When writing my draft Literacy Narrative I felt as if I needed to try extremely hard to make the piece seem as if there

was a visible progression. This ordering, hopefully, would demonstrate the steps and stages through my literacy of public speech. I believe my elaboration on my emotions is effective and accurate throughout the narrative. This is an important aspect to include as it is the embodiment of factors which originally prevented my learning of public speech literacy. Alternatively it was extremely difficult to explain the concrete steps I had to undergo to improve and grow my literacy. For example the mentoring from my teacher Mrs. Saulle was extremely difficult to explain and most difficult demonstrate how it improved my literacy, yet it was probably my most important influence. I feel I want to keep my opening passage as it sets up a demonstration of the gap between my writing and speaking ability. This passage highlights the learning process I underwent to improve myself as a speaker. I would like to consider revising my passage about DECA as I dont believe it fully conveys my message: DECA helped me curb my anxiety of speech. In conclusion I would also like to know from a readers view: does the piece show a progression from virtually no ability to speak publicly into the ability to speak effectively?

Michael Roth Rebecca Agosta English 1101-68 September 23, 2013 Finding a Voice While I always thought I was an average student, I did have a particular interest in writing. I first discovered this in the 6th grade when we started a class blog. Each student would contribute posts about a topic of their choice and there would be votes on the top pieces. Most of the time I was one of those and that felt really good. I played sports at the time too, and it felt great to win but this was a different sort of good feeling. This feeling was a matter of personal identification and expression that I hadnt experienced before. I got really into these blogs. I could say what I thought with very little restriction. I believe that was primarily because we could say anything we wanted and it was where I found my first soapbox. Maybe because I felt some strange need to tell people what I thought or express my undeveloped opinions, nonetheless. I would stay up late finding topics and neglecting my other homework to write dozens of these. I say that to make this point: writing and developing my opinions felt natural to me. This was around the same time in my life where I discovered that I want to become an attorney. My logic was as follows: a lawyer must be able to both write and articulate his thoughts. I knew I could write them (or so I thought) and now I needed to be able to do the latter. That should have been a seamless transition. The basis of speech is writing. Those two are

indivisible abilities. If I could write it, all I had to do was say it aloud. Right? But like many things in life, it didnt quite work out that way. Fast forward to freshman year I decided to learn about public speaking. My idea again was that I wanted to be able to both write and communicate my ideas. What kind of lawyer cant speak in court? Second semester 3rd period, right after lunch, I took Speech I. Our first assignment was to speak for 30 seconds about something that interests us. I got really nervous as the list narrowed down to me, then my turn comes and I feel myself tense up. My heart is exploding inside of me and I feel a fear worse than anything Ive felt before. There was a growing intensity. What was going on? All I had to do was stand up there and talk about..? Wait. What was the topic again? What was I supposed to say? I couldnt even think. I felt my sandwich from lunch just before and it felt like a weight inside my stomach. This was the Fight-or-Flight reaction yet there was no danger. It was a paralyzing experience. I stood there awkwardly as my mouth dried and my palms sweating. I had forgotten what I wanted to say and couldnt think any longer. The teacher said for me to sit down. Visibly I was a mess. It far got worse as the semester dragged on. For one of our largest speeches, I had the worst reaction. I knew I would be one of the last few picked to go. As each person before me spoke, I felt that same anxiety. Only this time it was amplified significantly. I felt my chest tighten up and myself hunching over as I sat waiting. Blinded by my condition, suddenly it was my turn. I panicked and lied and said I didnt prepare anything. I took the zero and killed my grade because I was far too afraid. I even had a moment of hysteria would the fall out the second floor window really kill me? Or would it just hurt a lot?

Sophomore year I joined DECA, an international program for students interested in business. At the competition we were given prompts of business topics to speak about and 15 minutes later participants had to speak to judges about their prompts and solutions. I really expected this to be a repeat of Speech class. Before it was my turn I got the same feelings of anxiety. I sat down and spoke to the judges yet I actually had things to say. My sentences were jumbled, unclear at times and certainly not eloquent. It still baffled me how I could sit down with nearly anyone and have a conversation yet I couldnt speak in a formal setting. But there was some progress and that was big for me. Maybe it was because I was really interested in the subjects but I spoke formally and I didnt hate it. Where was this in Speech class?! As more competitions came I got the same type of anxiousness yet it wasnt as terrible. I still wasnt polished or even decent, but it wasnt the same feelings as before. While my anxiety began to curb and my confidence grow, my delivery was still terrible. I couldnt speak without um, uh or like. I couldnt present my thoughts with any sort of order or convincing appeal. I needed to find a way to have more form and order in my speeches. It didnt matter how I felt anymore, if I couldnt present my thoughts properly then it was as if I had nothing to say. But I always thought I could write effectively; why not carry that over into speaking? Junior year in Mrs. Saulles English class is an experience I will never forget. At this point I was still a very confident writer. I wrote virtually every essay the night before without

planning, scored a high B or A and never thought more of it. Like every essay before, I did the same thing for her class except she saw right through it. She reviewed one of my pieces (and I was particularly confident it looked effortful) and then tore it up on the spot in front of the entire class. I was really offended and embarrassed, mostly the latter. This being my favorite teacher too, I was thoroughly hurt and stayed so. I stopped answering questions and participating. Finally we spoke about it and she said something to the effect of You could write much better if you tried. I was told that my writing was clearly flawed but could be improved. I respected her and her professional opinion so I took her offer to learn how to properly write. She explained the entire process of logical planning and research. While this practice mainly effected the practice of writing, it carried over into speech. While I had less anxiety, I still couldnt put together a cogent and sequenced argument. The ability to create a logical argument also forces a writer to think in a more progression/logic based pattern. This variety of thinking causes a speaker to present his/her work in a more logical and organized fashion. Her lessons on writing in a logical format have given me the ability to convey more progressing arguments and therefore a better quality of speech. Senior year I took my favorite class: Strategic Marketing Honors with Mr. Taylor. Coincidentally it was the class most heavily reliant on oral presentations and speeches. Ironic considering how deeply afraid I use to be of public formal speech. Our final grade was based on a 15 minute presentation made in front of the class. We had to convince the board of the company and its CEO (class and Mr. T) to buy our product and win their votes.

To decide the order of presentations we all picked a random number and then each number was pulled from a random online generator. My number was 70. The first number picked was 70. I would be the first to present. A few years ago the thought of being first and such a long presentation would drive me to nearly have a heart attack. I began writing my presentation weeks in advance and was sure to order it in the logical progressive style that had worked so well before. I was as confident as could be. Waiting to present I felt energized and confident before I began and only mildly nervous. I stood before the class waiting for the projector to light up, the class to quiet and the deep nod from Mr. Taylor and it all happened in sync. I began speaking confidently and rattling off facts and figures. Each argument was built upon the previous and summed into a total presentation. I ended with my most satisfying presentation along with my highest grade. This was a tremendous change from Speech I. I didnt feel afraid or confused. I felt both assured and confident in myself. I felt satisfied that I learned to control my emotions and thoughts under what (seemed like) impossible pressures.