Gomez- Perry1

Daniel Gomez- Perry

Mr. Padgett
English 1102
23 January 2014
Lack of Words and Expression
Throughout the last twenty years a vast advancement in the way we socialize as a
society has gradually transformed into a more mute way of communicating. I say mute
because a lack of emotional or verbal expression has over taken our generation, we have
transformed into a generation that doesnt like to verbally socialize. We tweet, we text,
we snapchat, it seems almost as if just talking face to face has become obsolete. The
majority of us tend to silently mesmerize into small shinning screens for hours; sending
pathetic abbreviated messages topped with vaguely expressive emoticons. Hopefully we
wait for the person at the other line to emotionally interpret the vague message the same
way we meant to express it. I dont mean to give social media a negative connotation;
because it is true it helps us in every way. It generates quicker and more productive ways
of communicating information, it enhances the length at which communication can
travel, and it helps people express their thoughts and emotions with as much freedom as
they want. But like everything else, it does possess some negative effects. Some which
can fully transform our society and fully alter it into something different.
I have felt a false sense of connection with social media;, in a way, I have
experienced that all the relationships I have made virtually through all the social
networks I am in are not real. I mean having 600 friends makes no sense, how can one
person keep up with 600 different people, half the people we are friends with on
Comment [AP1]: I really like how youve
introduced this idea, and this particular
word choice, and then quickly define what it
is that you mean by it.
Comment [AP2]: Should this be capitalized
in some way?
Comment [AP3]: Can you be more
specific? Try to avoid generic words like
something or things or stuff.
Comment [AP4]: Are you talking about
people you have met online and never in
person?
Comment [AP5]: Isnt the answer: social
media?
Gomez- Perry2
Facebook or Twitter are mere acquaintances. But the real truth for the reason why people
add more and more friends on Facebook is because subconsciously they feel more
popular and receive more attention. It is a subconscious competition with others to see
who gets the most friends, followers, likes, or the most retweets. If the person doesnt get
the amount of likes or retweets they want or a person does not follow them back then
they most likely will delete the update, or stop following the person whom did not follow
them.
This socially virtual world each one of us lives in has become the new way we set
our self-esteem, we can feel confident or insecure based on the amount of people we
socialize to with online, or through text. The more peoples attention one receives the
more confidence one feels. This can ultimately transform the attitude we have towards
others; it may strengthen or weaken our relationships. Relationships can be affected due
to examples as simple as a misinterpreted tweet or maybe even an unreplied text. Social
media also affects each one of our privacies; we tend to put all sorts of information on
social networking sites such as: email addresses, where we go to school, phone numbers,
all sorts of pictures, and sometimes even our home addresses. People are basically
pleading to get stalked by others. And this is a right each one of us as citizens has,
privacy should be used as a valued possession not something that should be handed out to
random strangers.
Social media in essence has a good intention. It is meant to provide people with a
better way of communicating with others, but in effect it is producing negative effects
that all of us subsequently have succumbed to. These are: Lack of privacy, false sense of
connection with reality, and a lack of verbal and emotional expression. As a society we
Comment [AP6]: Im not so sure it is
sub-conscious. Pretty sure it is regular
conscious.
Comment [AP7]: Very true.
Comment [AP8]: This paragraph seems to
drift between self-esteem,
miscommunication, and then to privacy all
the sudden. Can you maybe separate these
conversations or make them relate more
closely to the other?
Comment [AP9]: Reconsider the repetition
of the word effect here.
Comment [AP10]: This is a really
interesting idea here. I think you should
explore it further.
Gomez- Perry3
should search for a way to resolve these issues so in the future social media does not
become a real serious social problem, so we can ultimately stop being a mute society
and we can regain our words and expressions.
Is social media a stepping-stone in the betterment of society or is it a factor
suppressing it from advancing? A few issues/questions that fall under the negative
factors include:
o Can social media in any way alter somebodys self-esteem?
o Can social media negatively affect someones privacy?
o Can social media lessen somebodys productivity?

In my research my purpose is to discover how social media has negatively affected us
as a society, I want to understand how this will affect our short and long term situations,
so that I can observe how this will alter our social world and ultimately transform the way
we communicate with other humans. Secondly, I want to fully comprehend how social
media can affect a persons self-esteem. Nowadays social recognition counts on how
much you expose yourself online. As a result social media has become a tool that enables
us to show off ourselves virtually. Our self-esteem can be impacted due to this because
of virtual rejection and/or even cyber bullying. Thirdly I want to understand how
someones privacy can be impacted due to social media, since many people set large
amounts of information about their lives online; their privacy is at risk of being exposed
to strangers. And lastly I want to have a better grasp in how the productivity of a person
can lessen due to social media. Since people spend large amounts of time on social
websites, gazing into their phones for hours, and taking various selfies for snapchat a
Comment [AP11]: I think the answer to all
of these questions is yes. But maybe you
should ask, how much can social media
affect productivity? framing the question
this way might produce more helpful
results.
Comment [AP12]: This too is a generic
word. Can you be more specific?
Comment [AP13]: This is another really
great idea here.
Gomez- Perry4
great amount of time is spent into doing these tasks. Due to this a persons productivity in
complying with their academic priorities lessens. A potential thesis for my research could
be: As social media reaches higher standards and ultimately perfects, new issues begin to
unravel, within our insecure generation of teenagers self-esteem, privacy, and
productivity can be affected ultimately becoming predominant problems, consequently
this will be a factor which will suppress society from advancing.
Social media, in its essence, is dramatically transforming the way we communicate in
our generation. With gradual progress we have developed a way for the efficiency of our
communication to advance, it has reached a point were to the touch of a button you can
communicate with people who are a hemisphere away from your location. With this
efficiency and great advancement many negative effects unfold; more and more complex
issues begin to unravel as we set better standards and higher limits, but as a society it is
our duty to resolve them.
Daniel,
I think you have a lot of really great ideas here, and you have a really nice,
readable writing style that serves you well. I can see that you have a natural ability to
put words to the (digital) page. The ideas you propose here certainly have a lot of
potential, but like I said, be careful about including too many of these great ideas into
one paper. Try to focus on one main idea. I really like what you have to say about the
how younger generations feel the need to expose themselves online for recognition.
One really good question you could as is: what are the consequences for overly
exposing ones self on the internet? Or: should we be so eager to expose ourselves
in the new digital age? I think what is good about these questions is that the answer
Comment [AP14]: There are a lot of really
good ideas in this thesis. But I would warn
you about including too many disparate
ideas in one thesis. Self-esteem,
productivity, and privacy could be three
separate papers.
Gomez- Perry5
could go either way. Since online exposure seems to be an inevitability now, maybe
you could discover recommendations for how much one should or should not be
exposing oneself on the internet. Im just spit-balling here, but I think it is important
to ask questions that are designed to lead you toward a discovery. That might really
help and guide your research.