18

Formatted: Tab stops: 2.68", Left

New Budget Authority: means, with respect to a fiscal year-(i) budget authority that first becomes available for obligation in that year, including budget authority that becomes available in that year s [as] a result of a re-appropriation; or (ii) a change in any account in the availability of un-obligated balances of budget authority carried over from a prior year, resulting from a provision of law first effective in that year; and includes a change in the estimated level of new budget authority provided in indefinite amounts by existing law

With that done, I made sure my camera was working, its batteries were charged, and everything was good to go. I printed off directions to the church where the town hall was being held and headed out, sure I was finally going to make an impact. As I pulled up to the church, my heart began to hammer in my chest. Id watched several videos of angry citizens at town hall meetings across the country, and so I thought Id be in good company, but somewhere in the back of mind I couldnt shake the feeling that I was wrong. This is still rural Arkansas, I thought, these people arent likely to have read the bill. I started to feel nauseous, started to sweat, started to shake. In truth, I wanted to leave. It would be easier, I told myself, to go home and make my points from in front of my computer. People wouldnt stare at me. I wouldnt have to endure shouts and derision. I wouldnt have to have any confrontations (one of my least favorite things) or defend myself against points that I hadnt even thought of. I wouldnt fix anything anyway. I decided to park. Regular unleaded was too expensive for me to make 3 hour round trips for nothing. As I walked toward the door, a few people stared at the large bag my camera was in, slung over my shoulder. I was younger than most of them by decades. My heart hammered harder than ever.
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19 Inside, I was greeted by several nice folks working at a large table. On the table were clipboards with names, email addresses, telephone numbers, and the like. There were stacks of notecards and several markers as well. They noticed the bag and asked which news organization I was with. I replied that I wasnt with any. This seemed to surprise them, but they remained convivial, urging me to sign in and telling me it would be best if I set my camera up near the end of the middle pews. I thanked them, signed, and headed into the chapel. Ms. Nix, congressmans personal assistant, met me and introduced herself. She was pleasant as well, and I found myself feeling more at ease. I settled down, checked to make sure my camera was recording correctly, and waited for XXXX to appear. I glanced around at the other faces in the crowdmost of them were senior citizensand tried to determine who would listen to what I had to say and who would jeer. I didnt fail to notice the overabundance of police in the room, either. Coming only three months after the attempt on Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords life, I couldnt really blame their presence, but I doubted their ability to stop an attempt if one were to occurthere werent metal detectors at the doors, there werent any k-9 units, and for the most part they seemed to be milling around the back, talking to one another.
Comment [J4]: May be found offensive.

Comment [J3]: Because we removed Ms. Nixs introduction from earlier in the piece.

One lady near me asked who I worked for. I told her I was currently unemployed but was a student (Id been accepted to the MA program in Professional and Technical Writing at The University of Arkansas at Little Rock but hadnt attended yet so, whether or not I was lying Ill leave to you) to which she made a face. The camera was becoming a pain.

20 He isnt with the media, so why would he want to record this? Id told Ms. Nix it was so that friends who couldnt attend would be able to watch. Im sure that after the videos shed probably seen surrounding the other Republican town hall meetings, she was skeptical. She was right to be, though what Id told her wasnt untrue: There was only one other group of people there with a camera who werent members of the media, and their footage eventually found its way onto ThinkProgressa popular left-leaning blog. Eventually XXXX arrived, though I dont recall if it was from the front of the room or the back. I dont remember if people applauded or stood, and I wasnt recording so I cant go to the tape to refresh my memory. I wasnt prepared for what came next, but I suffered through it, I mean, hed only been nice enough to read and respond to everything Id emailed or called him about, it was only right that I do the same for him. Im speaking now of the 17 minute long presentation he gave concerning the Roadmap, his view for the future of America, biographical tidbits from his own life, bills hed sponsored/co-sponsored, and general things he wanted to change in Washington. Many of his statements were met with applause. A few were met with standing ovationsnot an easy pull from a crowd of mostly septuagenarians. Id thought I knew what it was to be nervous. I thought I knew what kind of crowd I was entering into. I hadnt had a clue.
Comment [J6]: Because we are taking an excerpt here and not the entire piece, this may have to be reworded. Readers may not catch the sarcasm here. Comment [J7]: Should this be changed for anonymity?

Comment [J5]: Will have to change to my congressman. We dont want to offend anyone. This is a good story that people can identify with regardless of political party.

I sat quietly, not applauding, and waited for the time when I would be allowed to speak. Thats what town hall meetings were about, after all: the voices of the public getting passed the email censors and secretaries and to the minds of the representatives. I bided my time.

21 Eventually, XXXX wrapped up his soliloquy. I then discovered what the easiest form of rebuttal the Republicans had learned during their conference calls was: note cards. And with that, I want to take your questions. What weve doneweve had several of you, uh, drop questions in the box here, and in the interest of time and being able to address as many as we can Im just going to reach in here in the box, and Ill read the questions that have been submitted, and when I call your name if you want to stand up so I can address you directly, that would be great. Son of a bitch, I thought.

