Assignment 2 1.

SELF ASSESSMENT:

Jason Davidson

A. I answered each question truthfully and honestly, my overall score was 80. I was a little taken back by this score, communications is one of the areas I really thought i exceled in. I still think I do pretty well but there is obviously room for improvement. 80 is not a terrible score but i really thought that i would score in the upper ranges of excellent communication skills. i am humbled but the results. B. one example of my communication weaknessess is that when i am listening in an intense conversation i am preparing for what i am going to say. I feel like I am listening to the other person but now I realize how in affective that really is. There is now way i can do both things affectively at the same time. As i think back just the other day i did this. i was in a heated conversation and i was building my response to this person while they were in the middle of talking. no wonder that conversation did not go so well, i was not truly listening. an example of one communication strength would be that i convey my message clearly, forcefully, and with precise meaning. I work with the Boy Scouts, kids ages 14-15. the other day we held a planning meaning and i was clear in describing what the peramitters were for the activities we were planning. they boys understood lcearly and were able to plan several actvities fast and effitiantly. C. Three strategies i could use to improve my communication are tone of voice, become a better listener, and strategies for conflict resolution. tone of voice which falls under non verbal communication is an area that i need to be more cognesent of. Even when my message is positive and happy it can be interpreted as something else if my tone of voice is elevated and animated. when i am frustrated, displeased or any other negative feeling toward a

conversation it is very noticable in my tone. As I stated earlier i thought i would have scored better on my communication assessment, i see that being a better listener is one of the strategies i can focus on to improve my overall comunication skills. i can do a better job at showing sympathy or empathy, when i am moe interested in planning my respnse than listening it never goes well. i can also work on not wanting to "set the person straight" if I disagree with them, let them own their own opinion. finally I can use the strategies for conflict resolution. sometimes an arguement can go around and around that you dont even know what you are arguing about anymore, identifieing the problem will be helpful to solve this. i think i do well enough with the rest of the suggestion in this strategy. i have noticed that sometimes the conflict does not need a solution, the other person just needs me to listen.

2. RESPONSIBLE SEXUALITY:
The suggestions I thought of are geared for a couple about to be married who have abstained from sex up to this point in their lives. Peoples thoughts and feeling are different depending on how you were raised etc. The scenario I have described is the exact situation my wife and I were in when we got married. This can be difficult for some couples to approach. First the couple needs to know that it is ok to find joy in this activity. They have avoided it for so many years it is hard to tell yourself that it is ok now. Acknowledging that you are a sexual person(pg.90) is a truth for all people even if you dont or havent engage in the activity. Those feelings are natural and normal. I would tell them now they are doing it for the right reasons; your getting married and it is normal to feel this way about someone you love. Sex should be related to love (pg. 86). To go along with acknowledging, I would also add

good communication (pg. 90) is key to having not just the first sexual experience but also a lifetime of good sexual experiences together. Communication as a foundation not only addresses sex but all aspects of life. Good communication is not an instant process it will take time, work, and patience. My second suggestion would be to realize that sex is not like the movies. There is such thing as sexual dysfunction. Most young people do not deal with a lot of these things but for someone who has never had sex it is important to know that there can be phobias, premature ejaculation, orgasmic disorders, anxiety, and even pain (pg. 88). I would tell them that this is a private matter and that you can grow together and learn from any of these experiences. As a couple it is part of your responsibility to work through such issues to not leave one or the other feeling less than in the relationship. Be aware and dont worry about it, let nature take its course and it will all work out. My third suggestion would be make a family plan. Now that you are going to be sexually active you must also be responsible with what sex can produce. If having children right off is not in your best interest than it is smart to have a plan in place to prevent unintended pregnancy (pg86).

3. BECOMING A PARENT:
Three factors that go into the decision to have a baby are: emotional health, physical health, and finances. Emotional health is very important aspect of having children. One must consider why they want a child? Feelings of obligation are not a good reason. The sacrifices involved with rearing a child will quickly wear on someone who has a child out of obligation; they may end up resenting the child and not care for it properly. Emotionally a person should be willing to forgo things for

