1 Annie DeSantis Professor Collin Hull English 2010 December 5, 2013

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Who Defines Femininity?

For numerous decades women have been wearing makeup, high heels, dresses, and long hair. They are most often seen with shaved legs, shaved underarms, freshly painted nails and perfectly groomed hair. Women are more commonly stay at home mothers or working more assistance type of jobs than men. All of these stereotypes are so common and so normal to society that we fail to question why it is women who are nearly expected to do these things and not men. While some may argue that all of this pampering began to boost girls self esteem or they may say it started through a heavy influence from men and their opinions while others believe it is society as a whole who influences femininity the most.

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What Is Femininity?
First, lets explore the different definitions of femininity. Inside the Webster dictionary it defines femininity as the quality or nature of the female sex (Webster). It then uses the example sentence she managed to become a CEO without sacrificing her femininity to further explain their interpretation of the word. While some may find this example helpful in understanding the word better, Marica Reynolds, author of Wander Woman feels that ... being feminine means I am okay with who I am, no matter what type of girl I am, what clothes I like to wear, or what life path I choose (Reynolds). Her definition reflects a more individual or personal view on femininity while the dictionarys definition and example is more general and could be viewed as sexist.

Who Defines It?

With all these definitions, knowing who decides what femininity is can be confusing and maybe even inexplicable. Some people feel that women wear makeup and walk around in high heels because it is simply just the ways it has been for so long. Women have been trying to achieve what they feel is better because its how they have been raised. Women are more apt to modifying their looks than men because in a study done by the American Association of University Women showed that, when asked if they are happy with themselves, only 29% of girls said yes. Whereas 46% of boys agreed with the statement, proving that women generally have a lower self esteem than men (AAUW). Being feminine, in its stereotypical form, is believed to make up for the lack of confidence women find in themselves. In contrary, others argue that being feminine, wearing makeup, painting your nails or dying your hair, are signs of confidence (see fig. 3). In an article titled Truly Toffee and Raisin

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Hell, professor at University of Oregon, D. Merskin writes about the various reasons behind women wearing cosmetics, specifically lipstick. He finds in history the meaning behind lipstick at the given time. Merskin points out that women use makeup to declare themselves to a point where cosmetics have become the female equivalent to the power tie (593). Some people feel that the confidence gained by being feminine and enhancing the soft look of a woman adds a stronger view or meaning to the word femininity. It shows women can be a healthy balance of delicate and determined. During World War II era he states that ... women were encouraged to use, and applauded for use of lipstick, as advertising reminded them of the importance of keeping your femininity--even though youre doing a mans work (Merskin 593). (See figure 2). His use of the word would define femininity as a more delicate idea, not strong and something only obtained by wearing makeup/lipstick. His definition also supports the idea that as far back as at least the 30s women have looked essentially the same as the modern day woman.
1940s lipstick ad

Mens Influence
Another consideration as to what defines or influences femininity is men. Women go through, sometimes extreme, measures to become as close to perfect beauty as they can get. In general, getting ready for the day for a women consists of waking up, showering, shaving

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everything, drying hair, curling or straightening hair, picking out just the right outfit, putting on foundation then mascara and eyeliner then eye shadow, maybe a little blush and the list goes on. So, why? Many have the idea that this is how men perceive femininity. Michael Kimmel, the author of the text book titled The Gendered Society, supports this idea that men create the look of femininity when he mentions how we know a lot more about standards of female beauty in other cultures than we know about standards of male beauty in part because its men who are creating those standards in the first place (Kimmel 339). If being feminine to men means being polite at all times, being the nurturer and always looking neat and orderly, then women are more often than not going to follow along with these practices. Merskin again mentions that women have to survey everything [they are] and everything [they do] because how [they] appear to others, and ultimately, how [they] appear to men, is of crucial importance for what is normally thought of as the success of her life (594). This supports the possibility that men do indeed have a major influence on the meaning behind femininity.

The Society as a Whole

While many people feel that it is neither the women or the men who are the ones who define what it means to be feminine, a lot of people assume it is instead the society in general who influences the image of women. We can understand this assumption based on how the media portrays women. In part 3 of his book called Gendered Interactions, Kimmel talks about the dramatic emphasis on thinness (340) due to

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the constant influence of the media, though the average American women today if five foot four and weighs 162.9 pounds and wears a size 14 dress, the average model is five foot eleven an weighs 117 pounds and wears a size 2 (Kimmel 341). While the quote may seem irrelevant, since the average women isnt close in size to models, it does show that women are being portrayed to the rest of the world to look one way, tall and thin. Another way society and the media have defined femininity started back with TV shows in the late 1900s that never condoned women to be sexually active until marriage. Again words from Kimmel support this idea, men were expected to have some sexual experience prior to marriage, many women and men placed a premium on womens virginity (Kimmel 361). This may not be up to date, considering the TV shows in this decade are far left field from the ones years back as far as morals go. Women in current TV shows are now going out and participating in various sexual activities. By doing this, the media is sending a message to society, saying this is how girls should behave. On the other hand, society views that this is wrong and women should be innocent. Kimmle quotes See F. Kallmann, in Journal of Nervous Mental Disorders, in regards to both a man and a women loosing their virginity, that for a man its a sign of manhood, and for a woman theres still some loss of value (Kallmann 365). This helps support the thought that society may have been a factor in not only how a feminine women looks but also on how a feminine woman should behave. There are many different ideas on who decided what it means to be feminine. This research supports the idea that there may not be one group that defines the term femininity but maybe instead that there is a large mixture of both.

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Work Cited
Clark, Charles S. "Does The Educational System Shortchange Females?" Education and Gender. CQ Researcher, 3 June 1994. Web. 24 Sept. 2013 "Femininity." Merriam-Webster. Merriam-Webster, n.d. Web. 24 Sept. 2013. Kimmel, Michael S. "Introduction Human Beings: An Engendered Species." Introduction. The Gendered Society. 4th ed. New York: Oxford Univ., 2011. 1+. Print. Merskin, Deborah. "Truly Toffee and Raisin Hell: A Textual Analysis of Lipstick Names." EBSCO Host. Springer Science + Business Media, 7 May 2007. Web. 22 Sept. 2013. Reynolds, Marcia. "What Is Femininity?" The Huffington Post. TheHuffingtonPost.com, 06 Oct. 2010. Web. 23 Sept. 2013

Image Cited
Figure 1. The Express Triune, Blogs. Found., March 7, 2011; web; September 23, 2013. Figure 2. Fifties Wedding. Found., January 26th 2011; web; September 23, 2013. Figure 3. Madame Noire. Found., October 12, 2012; web; September 23, 2013.