All those nice people tending to that table outside and not a one of them mentioned the note cards to me. I had questions! I had comments! I didnt realize my concerns as a citizen, a voter, and a constituent meant that I had the honor of writing them down to be randomly drawn from a box full of what I can only assume are true sentiments. I mean, there arent any politicians in the history of this country who would be tempted to fill that box with soft ball questions or praise, right? And he wouldnt even get to all of them. So, even if I had been told by the people manning the table what I had to do to get Ricks attention, I might still not get to hear my question read in public might not get to see Ricks answer.
Comment [J8]: his Comment [J9]: my congressmans

All of my nervousness dropped away. My hands were shaking, but it was anger that made them do so. Id been auto-replied and voice-mailed to death; I wasnt about to go out like that when he was so close.

22 And regular unleaded was so expensive. Plus, I thought that maybe this was just the beginning. I thought perhaps hed go through the cards and then open it up to the floor. I mean, this was his hometownhis districtand he was on our dime; we (his constituents, not me personally) had elected him and our taxes were paying his salary so, surely he would stay until wed been satisfied to some small extent.

So, I waited, and the questions came.

There were about 25 of them that were answered. The people from the ThinkProgress video were soon the only ones in the room speaking out of turn. They yelled questions from the floor, they were shouted down by others, and they were applauded over. I felt for them. I wished Id sat nearer to them. The people applauding surrounded me like a coffin.

Somewhere near the end of the questions, I sensed that things were going to wrap up soon. I dont know how I knewperhaps the seniors were so restless to get back to their homes before they missed Wheel of Fortune that they set the pews to quivering. I didnt want to shout out, I wasnt sure that I could even if Id wanted tonervousness, fear, angerthese things were probably not a great combination for an impromptu speech. I put up my hand. I didnt know what else to do.
Comment [J10]: made the pews quiver may be more clear

XXXX saw it go up. Those around and behind me gave me looks but said nothing. I wasnt shouting out, I wasnt interrupting him. I had a question, and I wanted it answeredsimple enough.

23 He ignored it. He spoke more with the ThinkProgress people, and then it was over. He was waving and moving down the aisle. The crowd erupted into applause and cheers. People clamored to their feet and XXXX began shaking the hands of those nearest the aisle, thanking them for coming out and showing their support.
Comment [J11]: my congressman

I put my hand down. I stood. My nervousness was gone again. The anger was back, but I felt calm. He was coming towards me. I was near the aisle. He was going to make it easy. You should have waved your hand around, an older gentleman sitting behind me said, chuckling. I couldnt tell if he was belittling me or not, but I had to agree with him.

At about 45 minutes and 35 seconds into the video I hear an older lady tell him shed received his letter. I should have asked her what her secret was, but I was too busy focusing on him to bother. He was smilingthat plastered on thing that every actor and politician learns right out of the gate. He was moving, shaking hands, thanking them with a smile and a nod and a kind word or two. What a show man, I thought, it would be funny if it werent so infuriating.
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And then he was there. His hand reached out while his head was still turned towards the woman talking about her letter. He didnt realize I was the person whod raised his hand until he turned. I had a question, I said as I held his hand tight, I mean, you said that you supported, uh, the rich paying taxes

24 Hhere the audio becomes impossible to understand, but I remember my general question was if he said he supported the rich paying their fair share, then why was he voting for a bill that would lower their tax rate? The next thing I can be heard saying is, Why havent you done anything about that? What about the 15% tax rate on capital gains?

XXXX begins yanking his hand away. He moves to the next aisle, his smile firmly reappliednot many even saw it flee. Whereas average Americans pay 18%! I said, loudly over the crowd. Why should we pay more than people who are making billions of dollars a year! I yelled. An older manone of those whod applauded at the notion of defunding and doing away with the EPAusing a cane and in no way threatened by the idea of Medicare going the way of the Dodo in ten years time said angrily, You need to get your facts straight! to me as he trailed behind the congressman. Unable to control the surge of emotion coursing through merage and frustration and fear and nervousness and jubilation and the confrontation all mixed up togetherI responded with, Ive got my facts straight, sir! Yes, sir, I do! Ive read the bill unlike some people here!

25 He ignored me. He hobbled out. I turned to my camera, my last remaining ally and started to turn it off. The last line of audio is, And youre with? Asked by a lady whod sat behind me. She wanted to know which blog I worked for. I told her I was a student, the same as Id told the other person. No conspiracies here. Sorry to disappoint. Just a guy whos tired of being ignored.

I packed my camera up. No one bothered me or stopped to ask me any questions or respond to what Id said. The ThinkProgress group was involved enough dealing with their own hecklers to offer any support to me. Not that I needed it. I wasnt one of the supporters Rick had come to see, and so I became marginalized. I couldnt get an email through, couldnt get a phone call through, couldnt get a straight answer when I held the mans hand in my own. That was all the answer I needed. He wasnt my congressman. I didnt want him.

I hated him.