themselves to take care of their child. A large sacrifice a father and mother make is giving up time. Are you willing to give a majority of your time to the nurturing of this little one who cannot do anything for them self? Emotional health is a good factor to consider before having a child. Physical health is also a very good factor to assess before having children. Women can have an exam done by a physician to see if there are any potential complications and if you are considered healthy enough to carry a child. Genetic disorders and other disease can be discussed at this time. Paternal health should also be examined along with maternal health. Toxic chemicals can damage sperm and can cause disorders in children. An example of such chemicals is byproducts of cigarette smoke. Men should quit smoking if they want to have children. Finances are the third factor to examine when making a decision to have children. Much like emotional sacrifice having children is a financial sacrifice as well. Consider how much it is going to cost for prenatal care and to provide for your child after they are born. There are plenty of hidden costs so to speak that many future parents may not have considered because they just dont know about it. Health care needs, insurance, school, saving for college, extra curricular activities, and the list can go on. I am not suggesting you have all of these things set in stone before you have a child but they are very important to discuss with your spouse. Specific things like prenatal care, birthing cost, immediate needs of the child after birth, and the first year of life are all things that should be planned and mapped. Do both parents work? If so, who will care for the child while working and how much will that cost? Are you making sufficient money to provide for an extra person? Finances are super important to consider because financial troubles are the leading cause of divorce. It would be sad to bring a child into the world with the odds of having the family result in divorce.

4. SOCIAL SCIENCE:

Three examples of how social and cultural factors influence sexual practices are education, social class, and religion. The underlying theme in all of these factors is choice. Every person has a choice when it comes to what there sexual practices are. Education: Certain practices are not accepted in our society such as rape and incest. Laws and policies have been put in place to punish a person who chooses to act in such a manner. In our culture and society we understand that these practices are harmful psychologically, emotionally, physically and can damage a person in such a way they may never function normally in society. Public health services have been created for victims of such crimes to receive the help they need. Environment certainly plays into the choice that a person makes to rape someone. Society is sending mixed signals to a degree by the amount of pornography, prostitution, and violence Americans seem to think is acceptable. If you do not agree with that, just watch public television, not even cable, or examine the movies playing at the theatre. To me there is no wonder why people act out in these heinous crimes. You become what you think about. Education about sexual practices logically leads to people making more responsible choices. Responsible choices result in better reproductive health by limiting disease. Just a simple class on contraception can make a huge difference. Some underserved populations may not have access to or even want education about sexual practices. The united states has plenty of opportunities available for education if you want it but environment, disparities, and personal choice play a large roll in what a person will do. Social class: I want to break down social class into a class Ill call the popular culture class. This class has tweens, teens, college students, adults; married and single and even the elderly. The popular culture class may have the largest impact on

sexual practices on the planet because it has no boarders or disparities. Turn on the television, listen to the latest songs, watch the news, we are inundated with MEDIA and pretty much everyone has access to it. What the media says is cool is accepted and is called the new normal. There are reality shows called 16 and pregnant, almost glorifying young girls who are pregnant out of wedlock. Another called the bachelor, which insults the sanctity of marriage and turns it into a game show. This is now deemed acceptable and cool. The most powerful thing is that everyone has a choice. You do not have to buy into it, or watch it, but if the environment in which you live promotes it, most people will follow suite. Laws exist still in the United States against adultery and fornication. These laws are not enforced anymore. Society has deemed cohabitation, homosexuality, and staying single as the new normal. The popular culture class seems to found relationships on lust and jealousy and feature people with low self-esteem. These attributes over time have altered many of our young peoples perception of what is good. Popular culture influences sexual practices by redefining what normal is. Then, all the people who fall in this mainstream class follow suite. Religion: Religion Influences sexual practices and reproduction health. Most religions as part of their core beliefs define marriage and when and with whom sexual relations should be had. Just the opposite of popular culture where anything goes, religion defines what is acceptable and you are accountable to a higher power. Similarly to the other factors list above we all have a choice, no one can take that away from you. Environment is huge in this sense; if your immediate family pertains to a certain church you are more likely to attend the same one. Many religions have services available to educate and assist people with adoption, marital problems or other relationship issues. All of these resources will influence a person regarding their sexual practices. Many religions promote having children and to establish a solid foundation of

communication and trust. I know for example the LDS church discourages against premarital sex and exclusiveness in dating. The LDS church also teaches about healthy relationships and encourages young people to look for those attributes you would want in a spouse while dating. Passion, commitment, and sexual intimacy are to be reserved for marriage. Sex is not condemned; it is actually promoted, if practiced under certain criteria. Religion is probably next in line to popular culture for influence in sexual practices.