Conner 1 Conesia Conner Professor Rand English 1102-021 February 17, 2014 The Grumbling Coach of West Forsyth

Asleep I lay, dreaming, cuddled with my pillow, until I am awakened with a blast coming from my alarm clock, set for six oclock in the morning. I knew that the cold weather and the date on the calendar I looked at on my cell phone notified me that basketball season was in full swing. I was so excited to try out for my first year of varsity basketball, especially at the high school Chris Paul attended, West Forsyth. So as I began getting dressed for school, all I could think about was basketball tryouts and if I was good enough to join the varsity team and to able to wear the beautiful green and gold uniform. During school, time passed so quickly I remembered the bell ringing and I hastily rushed to the gyms locker rooms and got dressed out, ready for the drills to begin. I was so nervous as I sat stretching waiting for 4:30 p.m. to roll around. My palms were sweating as my heart pumped twice as fast as usual. The only thing that kept me sane was having friends try out with me, so I had extra support with the familiar faces surrounding me. Heres where the story really begins; the time I met the notorious varsity coach, Mrs. Quick. Her name was Laquanda Quick, the coach that turned basketball from a sport, a hobby into a battle, for me and my future. She played for the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and went to play professional basketball in the WNBA, so all I could instantly think about her despite the rumors was out of respect and admiration, because thats exactly what I wanted for myself. Tryouts began, and all I could feel was the sweat from my face drip down onto my

Conner 2 tee shirt little by little. Hustle ladies, hustle, is what I could hear. All the past players from the team attended summer workouts and were in shape, sadly I did not attend due to a job I had received at a nursing home. Therefore while running suicides, and running the full court in ten seconds, I couldnt help but to be the last person up and down the court huffing and puffing, gasping for air. Of course Mrs. Quick noticed my failure and repeatedly said, Dont come to my tryouts and expect to make it, if you didnt even show up to one summer workout. She knows what it takes to get to college for basketball as well as playing on a professional womens team. Therefore I feel as though her intent was not out to get or bully anyone, rather she was there to make everyone better as basketball players. My view on the whole situation is that I see things as if she was only trying to be caring and show me as well as others what I should have been doing in practice to perform well on other teams in my future. Although I did not have a close relationship with my coach as I would have wanted, I think that she was placed in my life to make me realize that maybe basketball was not meant for me and for me to go college and put my main focus on my career path of becoming a successful dentist. All I could think in response to her rude comment was, Basketball is not my whole life, and Id rather make money then workout. I could have made it to one of the workouts but I really was not sure if I wanted to put full commitment into playing varsity basketball and it didnt seem fair for her to call out those who did not get to attended summer workouts without knowing the circumstances. So as tryouts pressed on, I went home every day sore and aching due to the impact and intensity of the tryouts. Continuously for five days, practicing had finally ended and it was time to reveal the upcoming team. As my friends walked into the room awaiting their fate, they came out saddened and disappointed because they did not get an innovation on the team. Conesia! As I heard the assistant coach call my name, I got up slowly and gathered

Conner 3 my belongings to walk in the room to hopefully hear the good news Ive been waiting for. My palms began to sweat and my heart seemed to drop down to my stomach as my new coaches told me I had made the team. I went home and made my friends and family ecstatic about the good news I received and been working so hard for had paid off. The next day came about, which was the first day of practice. All I could remember was whistles blowing, sneakers moving across the court, and my sweat dropping to the floor, from my exhaustion. Practice increasingly got intense and I saw myself slacking and falling behind. When I discovered this, my coaches did as well. Mrs. Quick was ironically quick to call me out for simple mistakes I made and it seemed as though I was the only one to receive the scolding for the mishaps I made in practice. Everyone isnt perfect as most people know, but I saw it bias for her to pick on me continuously throughout each practice. I felt like Mrs. Quick used me as the example of what not to do. My teammates were praised for the positive things they did and it seemed that their mistakes were overlooked constantly by the coaches. I wanted to even call all the trainers out and the best players for the mistakes they so happened to overlook. Every workout from that day forward became a living hell for me. From the soreness, to the yelling, harsh criticism, and to being treated like an outcast, how could anyone be okay and accept this type of treatment? I felt like a little child bullied for the lack of ability my coach saw in me and the lack of effort she exclaimed I was missing in practice. I could not help but to hate practicing, disliking my coaches, and even my arrogant teammates, who never took the time to check on me and make sure I was okay. While practicing the star players always passed the ball to each other and out of basketball they formed small cliques. They would hang out, go on vacations and parties together but never invited anyone else out of the starting five group, which made me feel like I was not part of the team. I believe during the basketball season, I wanted to fit in and be

