LauraDouglas

EPS512 Cohort009

IdentityReflection

IamagirlfromLongIslandIgrewupmywholelifethereinthesuburbs.Inever
expectedmypathtoleadmetothecityofChicago,enrolledinaprogramtobecomeanurban
educator.Truthis,IneverreallythoughtIdbeateacheratall.Infact,Iclearlyremember
dreamingofbecomingascientistsincemiddleschool.
Growingupmyfatheralwaystoldmetothinklikeanengineer,meaningthatIshould
criticallyanalyzesituations,givingthoughtbeforeIacted.Healsotaughtmetoquestionmy
sources,tonotjusttrustsomeonesword,andtomakeconclusionsformyself.Thismindset
helpedmegrowintellectually,Ilearnedtomakeconnectionswitheverythingaroundme.WhenI
startedtakingscienceclassesinmiddleschool,Iwashooked.ItwasalmostasifIhadbeen
groomedtobecomeascientist.
WhenIenrolledinschool,Ididsowiththeintentionsofbecomingabiologist.
Coincidentally,theschoolIenrolledinwasknownforbeinga"teachingschool".Mydadalways
toldmewhata"sweetdeal"teachershave,soIdecidedtotakeafewextraclassesandget
certifiedtoteachbiologyinadditiontomyBS.AtthetimeIfigureditwouldbeagoodbackup
careertohaveincasethewholescientistthingfellthrough.IcontinuedmyeducationbelievingI
wouldbeascientist,bymysenioryearIhadalreadytakentheGREsandhadbegun
researchingpossiblegraduateschools.Mysenioryearalsoincludedmyteachingmethods
courseandIwascompletingmylasttwenty(of100)observationalhoursinsecondaryschools.
Duringthose100hoursofobservationIfoundmyselfwantingtoparticipateinthe
classroomIfeltuselesssittinginthebackonlyobserving.Iwantedtohelpthestudentsduring
lab,andIoftenreflectedonhowIwouldhaveapproachedaparticulartopicortechnique.When
westarteddoingdemosandlessonsinmymethodsclass,Ienjoyedit.

InmyfinalsemesterIstartedmystudentteaching.
Ifellinlove.

Isimplyfellinlovewithteaching.IhavealwayslovedscienceandIfoundthatitcame
throughwhenItaughtmystudents.Iwantedtobecreative,tomakesciencefunformystudents.
IwantedtoinspirefuturescientistsIrealizedthatmymiddleschoolscienceteacherhadinstilled
thisinme.WhatifIdidn'thavesuchanenthusiasticteacher?WouldIhaveevenlikedscience
class?
Thisepiphanyoccurredduringmyfirststudentteachingplacement.ItwasinaMiddle
School,inanaffluentneighborhood.AtthispointIknewIwantedtobeateacheritwasn'tuntil
myplacementinHighSchoolthatIknewwhereIwantedtoteach.MyHSplacementwasina
failingschool,inalowsocioeconomicarea.HereIsawstudentsgiveuponthemselvesand
teachersgiveupontheirstudents.Icouldn'tfathomhowthiswasanacceptablepracticeI
wouldn'tacceptit.Ipushedmystudents,Iheldthemaccountable,andIsawchangesinthem.
I'llalwaysrememberthisoneparticularpairofgirlsinmy8thperiodclass.WhenIfirst
arrivedtheysatinthebackoftheclass,listenedtomusic,didnotparticipateinanyway,and
basicallyjustwaitedforthebelltoring.Igavethemextraattention,madesuretheyparticipated
anddidtheirwork.EventuallytheystartedtovolunteeranswersandevengotAsontheir
quizzes.Theywereastonishedthattheycouldlearnandcouldachieveiftheywantedto.The
dayIleft,theysaidthistome"Miss,ifyouwereherefromthebeginning,wewouldbepassing
thisclass".ThesewordsbrokemyheartandIknowtheywillstickwithmeformyentireteaching
career.
Itisunfortunatethatthesestudentsdidn'thavesomeonetopushandbelieveinthem
fromthebeginningoftheyear.Itisunfortunatethatsomanystudentsaregivenupon.Iwould
nothaveseenthisinmyschoolgrowingupinmiddleclasssuburbia,whywouldIseeithere?
AfterstudentteachingattheHighSchool,IknewwhereIwouldmakethemostimpactonmy
students.
NowthatIamanadult,Icanreflectonmyexperiencesgrowingup,andseehowluckyI
was.IgrewupphilosophizingwithmyfatherandthoroughlybelievedIcouldbeanythingIwanted
towhenIgrewup.Ineverfeltrestrictionsordiscouragedfromsettinghighgoals.Ibelievevery
stronglythatthisshapedmeintothepersonIamtoday.ThisisoneofthereasonswhyIwantto
beanurbaneducator,allkidsneedsomeonetobelieveinthemandtellthemtheycando
anything.Icantguaranteethatmystudentsarebeingencouragedbytheirfriendsandfamily
members,Ican,however,guaranteethatmystudentswillbegettingthiskindofencouragement
inmyclassroom.