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 The PSYCHOLOGIST~ office. The PSYCHOLOGIST, an intelligent, well­
dressed woman in her mid-thirties, sits in a big comfortable chair, taking
Your Mother's Butt was first produced by Alarm Dog Repertory at the notes on a legal pad. Her CLIENT lies on a couch,facing away f~om her.
West Bank Cafe Downstairs Theater Bar (Rand Foerster, artistic He is young, dressed artistically.
director) in New York City, on June 6, 1990. It was directed by
Carol McCann. The cast was as follows:
CLIENT: My life is, like, so mundane. The days come, the days go.
CLIENT Barry Hamilton I keep waiting, waiting, waiting, but for what? I go to work, I
PSY CHOLOGIST Terri O'Neil eat, I work out. I watch television. I'm not really depressed.
Well, yeah, I guess I am depressed. I'm lonely. I'm easily irri­
CHARACTERS tated. But it's not the kind of overwhelming depression that
feels like it's ripping me apart. It's more of a . .. blandness, an
PSYCHOLOGIST : Woman; mid-thirties. overall. numbness ... like every fiber of my being has been '
CLIENT: A young man . sucked dry of any coherent reason to exist. (Pause.)

PSYCHOLOGIST: You're not enjoying your work?

CLIENT: Oh, God, no. Work is so weird. We're so busy right

now, and there are so many things I'm responsible for, and all
of them are meaningless. God. So much of my time is spent
worrying about bullshit, manufacturing bullshit, packaging
bullshit so it looks like it matters. Nothing matters.

PSYCHOLOGIST : Nothing?

CLIENT: (Suddenly angry.) Nothing. And if it does, it just fucks you

up. (Pause.)

17
18 Alan Ball YOUR MOTHER'S BUTT I9

PSYCHOLOGIST: So nothing in your life matters to you? (Pause.

tremendously shallow, and at worst, it's sociopathic. I
1I1.1 1's
The CLIENT fights back tears.)
if I was somebody else and I knew me, I would say
1111'.\11,
IIIok, get a life.
CLIENT: No. (Pause. The CLIE NT cries.) I have- (It is too painfulfor
him to say; he 'takes a moment, then tries again.) I have this
I IJOLOGIST : I think perhaps you're being a bit hard on yourself.
sweater.
! You're right. God, I am so fucked up. I've got to do
I II INT:
PSYCHOLOGIST : A sweater?
~ <l lllething
about this, I can't be this fucked up anymore.
What can I do? Tell me what to do. You 're the expert.
CLIENT: It's really nice. It's this old sweater, I think it belonged to
my brother. It's just this black V-neck sweater, wool, but it's
I' \ VI ' I! OLOG IST : Well, first, I think we need to take a look at why
faded and soft and it fits me really well, it accentuates my
you are so hard on yourself. (Pause.)
shoulders, but, like, in a subtle way, and when I wear it, I feel
really sexy
i I IJ INT: (Sighs.) Okay. (Long pause.)
PSYCHOLOGIST: It sounds like a nice sweater.
i' W I;HOLOGIST: How are you feeling?
CLIE NT : It is. (He breaks down.) I'm sorry, I just-
I I I "NT: Excited.

PSYCHOLOGIST : Take your time. (Pause.)

I'WCHOLOG IST : Excited?
CLIENT : The reason I'm crying is that you ask me does anything
I IIENT : Yeah. I'm thinking about this pair of shoes I saw yes­
really matter to me and my answer is a sweater. That's really sad.
Ic.:rday.

PSYCHOLOGIST: You have every right to find joy in a sweater.

