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Tamara Lloyd
Professor Allison Fernley
English 1010
April 26, 2014
Facebook: Friend or Foe?
Bring up the subject of Facebook in our family and you are likely to spark a friendly but
lively debate. And we aren't the only ones discussing the subject. Social media, with its
accompanying challenges and advantages, gets a fair amount of attention in current news and
magazine articles these days. In fact, Facebook is being studied, examined and scrutinized by
researchers here in the United States and abroad, and we are the long term study subjects.
Facebook, which has been around for ten years now, is very popular (as of December 2013 there
were 1.23 billion monthly users). They have an admirable mission statement, which is " . . . to
give people the power to share and make the world more open and connected. People use
Facebook to stay connected with friends and family, to discover what's going on in the world,
and to share and express what matters to them" (Facebook). That is wonderful; but is using
Facebook (AKA social media) all wonderful all the time?
It may be unfair to place all the focus on one--albeit it very popular--site; however, it is
the most popular. Therefore, while referring to social media in general, we'll focus on Facebook.
Facebook serves as a gateway site for many young adults, introducing them to the world of
social networking and the internet. There are certainly many advantages to using social media,
and an equal number of caveats. Each pro and con could be a research paper in and of itself.
Nevertheless, one question that seems to be on the minds of many curious Facebook observers
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and researchers is; "Does consistent use of Facebook affect our self-esteem and influence our
overall happiness?"
Some researchers and authors feel that using social media can actually boost self-
esteem, especially when viewing, editing and posting information about yourself. Jeffrey
Hancock, a professor at Cornell University and author of an article titled, "Mirror, Mirror On My
Facebook Wall," said that Facebook shows us and others a positive version of ourselves. In
contrast, when we look in a mirror we see reality, and if that reality doesn't match with our ideal
self, our self-esteem, he believes, can take a plunge. This theory was the impetus behind the
study, which placed students in one of three situations: spending time on their Facebook page,
sitting in front of a blank computer screen, or sitting next to a computer with a mirror next to it.
After three minutes the students were given a questionnaire to measure self-esteem. Those
students who spent time on Facebook responded more positively than either of the other two
groups. Furthermore, students who had made a change to their own profile during their three
minutes rated even higher than those simply looking at Facebook. Because the internet allows us
to be selective and discerning about the image we present, researchers in this study theorize that
over time these feelings can have a positive impact on the way we see our self. Hancock
emphasizes that "we're not saying that it's a deceptive version of self, but it's a positive one"
(Durayappah).
One might ask: "Are we that shallow?" Most of us have a tendency to look at ourselves
first when looking through photos, and without even consciously realizing it we make a
judgment. We either like what we see or we are critical of the image. How often do we delete or
discard a picture because it isn't flattering? The digital age has made looking good a snap,
allowing us to share all that is good and flattering in quantity--changing and editing, adding and
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deleting from moment to moment. If putting our best face forward and posting an edited image
of our self can cause an upward surge in self-esteem, what effect does viewing the Facebook
pages of friends and acquaintances have on a person? After all, Hancock, whose data was
referenced in many of the articles relating to the positive effects of Facebook, emphasizes those
'feel-good-about-myself' feelings were most likely to occur when looking at your own profile.
What happens when your focus shifts towards the images and lives of others?
Enter the term "Facebook Envy". Envy is defined as "painful or resentful awareness of
an advantage enjoyed by another joined with a desire to possess the same advantage" (Merriam-
Webster). Envy can be a huge deterrent to one's ability to be happy. Joseph Epstein, an essayist,
observed that, "Of the seven deadly sins, only envy is no fun at all" (Epstein). Recent studies
are showing that envy, brought about by the advent of social media, is leading to "destructive
social comparisons, which decreases happiness" (Brooks). Contrasting the findings of Jeffrey
Hancock are studies indicating that Facebook actually has a detrimental effect on a person's self-
esteem and overall happiness, or at least their perception of their happiness. Dr. Grace Chou and
Nicholas Edge studied the impact of Facebook on our perceptions of others' lives. What they
discovered through their research was that while people tend to present themselves in a favorable
way on their Facebook profile, it is very human to feel a bit of envy, jealousy, or even
resentment when receiving a steady diet of the best times and best pictures of our friends and
family. Chou noted that it was easy for observers to assume, based on what they were seeing,
that others were continuously happy and always had good lives. They believed that the
happiness reflected in the Facebook profiles of their friends was a constant - not merely a sample
of a happy moment. Furthermore, they discovered that "the more 'friends' people added to their
Facebook--whom they did not know personally--the stronger they believed that others had better
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lives than themselves" (Chou). On the other hand, they noted that the more time people spent
actually going out with friends in person, the more likely they were to feel positive about their
own lives and situations.
