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Essay Reflections

Notes on what went well, what needs work, and what to keep in mind for next time!

Awesome Attention Getters!


All women have a spark inside them. A spark that ignites when they do something incredible to change their life,or even the world Did you know that 19% of congress is female? from the images of cavemen and the classification of hunters and gatherers, we can trace back a division of labor between males and females Football, boxing, weightlifting, hunting and gun shooting all have one thing in common: theyre perceived by society as masculine Imagine everyone lived in a world where they couldnt make decisions for themselves. Someone was always telling them what to do, where to go, who to talk to

Steer away from cliche or common examples (especially ones we used in class, unless you have more or something new to say) This didnt hurt grades, as long as you were still original, but its more impressive and more likely to bump your grade up if you use a unique example -not just regurgitating something weve talked about often.

Creative Evidence/Sources!

Also be specific! Its easy to argue that women are important.

!! Hilary Clinton, Womens Suffrage - still good examples, but move toward originality, or say something more specific about something or someone.

!! Dont use an example like Mad Men if you dont watch the show! Pick something YOURE interested in :) It shows through powerfully.

!! Same thing when talking about Nora: The fact that she was stepping out of the restrictions on women to achieve personal enlightenment proved her to be a headstrong individual, which was more commonly found in males at the time this is-unique analysis - not just Torvalds holding her back (but thats still good analysis)

Creative Examples
-With Rosa Parks being powerful and strong making this decision and overall making society better, Dr. Martin Luther king kept leading the civil rights movement and also made change in this historical movement. This shows that not only as the iconic woman in this time changing society, but so did the man. -Real story behind Mary Poppins -Mozarts sister apparently his sister was an awesome musician too. (but no one cared)

More Examples:
!! -Tina Fey: Tina Feys professional career shows how she used both her feminine qualities and adopted some masculine qualities to achieve success in the comedy industry !! Britains battle strategy would not sway the U.S. because now their needs were more important than pleasing others - using US Revolution. !! Gender-applicable societal norms are especially prominent when applied to transgender people, such as Sonny and Chers son Chaz bono. !! Malala

What do your examples have in common? Tie them together, and your argument is more solid.
!! Similar to Mozarts sister, Franklin needed to overcome the additional adversity that comes with being a woman. both women would have been recognized as among the best in their respective fields, but due to societys refusal to accept womens work, they remain widely unrecognized

Connect Multiple Evidence Pieces

!! Like Nora, Rosa acquired the power for herself instead of idling about and letting it be delivered to her

Concluding Sentence In EACH Paragraph


.....(evidence, blah blah, more evidence) Both examples show that they both can rely on someone for so long, but in the end, they need to do whats right for them and not the other way around

(paragraph with lots of info about Nora and the weird interactions btwn her and Torvy).......The daily interactions between Nora and Torvald clearly depict the stereotypical misconceptios that men make about women

Nice Transitions. Great job on this - most paragraphs had a nice little in
conclusion or secondly or for example going on. Good improvement.

Introducing Background Info About Author/Speaker


Powerful! Adds credit to the quote and your argument. Only a few people did this - look up your source and see what about them might add to your argument.

famous musician John legend

Return to the quote


*Even use the language! This shows that Nora cares very much about Torvald and is willing to risk herself to take the opportunity to seize power and save his life. This relates to what Barr said because Nora doesnt sit around and let the power be handed to her, if at all. She takes the chance and takes charge of the situation

Speaking of Language!
It adds pizzazz! You dont have to go nuts with a thesaurus, but thesaurus.com can be helpful take the time to strengthen words, and eventuall youll learn new ones too!

!! Reading higher-level books helps you learn words naturally.

Examples:
Negative gender stereotypes have hindered women by reducing choices and opportunities. Women need to accept their own identity - not flawed perceptions of competence. If anyone is to reach their full potential, our society needs to continue eliminating these distortions

Eventually, her husband Torvald becomes infuriated with her furtive actions and rebukes her for disobeying his commands Vs: Later, her man Torvald gets mad at her guilty actions and yells at her for not listening to him. Not as strong, right?

Rhetorical Questions?!? Nice Touch!!


What if an African woman had the potential to discover the cure for cancer, but she was not able to discover it because she was denied an education?

So how much power do women really have? It all depends on the amount of effort they put in

Why is this number so low? (women in military)

Concluding Paragraph? Have one! Theyre Awesome!


Can be brief! Aint nobody got time for a huge conclusion! Still. hit the main points: *State your thesis/point, *Recap your evidence (specifically, not just all these examples), * And leave us thinking

Conclusion Example:
In conclusion, women like Laura Ingalls Wilder, Elizabeth Garrett Anderson, and Nora inspired women around the globe to pursue their dreams, no matter what challenges stand in their way. Even though women have not had many opportunities in the past, they were able to carve their own pathways to success. The spark of empowerment that ignites in women will lead to pure happiness and fulfillment. Its womens turn to create their own stories, despite the hand that is holding them back!

Work on Citations & The Little Things.


!! Authors last name or title of article - most often in citation !! Italicize play title

!! Look up how to do MLA citations.. The internet is your friend..

Final push or food for thought


Last sentences: Generalizations arent easy to change because we are confronted with them all the time, but that doesnt mean they cant or shouldnt be Personality does not cater to gender, nor does gender cater to personality-individuals are, as it sounds, individual, and should be treated as such So the question still remains, will the standard ever change towards opportunities women can take while in committed relationships? Women and men should work together in order for everyone to be equally free, so women can break the barriers that keep them from independence In the end, although Google is an original gossip, she is proud to be a genius woman (connecting theme from intro)

Overall, I was super impressed.


AWESOME Job. -Great analysis of the plays, especially A Dolls House - which is tough! -You guys really got explored the themes well & utilized unique writers voice. -Keep it up, & keep expanding the areas you might have struggled with.

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