I", YCHOLOGIST: Shoes?
CLIENT: I do, that's the weird part, it's like the only thing in my
I I lJ iNT:Yeah: I've been looking for the perfect pair of black
life I get excited abo~t . Sometimes I put it on just to walk
shoes for . .. well, probably for my whole life. You know, a
around in it, and then sometimes I forget that I've done laun­
pair of oxfords, just plain, nice leather; not too clunky, but
dry and I go to pick out something to wear, and there it is, all
1I0t too Wall Street, either. The kind of shoes you can wear
clean and soft and faded just a little bit more, all folded up,
with a suit and look really hip, but you can also wear with
and it's, like, primal, like, maybe even religious. (Pause.)
blue jeans and look really . .. intelligent.
PSYCHOLOGIST: How are you feeling?
I",Y CHOLOGIST: Intelligent.
CLIENT: How do you think I'm feeling? The only significant
I t rENT : But also approachable. And politically correct. With a
relationship in my life is with a piece of clothing? At best,
sense of humor.
20 Alan Ball YOUR MOTHER'S BUTT 21

PSYCHOLOGIST: Shoes seem to communicate quite a lot for you .

PSYCHOLOGIST: Let's just say, for ' argument's sake, that your
CLIENT: Oh, yeah. Definitely. I think there's two ways to learn a refrigerator was white.
lot about somebody in a short amount of time. One is their
CLI ENT: Okay.
refrigerator-not·oply what they stick on the front of it, but
what'slin it, too-and the other is their shoes.
PSYCHOLOGIST: (Taking time, setting mood.) A cold, white, empty
PSYCHOLOGIST: (A hunch.) What's in your refrigerator? box ... possibly a source of nourishment, but also a potential
death trap. (Pause.)
CLIENT: Well, nothing right now.
CLIENT: Cool. (Pause.)
PSYCHOLOGIST: Ah.
PSYCHOLOGIST: How are you feeling?
CLIENT: These shoes are the greatest shoes-I think.
CLIENT: Weird. I think I just figured out what I really want.
PSYCHOLOGIST: Let's stay with the image of the empty refriger­
PSYCHOLOGIST: What?
ator for a moment.

CLIENT: Why? CLIENT: What I really want is to do the entire kitchen over
in all black, with all black appliances . . . but that really
PSYCHOLOGIST: I have an idea it might be significant. scares me.

PSYCHOLOGIS'C Why?
CLIENT: Okay.

PSYCHOLOGIST: Just try to picture it. An empty box ... cold ... CLIENT: Because in a few years, having had everything in your
white ... apartment be all black is going to ,be like having worn , a
leisure suit is today. It's going to be one of those things you'll
CLIENT: No, my refrigerator is avocado. (Pause. The PSYCHOLO.,. have to constantly deny. You know, like I never voted for
GIST seems disappointed.) Reagan, I was never a yuppie. (A long pause.)

PSYCHOLOGIST: Oh. PSYCHOLOGIST: Perhaps we should return to the shoes.

CLIENT: Which I really hate, because all the other appliances in
my kitchen are harvest gold. Which I also hate, but I just
haven't decided if I'm committed enough to this apartment
to redecorate yet.
CLIENT: Okay. (Pause.) I don't know. They might be the right
ones, they might not. They're really expensive. I don't want
to spend that much money and have them not be the perfect
shoes! (Suddenly angry.) God, why does everything always
have to be so hard? '
 :.!:!. Alan Ball YOUR MOTHER'S BUTT 23

PSYCHOLOGIST: Go ahead. Try to get in touch with this anger.

CLIENT: Sometimes I wish somebody would just tell me what to
do, you know? They would just say, Look, this is what you
need to do, so Just shut up and do it, okay? Because I don't
seem to be able to figure it out on my own. It's like every
option makes sense to me. Every choice seems like the right
choice. Now, granted, I think being open-minded is a good
thing, but there's such a thing as belng too open-minded. Like
your mind is so open it just kind of ... leaves.
PSYCHOLOGIST : Well, first, I think we need to look at the ways
in which your indecision keeps you scife-­
CLIENT: Oh, shut up! Just shut up! God! Stop telling me.what to
do! (Looks at her, horrified, then bursts into tears.) Oh, God, I'm
sorry! (A very long pause.)
PSYCHOLOGIST: How are you feeling?
CLIENT: I feel ... well, I'm not sure what I feel. J need to ask you
a question. (Pause.)
PSYCHOLOGIST: Were you ever .. . what association does the
word belt carry for you?
(:UENT: Ostrich.
PSYCHOLOGIST: Ostrich: A flightless bird, known primarily for
sticking its head in the ground in resp~)Use to perceived dan­
ger­
<;LIENT :No, I used to have these Eurotrash slip-on shoes, made
out of ostrich skin? They were queer, but they were so
incredibly soft. I just wanted to touch them all the time, even
though I hardly ever wanted to wear them. So can you imag­
ine a belt made out of ostrich skin, the softest stuff in the
entire world? It would be like, intense.
PSYCHOLOGIST: Let me put it another way. When you were a
child and your parents felt they needed to punish you for a
perceived transgression ...
CLIENT: Oh, did they, like, beat me?