Other studies note that women (who on average spend 30% more time on Facebook than
men) are especially vulnerable to Facebook envy and its associated pitfalls due to their tendency
to compare themselves with others. Dr. Alice Walton, who holds a PhD in Biopsychology and
Behavioral Neuroscience, expresses concern over an increase in body image issues among young
women and the role that social media may play in these issues. While she is quick to observe
that social media has many positives, it can also "mess with our minds." Her bottom line is to
understand that social media is here to stay, therefore "we will need to adjust our relationship to
it and arrive at a better balance". She suggests that users be pro-active by being honest about
how Facebook makes them feel and by considering the pros and cons of Facebook (Walton). I
agree--since social media is here to stay, it makes sense that each individual come to terms with
their personal relationship with it and adjust accordingly.
While I agree that social media can be tough on mental health, it's important to note
that the sites themselves are not harmful, but the behavior they promote can be. Some studies
indicated that the more friends you add the more opportunity you have to view a "parade of good
news about other people's lives . . which can make [you] feel worse about [your] own
achievements or lack thereof" (Pappas). In other words, by adding people you do not know or
barely know for the sake of having lots of friends, the more likely you are to feel discouraged
and dissatisfied. Some research indicates that the more time a person spends on Facebook the
more their mood drops. This drop in mood is attributed to the idea that the more time you spend
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on social media, the more likely you are to think that your friends have better, more exciting,
happier lives (Chou).
I'll share a personal example of how select glimpses into the lives of others can lead to
false assumptions. I had five children, then one more much later in life. My youngest daughter
has spent most of her years home alone without older siblings. When she watches home movies
she feels shortchanged, left out, and ripped off that she didn't get to be a part of all those "fun
times". I have to remind her that we purposely didn't record the fights over whose turn it was to
sit in the front seat; the arguments over who should get the bedroom to them self; the
disagreements over whose turn it was to clean the bathroom or to babysit. We just recorded the
"good times", which didn't seem like good times at the time - rather just ordinary moments
caught on tape that look better when looking back on them. Unfortunately, that's exactly what
some of us are doing--assuming that select moments of happiness represent the entire scope of
someone else's life. Sadly, we may even feel guilty for resenting their "happy life," and question
why ours isn't so wonderful all the time. The good news is-- it's completely unnecessary to
succumb to these erroneous conclusions.
Sarah Tuttle-Singer, an author and blogger, writes about her experience becoming real on
Facebook in an article titled, "I Stopped Telling Lies on Facebook". She describes her Saturday
morning Facebook post which included - waking up with the sun, drinking hot chocolate in red
latte cups with her two children, walking in the orchard, and rocking out to the Red Hot Chili
Peppers. While there was some truth to her version of Saturday morning, she also acknowledges
that she is "full of baloney". She admits that her "real" morning included the kids waking her up
too early, quarreling over the TV, and spilled hot chocolate. In her confession she includes a
situation that may sound uncomfortably familiar to some of us: while trying to get a perfect
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photo to post of her and the kids "frolicking", she was directing her kids to "Smile, dammit!
Look happy!" Oh, how I love her honesty!
I believe Sarah hits the nail on the head and gets to the core of the problem concerning
the conflicting emotions and feelings swirling around Facebook in her conclusion by saying:
"Instead of pretending that everything is hunky-dory, let's be real. Sure, there are great times that
should be celebrated. But let's not tell each other so many lies by omission. Because you know
what happens then? When we see one another's "fakebook" posts, it makes us post our own
airbrushed versions of the truth. And so the fakeness cycle continues, and we lose that chance to
be real with our friends and nurture those honest moments both online and off. So I'm going to
be honest. . . I think I'd be happier of I stopped pretending and stopped making friends on
Facebook feel like they have to pretend as well" (Tuttle-Singer).
