I always knew there was a darkness, a coldness within my soul; even my family knew it.

They cried but I didnt. They felt sadness and I didnt. Ice Queen and Cold Hearted was called out many times. At first it hurt but eventually like all other things before it I learned to block it out. The more distant I became, the less I cared for humanity. Animals became my main comfort and solitude but even they couldnt stop the detached emptiness that had filled my heart. I prayed many a occasion to God that He would make me feel, make me normal and to be more like my family who seemed to see me as a creature from a different realm and world entirely but even God couldnt and didnt make me the person I wanted to be. As a young child I felt aloof and even imagined killing a young girl off my street who attended the same class and school as me just because I didnt like her. Normal children dont think that way, normal children are happy and carefree and I was set apart from them. I have felt pain, sadness, sorrow, grief over losing a loved one and I have cried and yet those feelings slowing became number each time something happened. Even death slowly became a slight sadness and a few tears of I cared enough for the person in life and if I didnt then I would dispassionately assess and look upon it like I was reading a boring passage from a book.

My blood may be red And breath fills my lungs But my heart is slowly becoming numb And my soul as black as coal I prayed to the saviour above to redeem more But even He couldnt fix my poisonous, nub core What hope have I of redemption, when even death hurts less than before?