PSYCHOLOGIST: All right. PSYCHOLOGIST: Did they?

CLIENT : And this is not real easy for me, okay? (Pause.) Do you CLIENT: Well, sure, but not with a belt. With a switch.
know where I can get a braided leather belt, about half an
inch thick, black leather, not shiny, for under thirty dollars? PSYCHOLOGIST: Who?

PSYCHOLOGIST: A belt? CLIENT: A switch. From a tree.

CLIENT: Yeah. I have such bad luck with belts. PSYCHOLOGIST: Who used the switch?

PSYCHOLOGIST: A belt? CLIENT: Well, my mother. Of course.

CLIENT: Yes. (Pause.) PSYCHOLOGIST: Ah.(Pause.) How are you feeling?

 24 Alan Ball YOUR MOTHER'S BUTT 25

CLIENT: Weird. just remembered ... oh, I had this weird

dream. i I II INT: Warm. But not hot.

PSYCHOLOGIST: Tell me about it. 1", VC' 1l0LOGIST: And she comes in.

i I II! NT: Yeah, and she's walking this swingy, hippy kind of walk,
CLIENT: I dreamed ... I dreamed I was in this ... house, it
.llId I think oh, God, my mother: I'm so embarrassed.
wasn't my house, but I lived there. And I was in this big room,
and I was in this bathtub. This old-fashioned bathtub on
I" IYCHOLOGIST: And she gets in the tub ...
pedestals. And I'm wearing clothes. This olive drab cardigan,
just over a T-shirt, and these flax-colored, I guess, linen
I I lENT: You can tell she think's she's really groovy.
shorts. No pleats. Really nice. Well, they would be, wouldn't
they? Dream clothes. And then I hear these voices in the hall
I".YCHOLOGIST: Now she's in the water with you ...
and in comes my mother. Only she's a younger version of
herself, and she's wearing these 1960s hip-huggers, and she
I Yeah ~ And she is wearing the most hideous Barbie, like,
I I ENT:
has Mary Tyler Moore hair that she's tied a bandanna around,
flower power outfit.
and I think oh, she's trying to be hip, and it's really sort of sad
for a moment . . . then she gets in the bathtub with me, only
I' SYCHOLOGIST : She's turning around.
she won't look at me, and then she bends over and ... she just
sticks her butt in my face.
"I.I ENT: She looks like Samantha Stevens on acid.
PSYCHOLOGIST: (Scribbling furiously.) This is really good.
I'SYCHOLOGIST: She's bending over.
CLIENT: And I'm thinking . . . okay. This is kind of weird. This
"I.IENT: With this macrame belt. I am not kidding you.
is some weird kind of fuck-you gesture, and I'm thinking . . .
this is really ... it's really not quite right ... it's really ...
I'SYCHOLOGIST: She's bending-
PSYCHOLOGIST: Inappropriate?
CLIENT : Oh, wait a minute! I just realized something. Oh, wow.
CLIENT : It's more than that .. . Oh, God, what is it? (Pause.)

PSYCHOLOGIST: Visualize the dream. I'SYCHOLOGIST: Yes?

CLI ENT: Right. CLIENT : It makes such perfect sense, doesn't it.

