11/2/2012

1
Strengthening Marriage
Session 3: Fostering Unity and
Equality
Becoming One!
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his
mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they
shall be one flesh
Genesis 2:24
Be one; and if ye are not one ye are not mine
D&C 38:27
Please read the quote by President Hinckley!
Some Research Evidence
93%
78%
78%
89%
70% 75% 80% 85% 90% 95%
Problems sharing leadership equally
Creative in handling differences
Partner is seldom too controlling
We agree on how to spend money
Of 20,000 couples studied:
What is Unrighteous Dominion?
Men AND Women who do the following:
Criticize more than compliment family members.
Insist on obedience because of authority.
Seek happiness in places other than home.
Family members reluctant to share feeling or
concerns.
Attempt to gain authority by punishment or discipline.
Family members are fearful of you.
Controls all financial decisions for the family.
Insist on being the source of all spiritual inspiration.
Fostering Equality
Discuss ways in which you both can show the
following in your relationship:
Consideration
Kindness
Thoughtfulness
Concern
Affection
Appreciation
Admiration
Pride (in the
relationship)
Companionship
Confidence
Faith
Partnership
Take the Equality Assessment
Presiding
Plan, organize and lead the family from equal
footing, and move forward unanimously.
Supervision in therapy
Volunteers?
Any other thoughts about presiding?
Whats the difference from Taking Charge
and Controlling Others?
11/2/2012
2
Begin with Yourself!
Automatic thoughts drive controlling
behavior:
Why dont I want my wife/husband to help
balance the checkbook?
AT They will criticize me; They dont understand
finances
Why dont I want my wife to be with friends?
AT Shell have more fun and not want to be with me
Learning Activity One
List three controlling behaviors.
Ask yourself Why you do these behaviors
Write down your automatic thoughts related
to these behaviors.
What are you willing to do to correct these
behaviors and thoughts.
President Kimball
Volunteer to read the comment
Joint Decision Making Activity
A. Husband and Wife Decide Together
B. Wife Decides after Consulting with Husband
C. Husband Decides after Consulting with Wife
D. Only the Wife Decides.
E. Only the Husband Decides.
Commit to Persistence
Recognize your need for change
Commit to spouse and others to make the
changes
Have a network of support
Create a network of accountability
What questions do you have?