Conner 4 very athletic, as most kids were within the in crowd. My perspective changed over time because I could now realize that my coach more than likely, only wanted to see me succeeded and improve throughout the season. I guess her method of tough love was to push me harder and she knew that I was sensitive and her scolding and yelling would get under my skin. Although I do not believe that her initial intent was to get me to quit the team nor to give up my love for the sport of basketball. Youre only as strong as your weakest link, my coach would say as I was performing a drill, which made me feel belittled and less of a person then everyone else. I just wanted to hang my head down like a sad, lost puppy would do. I tried hard to prove her wrong, to fight myself and my own body to prove to my coach and my teammates that I was no longer the worst player on the team, as they made it seem. We had scrimmages in practice where we split the team up and we all competed against each other. I could hear some of the other girls say, Oh no, were going to lose, when I was assigned to their team. The coach would also put the best players on one team and the benchwarmers on the other just for mockery and to see how bad we were without them. It just didnt seem as though the coach wanted the newer players to succeeded, more so of a confidence booster for the best players on the team. No matter what I did, how much sweat I accumulated, or how many tears I cried, my love for the sport was quickly diminishing, and no one could change my mind. I believe I reacted this way because I was very embarrassed that girls younger than me got to showcase their talents and were praised for doing so by the coach. I was looked down upon because of the simple mistakes I made and I felt as though I was not praised for the good I did for the team like the other significant players were. Also my mother and father supported me playing basketball and they wanted their daughter of course to look like a star, and for myself I wanted to impress them and my peers who would stay

Conner 5 and watch the games. Sitting on the bench I could not do so, and this was why I reacted the way I did. I believe that my perspective during my junior year of high school was more about what others would think of me and what they would say because I was a bench warmer for our team. I wanted to impress people in the stands, get a college scholarship, and even prove to my coach that I was good enough for her so she could accept me as a star player instead of a bench warmer or a good practice player as I heard her say. Games were played, about three times a week. In the beginning of the season I was playing and scoring points for the team which I thought was the characteristics of a good player. When the conference play began, the starters, Mrs. Qui cks favorite players, played the entire games without resting. Each game from then on I sat on the bench the entire thirty two minutes. All I did was wonder why I was not good enough to play. When I did get to play in small intervals of the games, all I could hear was youre not good enough, youre the worst player on the team, and it soon collected in my head, so when I got into the game all I could think were negative thoughts, and it placed me right on the bench because it caused me to screw up. Also my mother and father supported me playing basketball and they wanted their daughter of course to look like a star, and I wanted to impress them and my peers who would stayed afterschool to watch the game. Sitting on the bench I could not do so, and this was why I reacted the way I did. I believe that my perspective during my junior year of high school was more about what others would think of me and what they would say because I was a bench warmer for our team. I wanted to impress people in the stands, get a college scholarship, and even prove to my coach that I was good enough for her so she could accept me as a star player instead of a bench warmer or a good practice player as I heard her say. I was not only affected by my coachs wrath and hatred towards me. My parents were the number one participants that

Conner 6 reacted to this conflict. My mother as I remembered called the school and made a meeting to talk to the athletic director at my school. My coach had said some harmful terms to me that I did not like and it made my mother explode. She met with the director at my school and had a meeting with him about the situation. This only seemed to have made the situation worst and my coach began to avoid me and show no attention towards me at all. Also I can remember that my dad had picked me up from practice one day and as soon as I got into his car I began to cry in agony and shame because of how my coach would bully me and embarrass me. He went and had a conversation with her, but there was no telling what my northern father said to her, I could only imagine and this resulted in Mrs. Quick to calm down on her harsh criticism and she acted as if nothing happened nor did she try to talk to me about or my family about the issues we seemed to have with her. I believe that my emotions were elevated due to the fact that my family was mad to see me sit on the bench, come home in pain, and even cry sometimes because I felt weak. I believe that I went through this experience with my junior year of basketball because my father always pushed me to play the sport and then go to the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. So I guess its safe to say, that I learned to like basketball and sports because of my parents. Now I realize that I have the brains to go through college and be something other than just an athlete Other participants opinions were shaped by their morals and values based on what was right and wrong, traditions, and movies that showed coaches in aspects of basketball. Also their emotions influenced their thinking as well because they probably have experienced rude coaches as the one we had and it triggered their relative emotions to feel the way the secondary players felt on her team. My mom and dad used to sit in the stands and they would tell me how other parents felt about the coach and how her coaching techniques were unruly how she determined

