Relationship Issues Int’l

Presents a monthly programme

tagged

&After
“I DO”
Featuring:
True talks on
Relationship, Marriage,
Parenting, Purpose e.t.c

every
3rd Sunday of the month
@ 2a, Oduduwa street,
off Sobo Arobiodu street,
GRA, Ikeja, Lagos.

Time: 4pm prompt

for enquiries: 0803 725 7479, 0808 390 6405
S. O. S TO ALL SINGLES
There is an issue that for some time now has been giving me great concern; I am seeing marriages collapsing at an alarming rate. Couples, who
look a perfect match after some of some years in the marriage, suddenly throw down the towel. Who is to blame? Everyone, but not the person
that is asked. I feel that the rate of divorce in this country will increase as years go by; the only people, who will be immune to it, are those who
are smart enough to have discovered the truth on how to make their relationship succeed as singles.

I am sending out an S.O.S to every single that will have the privilege to read this write up because, I see gloom in the future for those that are yet
too be married and it really scares me. In the nations of the world that have the least number of divorces, Nigeria isn't included amongst them.
Divorce is an evil that produces more evils. Singles whose parents opted out of their marriage, have a high possibility of not staying till death do
them part in their own home when they tie the knot. I heard the story of a lady that was going through challenges in her marriage; she said, she
was afraid that her marriage will soon come to an end. Why? Her mum opted out of her marriage because of the challenges she had with her
father, unfortunately, it has unconsciously form the bases for determining how much she can take in life before she throws down the towel.

My question to every single that will have the privilege of reading this write up is; do you want to have a success marital future? If you answer is
yes and you mean it, then follow the instructions I have to give-

Don't fall in love- Never make the mistake of choosing a partner on the basis of your emotional feeling; emotion, call love is not the best
parameter to choose a partner from. Your heart skipping beats when you are with a guy don't mean he is the right person for you; the fact that
your heart skips beats may be that if you date him, you will eventually have heart attacks. Don't allow emotions becloud your sense of
judgment; don't let it make you like the proverbial statement, 'The dog that will get lost will not listen to the whistle of its owner.'

When I counsel singles that are in love, I know nothing I say will be reasonable to them. Avoid this trap. Years ago, I counseled a single against
getting married to the man she was dating; she didn't listen to the advice I gave all because she was in love with him. Years later, when I saw her
in a gathering I attended, she told me she didn't stay in the marriage for more than six month before she fled for her dear life.

Don't make the decision of relationship based on how he treats you alone- One of the statement that I have made, over and over again is that,
before marriage, men are emotional givers; after marriage, they are practical givers. Never get carried away by the Mr. Biggs outings; after
marriage, it will be a rare one, so don't make the mistake of making conclusions on a person based on how he treats you like an angel.

By design, we are created to act in consistent manner; it implies that the way he treats others around him, is the way he'll treat you in the final
analysis. Don't ever give excuses for actions that are not right, done to others by Mr. Lover Boy because if you get married to him, you will get a
piece of it too. Rachael broke up her relationship with Joshua primarily because she was attracted to John who seems to have a lot of cash to
throw around. He would give her anything she demands of him irrespective of the cost; when she got married to him, she began to see the dark
side of John. He would come home late in the night not bothering how she fended for herself and their daughter. He was heartless and some
times beat her up if he feels she is nagging him. Today she is living with regrets for her action. She has divorced him and have moved in with her
parents; though Joshua is still single, he doesn't want to have anything to do with her.

Don't concentrate on what is secondary while neglecting what is primary- I asked a single once to list out the criteria she wants in the man she
would like to get married too- the first thing she said was that he must be fine and the last words was that he should be God fearing. Good list,
but bad arrangement was my response to her.

All in the name of wanting to get married to fine boy/babe, many have ended up in the wrong hands. I feel a thing should be judged on the basis
of its content before the cover it carries. The cover is often like the magic word, abracadabra- the more you look the less you see. I tell singles,
what you can't see is more important than what is revealed; I always advice singles to be sensitive to their prospective partners heart and
mindset. There are lots of beautiful ladies who have appalling mindset. If the heart and mindset of a person is wrong, it will destroy the
relationship the person get into. The two must be right to get the desired end you want.

I heard the story of Alex years ago; he was a guy with a good heart, but over the years he had developed the mindset that women ought to be
house wives rather than be ambitious in life. When he dated Dora, she would hear him say, he'll want his wife to be at home full time to take care
of the children. She thought he didn't mean what he said and that over time he would change his mind. They are married but having challenges
in their marriage; the reason is that Segun has asked her to decide between her job and her marriage.

Don't say I do until you pray- For your marriage to success in the future; you will need to do a lot of prayers on your own. Yes it's good to get
counsel from people you believe in, but it's only God that truly knows the heart of a man and He only sees the future. Everything may look
perfect in a relationship, yet the canker worms may be silently eating it up from the root. Please pray until you have a release in your heart to go
ahead with it and if you don't have one, don't move it to the next level- marriage.

I heard the story of Mary; when she met John, it was her dream for a partner came to reality. He was loving and all that is desired in a man. When
she went to her pastor to seek his counsel, he gave her some prayer points to pray about. One of them is, whatever John is hiding that only God
can reveal to her, He shouldn't let it be hidden. So she prayed and fasted about it; not long afterwards she began discovering things about John,
she got a call from a lady who told her that she was his wife. He had gotten married to her legally, yet had abandoned her and their children in
another location in the country. She discovered that when he told her, he went on business trips; it was actually to see his family.

Olufemi Fasanya
08037257479, 08083906495
Www.relationship-singles.blogspot.com