In conclusion, while some scholars and researchers say Facebook can undermine and
challenge a person's overall feelings of satisfaction and happiness, others see it as a benefit to
positive self-esteem. While I agree that for many people Facebook is a positive experience, I also
feel that some suffer needlessly from "Facebook Envy." Based on the current research, which
is--in my opinion--preliminary, I believe that utilizing Facebook does not have to be a negative
experience that threatens our self-esteem. Considering a few simple adjustments in the way we
look at social media can lessen the negative aspects of using Facebook, making the experience
what it was intended to be in the first place--that is, a place "to stay connected with friends and
family . . . and to share and express what matters to them" (Facebook). Facebook can be all it
was meant to be if we can resist the temptation to compare ourselves and our lives with others,
practice being real, and set limits on time spent viewing social media so that we have time to
spend building relationships with real, face-to-face friends.
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Works Cited
Brooks, Arthur C. "Our Shift Toward Envy Can be Combatted With More Opportunity." The
New York Times. March 1, 2014. Web. 14 April, 2014.
Chou, Hui-Tzu Grace, and Edge, Nicholas. "They Are Happier and Having Better Lives Than I
Am': The Impact Of Using Facebook On Perceptions Of Others' Lives."
Cyberpsychology, Behavior & Social Networking 15.2 (2012): 117-121. Academic
Search Premier. Web. 30 Mar. 2014.
Durayappah, Adoree. "Facebook Enhances Self-Esteem, Study Finds." HuffPost Healthy
Living. 09 March, 2011. Web. 30 March, 2014. http;//www.huffingtonpost.com/adoree-
durayappah-mapp-mba/facebook-self-esteem-study-finds.
Epstein, Joseph. "The Green Eyed Monster". Washington Monthly. July/August 2003.
http://www.washingtonmonthly.com/features/2003/0307.epstein.html. Web. 04/25/2014.
Facebook. https://www.facebook.com/facebook/info. Web. 04/03/2014
Merriam-Webster Collegiate Dictionary. Eleventh Edition. 2005.
Pappas, Stephanie. "Facebook With Care: Social Networking Site Can Hurt Self-Esteem."
Livescience.com. 06 February, 2012. http://www.livescience.com/18324-facebook-
depression-social-comparison.html
Tuttle-Singer, Sarah. "I Stopped Telling Lies on Facebook." kveller.com. 02/25/13/
http://www.kveller.com/blog/parenting/we-need-to-quit-telling-lies-on-facebook/ Web.
03/30/14.
Walton, Alice G. "The True Costs of Facebook Addiction: Low Self-Esteem and Poor Body
Image." ForbesWoman. 4/05/2012. Web. 14 April, 2014.
http://www.forbes.com/sites/alicegwalton/2012/04/05
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Reflection
1) Based on the feedback I received on my presentation, I realized that this is a topic that many
are familiar with and have opinions about. Most were of two minds, seeing the pros and cons of
Facebook; however I did observe male responders were more positive about Facebook in
general. The reviews on my rough draft were much more thorough and specific, allowing me to
see how my audience was interpreting the information. Both responders asked about the lack of
"positive" evidence in the discussion. There didn't seem to be as much information available in
the positive. Rather, more studies and articles were available showing the negative effects of
Facebook. Interestingly, going into my research, I was feeling pretty sure that Facebook was a
negative thing, that it had more cons than pros. However, in the end I can honestly say that it's
not a bad thing - you just have to be wise, and understand what is really going on. The articles
and research which looked at the negative aspects were what actually helped to convince me that
Facebook is alright, in that they offered insight into how to avoid some of the pitfalls.
One responder, who was very thorough, made some great suggestions about the
mechanics of my position synthesis, as well as my choice of wording. As I began to make
changes I felt like the changes were in direct conflict with the information in chapter nine of our
text. I felt that if I made all the changes suggested I would, in fact, be setting aside my own
voice; therefore, I went back and reinserted my-self back into the paper.
2) I revised my paper by deleting some of the points that seemed to be confusing. One
responder indicated that my opening paragraph was distracting so I edited it - removing much of
the unnecessary text. I also clarified some of the fuzzy areas where there seemed to be confusion
about whose voice was speaking, adding voice markers where appropriate.
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3) I feel that to the best of my understanding I followed the criteria for this paper as outlined. I
felt that I connected the ideas of my topic with the appropriate transitions. On pages 4 and 5 I
inserted metacommentaries, recapping information that had been presented. I was conscious of
naming who was speaking as well as using signal verbs. I inserted a naysayer on page 2 by
questioning the shallowness of one study. I feel that the "who cares" is addressed throughout the
paper in that most, if not all, of my intended audience use Facebook and may at one time or
another feel some of the negatives associated with it. I edited to the best of my knowledge and
proofread several times - finding mistakes each time.