Student 1 Before:

Student 1 After:

The above artifacts show the rough draft and the second draft of a letter that Student 1 wrote to a local community leader. The first draft was handwritten by the student on notebook

paper and red edits were made by me. In addition, I left some commentary on the back of her letter to encourage and advice a second draft. After some whole class discussion and a brief one on one conference about the letter, Student 1 decided to make a second draft. The most apparent improvement is that Student 1 has created a more professional letter. She has typed it, added staples of a formal letter like the date and Mr. before Shelley, etc. In terms of writing style, Student 1 has organized her letter into paragraphs and simplified a few sentences. While these improvements seem subtle, this assignment shows that Student 1 has learned more proper letter writing etiquette and is willing to put in the extra effort to make more quality work. I believe that my written comments on the letter, matched with a brief one on one conference, encouraged Student 1 to take her work seriously and to improve. Student 2 Before:

Above is the first draft of a letter written by Student 2. The red notes were made by me. The final draft was typed and shows similar improvements as seen in Student 1. Student 2 has made her second draft more formal and made slight edits in writing style. Most of all, this assignment shows how Student 2 has grown as a result of this Civil Rights unit. As her anecdote explains, throughout her life, she has become more aware of the diversity that exists in America and the struggles it has encountered along the way. Before starting the topic of local civil rights, many of the students thought life was much more peaceful in the north than it was in the south. They would come to realize that the north had serious racial problems as well, highlighted by violence and segregation. This assignment shows that Student 2 has reflected greatly on her own journey for social justice.