Hailey Miles Jessica Camargo ENGL 1102 April 23, 2014

Formal Rewrite In the United States most citizens have personal cars and those who do not usually live in cities and use a public transportation system, walk or bike to work. Only about 9 percent of the world owns cars in the United States however they are a necessity. .I asked my Grandfather what it was like for him before he had his own personal mode of transportation. There was a lot of walking, he said, They did have school buses so we didnt have to walk to school when we were older. He went ahead and talked about how his family had to grow most of their own food since going to the market was near impossible. Also, how his father had the only car in the neighborhood so he drove his neighbors to the store when needed. Growing up in this type of environment my grandfather was used to living without personal transportation so when he was older he lived without a car until he was married with a child on the way. This is the mentality that Third World countries have toward cars, you cannot miss something you have never had. Third-World countries have adapted to serve people without transportation by using mobile facilities. These cars and truck are designed to bring services to people in rural areas. The purpose ranges from food services to sexual education and health care. These trucks can reach hundreds of people that would be impossible without them. Most of the roads in developing countries are mostly dirt paths that have been walked down by the natives. Some cars are driven on these roads, but the people with cars are not regulated and cause thousands of crashes every

year. This provides another issue for the truck operators and limits the people that can be reached with these trucks. The long walking trips to the markets and water facilities have contributed the decrease in cooked meals and nutrition levels in the natives. Among children under five years in Kenya, 34.8% are stunted, 6.7% are wasted, while 4.7% are overweight; and 5.6% of infants are born with low birth weight. (Ellis, S D) . As a result of this more intense farming techniques have been implemented, which has increased the deforestation rate making the walk to obtain firewood for cooking and warmth longer.

Reflection
I tried to focus on avoiding fluff and using loaded language. I did this because I used a lot of fluff in my paper and I told my opinion about every aspect of my paper. I think the edited piece is different from the original in the aspect that it is more specific and what I am trying to say is clearer. I will probably incorporate the avoiding using fluff into my final draft. I am accustom to writing technical papers. I am more comfortable with writing papers based on nothing but facts and no personal emotions, so this paper is extremely different then my normal.