go to class and write down what they were doing to learn the dance without doing it. It was the hardest way to learn a dance, but I got through it. When I sprained my ankle it was a blessing in disguise. I want to be a dance teacher, so since Ive had that experience of injuring myself I can help others that this happens to. It taught me how to learn dance in a way that I never could before.
Comment [t22]: Good note here Comment [t21]: Great narrative so far about a situation that led you to have to reposition yourself in the dance classroom and continue learning in a new way.

As Im running down the hall with my best friend to get to the dance room, this girl ran past me saying, Congrats, see you next year in class. Wait, I made the schools
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dance team?, I thought. I had to see for myself. We finally got there, and it was true. I made the dance team for my junior year of high school. I had wanted this since 8th grade. I was beyond excited. The dance team was modern dance; I had never done that before. I knew I would have to work hard, especially to impress the seniors on the team. It was different from any other class or experience I have had in dance. All of the dances we did were student work and all made up by the students. I loved having somebody that was my age or a year older teach me. I met one of my best friends, Britney, who helped me in the class. I would say she sponsored my dancing by showing me that I can make up good dances and teach them. The problem with other teachers was that sometimes they made us do movements that we did not like. This was very important, especially because the dance team I was in we danced in front of the whole school. Also, since I want to be a dance teacher it really gave me opportunities, such as choreographing for my classmates. Being on the dance team really added to my experience. My junior year we went to New Orleans and danced at the Sugar Bowl. We got experienced learning from with famous teachers and got to dance on TV. My senior year we went to New York and danced at steps and Alvin Aileys. I made friends that I will have for the rest of my life.

Comment [t23]: You can use italics to show thoughts, which makes it a little smoother for the reader. Again, great narrative, pulling me straight into the action. Formatted: Font: Italic

Comment [t24]: Interesting! Did you get to design dances for it?

Comment [t25]: Ok good, so this is definitely a new part of literacy, choreographing dances and then teaching others.

Comment [t26]: School experience?

Comment [t27]: Caps? Comment [t28]: So it seems that this experience was much more social and allowed for opportunities that traditional dance would not have.

5, 6, 7, 8LETS GO; what I hear when Im waiting for my class. I was the new girl again, just like when I was little. I thought it would be better for me to switch studios. That way I would get more experience with different styles and teachers. I was waiting for my jazz class in a small area with a lot of girls. By the time class is over, I had never been pushed so hard. We warmed up, stretched, did across the floor, and a combination. She taught the combination but went so fast that you didnt have time to think. It was my hardest class I had ever taken. I learned so many useful things from just a year at that studio. It was such an adjustment to switch studios for my senior year of high school, but it was good for me. I had so many different classes like hip-hop and modern. It made me learn how to adjust to other teachers styles because I was only used to one. It helped me
Comment [t30]: Such as? Comment [t29]: Was this new studio much bigger? How did it compare to your old one?

with dance team. It made me a better dancer, and I feel like it made me learn as a person. Especially since I was going into college next year. It taught me how to deal with change.
Comment [t31]: This one is much more reflective than narrative. You may want to consider adding more narrative here to make it match the other stories.

I could feel the sweat dripping down my face as the clouds go away and the sun shines brighter. We were having modern class outside. I am now a freshman in college, in a college level dance class. Now that Im finally here, I can look back at the experiences Ive had in dance and how they have helped me now. Taking ballet since I was five makes ballet easier for me than others. Learning from a former professional ballerina in ballet class helps me in ballet as well. Having modern class at school, outside of school, and going to New York helps me in modern dance. I am dealing with living in a new

place and having all new teachers. Even though dance is hard as ever now, it is still something that I can rely on especially because everything has changed. I get to look forward to learning so many new dance styles and about dance in my years in college. I will also be learninglearn how to teach dance. I want dance in my life forever and I cant wait to share this passion with others.
Comment [t33]: Same note as the story above. I like the reflection here. I think it brings the story to an end and shows where youre heading, but balancing it was a little more narrative will make it match the previous stories. I really enjoyed this piece. Its obvious that you considered what things sponsored (positively and negatively) your literacy in dance. Comment [t32]: Great statement. Its a constant within a great time of change in your life.