Conner 7 who could play in the games. Of course no one wanted to see their daughter sit on the bench saddened and depressed because of a coachs opinion on them. Our school had a lot of college recruits looking at our players and for some including me, we were not to get noticed if we sat on the bench. Till this day I feel as though most coaches determine athletes futures by the playing time they give each student. As the season passed our team won games, and tournaments which excelled us into the state championship held at North Carolina State University, in 2012. In reality I knew that Mrs. Quick only wanted what was best for her team. I thought that maybe I was not a perfect basketball player, or good enough to be on the team. I just came to realize that her words went to my head and I took her words personally which I never should have done. She was a coach; her job was to critic the wrong that occurred in practice so it could be corrected before the important games. I believe that my coach loved the sport of basketball to a sense that she took it very seriously, and maybe too serious then I did. When it came down to the high school states basketball game she definitely got serious about this game. All the hard work I had put in, made me think that I would get to play in the championship game. The game began against Millbrook High School and they held the lead by three to four points the entire game. With the last quarter left to play, the lead our opponent had was increased and they came out with the victory, leaving us in second place. I sat on the bench the entire game wondering, Why I was here? Why am I on this team if I dont even get to play? I had no answers, nor light at the end of the tunnel. I felt as though it would only seem fit for everyone to play that was invited onto the team rather to just sit and watch from the sidelines. My emotions got the best of me and it caused me to make one of the worst decisions of my life, not to play basketball on an organized team ever again. I did not try out my senior year in high school. I could not believe that I let one negative person get to

Conner 8 me, basketball was my passion, my first love in sports, and what I thought would be my future. I guess you can say the green goblin from the wicked west won the fight and she took me down throughout my last basketball season of my entire life. Overall, I have learned by looking and analyzing my conflict, that I really did overact and I let other factors increase the anger and hatred I had held against my coach. I can see today that I have learned to forgive her for the unfairness, and to respect her decisions that was best for the team. Most of the time when an issue occurs first between two people each of them are going to hold into account their own opinion and how they feel about the situation, as though it is hard to think about how others feel so many people including myself push others opinions aside and are bias to their own emotion. In these certain situations, during a conflict people are going to have different views of whats fair, or right or wrong, so try to see other peoples views instead of solely focusing on yours. Overtime I believe most people change their aspects on certain conflicts that have aroused in their lifetime. With more time comes more wisdom and more time to evaluate and actually think about what was said, how you reacted, and the consequences of these reactions. We as humans will never sublimely understand someone elses emotions or how they go about certain situations so I have learned that while trying to resolve a conflict, it is best to try to see other perspectives instead of just my own.

Conner 9

Process Notes 1. My method for writing this paper was different from previous papers I have written because I had to first build a story of a conflict that happened in my past. I have not wrote a paper dealing with a conflict to be turned in academically. Also by writing and analyzing the conflict and how I reacted in each scenario was different for me because usually once I write something for school, it is turned in, I receive a grade for the assignment and then I am ready for the next paper. So to take time and to be able to go back through my paper, is a different aspect that I have learned to like. 2. In my paper the significant revisions that I made was adding more dialogue so that the reader could see how I felt in that present time and moment. I also added in more details about my parents and how they instigated the conflict, I added information about my teammates and how they acted towards me which also made me feel worse in certain situations. The reader of my paper will notice that I have increased the length of the paper due to the addition of analyzing my views and thoughts on the conflict. Also a reader will notice that I have tried to fix my grammatical errors and it should be easier to read and understand now that I added assignments two and three to explain exactly how I felt. 3. I was actually absent for the peer response of the conflict narrative assignment. Although I mentioned my ideas to my group members in a previous class, they gave me a lot of helpful feedback. My group member told me that I should add information about how my teammates treated me in practice and games and that I should add details to this portion of my paper. Also by feeding off their conflicts, it helped me to stop questioning whether my conflict was relevant and fit the assignment.

Conner 10 4. If I had more time, when I began to add the portions from assignment two and three, I would make the analysis flow better with the story line. Also I would read through all the pages to completely try to minimize my grammatical errors that may cause some clarity issues in my paper. I would also like to have added a more meaningful conclusion to my paper that my readers may have took with them next time they deal with a common conflict. 5. The most difficult choice to make while revising my paper was where exactly to add the analyzed portions of my conflict. It was hard making the story flow from explaining and writing dialogue throughout the paper to explain my emotions and analyze how I felt during the conflict. This was hard because I did not know where to really add much of anything throughout the paper so I copied and pasted from each of the other assignments and placed it into my narrative and tried to change up the sentences before and after the portions I added. I also made some new paragraphs for the sections of analyzing because it was really difficult for me to find an appropriate place for the new section. 6. I was proud by the way I tried to fit each new paragraphs into my story and finding the best place I knew that would fit the analyzing section. I like also how my conclusion fits into perspective of not only my conflict but a general aspect on dealing with conflicts and issues with people. I believe that my conclusion ties everything in my collective writing together and it brings about the real reason the paper was typed in this particular format.