PSYCHOLOGIST: You're in the water ... Is the water warm or PSYCHOLOGIST: What does?
cold?
CLIENT: I get my bad belt luck from her. It's heredity. (Long pause.)
26 Alan Ball YOUR MOTHER'S BUTT 27

PSYCHOLOGIST: (Just the slightest bit of tighiness. ) How are you

CLIENT: I'm sorry?
feeling?
PSYCHOLOGIST: Speak to your mother's butt.
CLIENT: . I feel great! If it's hereditary, then I don't have to feel
guilty for it. I hav~ no control over it, so it's not my fault .
CLIENT: Oh, right.
Right?
PSYCHOLOGIST : Think of it as separate from your mother. As an
PSYCHOLOGIST: Well, not exactly, no. One of the underlying
entity of its own. If you could communicate with it, what
assumptions that the therapeutic process is based upon is .that
would you say?
ybu do have control over your life.
CLIENT: Get out of my face.
C LIENT : No thanks. I don't want that kind of responsibility.
(Pause. )
PSYCHOLOGIST : Perhaps it ,vvould be helpful if you gave it a
name.
PSYCHOLOGIST : I'd like to get back to your mother's butt.
CLIENT : What do you mean?
CLIENT: Please. Be my guest.
PSYCHOLOGIST : If it had a name, what would it be?
PSYCHOLOGIST : It's such a strong image, with so many potential
implications. It q mld open many doors. So I'd like to try
CLIENT: You mean like a person's name?
something a little ... unorthodox.
PSYCHOLOGIST : Possibly.
CLIENT: Oh, no. You 're not going to stick your butt in my face,
are you?
C LIENT : Like ... Debbie?
PSYCHOLOGIST: No, no. I just want you to close your eyes, and
PSYCHOLOGIST: Perhaps.
relax. Feel the warm water in the tub. Now try to picture
your mother's butt.
CLIENT: This is really weird.
CLIENT: Okay.
PSYCHOLOGIST : Just try speaking to it by name.
PSYCHOLOGIST: Do you see it?
CLIENT:Get out of my face, Debbie. Excuse me, Debbie, can
you get out of my face? Thank you. Yo, Debbie. Get the fuck
CLIENT: Plain as day.
out of my face.
PSYCHOLOGIST: Now speak to it.
PSYCHOLOGIST: Maybe you'd like to yell at it.
28 Alan Ball YOUR MOTHER'S BUTT 29

CLIENT: Sure, why not. (Yells.) Debbie! Get the fuck out of my
PSYCHOLOGIST: Don't hold back! Tell that butt how you are feel­
face, you bitch! And take that hideous macrame belt with
ing!
you!
CLIENT: (Loses it.) God! Shut up! Get out of my fucking face, get
PSYCHOLOGIST: Now become the butt.
out of my fucking bathtub, get out of my fucking life, you
fucking butt! I hate you, I hate you, I hate your fucking guts!
CLIENT: What?
(He sobs uncontrollably. Long pause.)
PSYCHOLOGIST: If you were the butt, what would you say ir:
PSYCHOLOGIST: How are you feeling now?
response?
CLIENT: I feel like the biggest asshole in the universe. I'm never
CLIENT: Uhm, I'm Debbie the l;mtt, and you better shut up. Stop
telling you another dream again. But ... oh, wow. Wow. This
telling me what to do. This is a free country and I can be
is intense.
wherever I want. If you don't like me being in your face, then
you leave.
PSYCHOLOGIST: What?
PSYCHOLOGIST: Now respond as yourself.
CLIENT: Have you ever been hit with; like, this realization, it's,
like, something you always knew, but it's the first time you've
CLIENT: Fuck you, you stupid butt. I was here first.
ever really seen it so clearly? Oh this is so weird, it's like deja vu.
PSYCHOLOGIST: Keep going.
PSYCHOLOGIST: What? (The CLIENT sits up and looks at her.)
CLIENT: Oh yeah, well ... fuck you back.
CLIENT: (With great resolve.) I don't care how expensive they are,
I'm buying those shoes!
PSYCHOLOGIST : Keep going.
(Blackout. )
CLIENT: I'm confused. Am I me or am I the butt?
END OF PLAY
PSYCHOLOGIST: Keep going!

CLIENT: But-

PSYCHOLOGIST: Don't turn away from this! We're right on the

verge of something!

CLIENT: Um-