Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Notes on what went well, what needs work, and what to keep in mind for next time!
Steer away from cliche or common examples (especially ones we used in class, unless you have more or something new to say) This didnt hurt grades, as long as you were still original, but its more impressive and more likely to bump your grade up if you use a unique example -not just regurgitating something weve talked about often.
Creative Evidence/Sources!
!! Hilary Clinton, Womens Suffrage - still good examples, but move toward originality, or say something more specific about something or someone.
!! Dont use an example like Mad Men if you dont watch the show! Pick something YOURE interested in :) It shows through powerfully.
!! Same thing when talking about Nora: The fact that she was stepping out of the restrictions on women to achieve personal enlightenment proved her to be a headstrong individual, which was more commonly found in males at the time this is-unique analysis - not just Torvalds holding her back (but thats still good analysis)
Creative Examples
-With Rosa Parks being powerful and strong making this decision and overall making society better, Dr. Martin Luther king kept leading the civil rights movement and also made change in this historical movement. This shows that not only as the iconic woman in this time changing society, but so did the man. -Real story behind Mary Poppins -Mozarts sister apparently his sister was an awesome musician too. (but no one cared)
More Examples:
!! -Tina Fey: Tina Feys professional career shows how she used both her feminine qualities and adopted some masculine qualities to achieve success in the comedy industry !! Britains battle strategy would not sway the U.S. because now their needs were more important than pleasing others - using US Revolution. !! Gender-applicable societal norms are especially prominent when applied to transgender people, such as Sonny and Chers son Chaz bono. !! Malala
What do your examples have in common? Tie them together, and your argument is more solid.
!! Similar to Mozarts sister, Franklin needed to overcome the additional adversity that comes with being a woman. both women would have been recognized as among the best in their respective fields, but due to societys refusal to accept womens work, they remain widely unrecognized
!! Like Nora, Rosa acquired the power for herself instead of idling about and letting it be delivered to her
(paragraph with lots of info about Nora and the weird interactions btwn her and Torvy).......The daily interactions between Nora and Torvald clearly depict the stereotypical misconceptios that men make about women
Nice Transitions. Great job on this - most paragraphs had a nice little in
conclusion or secondly or for example going on. Good improvement.
Speaking of Language!
It adds pizzazz! You dont have to go nuts with a thesaurus, but thesaurus.com can be helpful take the time to strengthen words, and eventuall youll learn new ones too!
Examples:
Negative gender stereotypes have hindered women by reducing choices and opportunities. Women need to accept their own identity - not flawed perceptions of competence. If anyone is to reach their full potential, our society needs to continue eliminating these distortions
Eventually, her husband Torvald becomes infuriated with her furtive actions and rebukes her for disobeying his commands Vs: Later, her man Torvald gets mad at her guilty actions and yells at her for not listening to him. Not as strong, right?
So how much power do women really have? It all depends on the amount of effort they put in
Conclusion Example:
In conclusion, women like Laura Ingalls Wilder, Elizabeth Garrett Anderson, and Nora inspired women around the globe to pursue their dreams, no matter what challenges stand in their way. Even though women have not had many opportunities in the past, they were able to carve their own pathways to success. The spark of empowerment that ignites in women will lead to pure happiness and fulfillment. Its womens turn to create their own stories, despite the hand that is holding them back!