Direct, Precise, and Active Verbs

Direct, precise, active verbs energize writing. Consider this sentence with verbs in bold
from Drugs, Sports, Body Image and .I. !oe" by #atalie $ngier%
&he use of anabolic steroids lowers the levels of protective high'density lipoproteins, suppresses
sperm production and raises the ris( of heart attac(s, stro(es and liver disease.
&he verbs in $ngier)s sentence tell you how the drug acts. &he rhetorical effect of the three verbs
is that they move the sentence forward with vigor and clarity so that you form a negative opinion
about the drug)s actions. In addition, the verbs contribute to $ngier)s confident, no'nonsense
tone% she has no need for fancy descriptions when straightforward verbs will do.
#ow consider another passage, this one from &he Silent Season of a *ero" by ay
&alese, with its verbs, verb phrases, and verbals +ad,ectives made from verbs- in bold type%
*e watched until she left, lost in the crowd of the newly arrived tourists that had ,ust come
down the hill by cable car. &hen he sat down again at the table in the restaurant, finishing his tea
and lighting another cigarette, his fifth in the last half hour. It was ..%/0 in the morning. #one of
the other tables was occupied, and the only sounds came from the bar, where a li1uor salesman
was laughing at something the headwaiter had said. But then the salesman, his briefcase under
his arm, headed for the door, stopping briefly to peek into the dining room and call out, See
you later, !oe." !oe Di2aggio turned and waved at the salesman. &hen the room was 1uiet
again.
&alese uses the action verbs, verb phrases, and verbals to give you a sense of the scene)s
movement and drama. 3n the other hand, the two shortest sentences 4 both emphasizing silence
and stasis rather than movement 4 rely on the lin(ing verb was.
3nce you)ve learned to recognize effective verbs in your reading, you)ll become more
aware of them in your own writing. 5ou may find yourself wor(ing on the verbs in revisions
rather than first drafts, but here are some suggestions for ma(ing even your first draft active and
precise.
Direct Verbs
6se forms of to be and other lin(ing verbs sparingly and with a specific reason. 3ften
you can change a form of to be followed by a predicate ad,ective or a predicate noun into an
action verb. Consider how the second sentence in each pair below sports a stronger verb than the
first%
$n article published in the 2arch7$pril 800/ issue of ACSMs Health & Fitness Journal is a
review of recent studies.
$n article published in the 2arch7$pril 800/ issue of ACSMs Health & Fitness Journal reviews
recent studies. '' $merican College of Sports 2edicine
It is a testament to a fundamental stability in $merican society9.
It attests to a fundamental stability in $merican society9 '' Samuel . :reedman
2y left arm was wea(.
I was losing the strength in my left arm. '' !ohn 2c2urtry
2y arm is strong again.
I)ve recovered most of the strength in my arm. '' !ohn 2c2urtry
Precise Verbs
;hile there is nothing wrong with the verbs walks and looks in the first sentence that
follows, consider the precision of the verbs in the second sentence.
$s <mily wal(s onto the floor in her green'and'gold uniform, she loo(s for me.
$s <mily bounces onto the floor in her green'and'gold uniform, her eyes scan the crowd to meet
mine. '' =ris >ervaec(e
Similarly, in the first sentence that follows, complain is a perfectly serviceable verb 4 until you
compare it with the more precise verb that the writer selects.
#ow some may complain about my brining a sub,ect as unworthy as appearance into the pristine
arena of sports.
#ow some may grouse at my bringing a sub,ect as unworthy as appearance into the pristine arena
of sports. '' Donna Britt
Active Verbs
In addition to selecting a verb that is direct and creates a precise image, use verbs in the
active voice 4 with an easy'to'picture sub,ect doing something 4 unless you have a specific
purpose for using the passive voice, where the sub,ect is acted upon. *ere, for e?ample, in the
final part of a sentence from &he Silent Season of a *ero," ay &alese ma(es good use of the
passive voice%
@io Aepe was among those who cheered when !oe Di2aggio returned to San :rancisco after his
first season with the #ew 5or( 5an(ees and was carried along the wharf on the shoulders of the
fishermen.
In this sentence, Di2aggio is acted upon by the fishermen. ;hyB Aerhaps because &alese wanted
DiMaggio to remain as the sub,ect instead of switching away from DiMaggio and ma(ing the
fishermen the sub,ect.
By and large though, strong writers stic( with the active voice, as &alese does in the
following passage%
In the forty'first game Cof .DE.F9Di2aggio tied an $merican Geague record that eorge Sisler
had set in .D88.
&alese could have cast that sentence in the passive voice, as follows%
In the forty'first game9an $merican Geague record that had been set by eorge Sisler in .D88
was tied by Di2aggio.
$s is often the case, the use of passive voice in this e?ample ma(es for a wordy sentence that is
hard to follow.
Exercise 1
Improve the following sentences b replacing one or more verbs in each with a more
effective verb ! that is, a more vivid, precise, and active verb"
.. 2y first college visit will always be remembered by me.
8. &here are many technological advances available to ma(e our lives easier.
/. In the middle of the night, sirens could be heard.
E. It was not very long before she regretted buying the e?pensive handbag.
H. &he raham techni1ue is little esteemed by modern dancers today.
I. &he college advisor said she could not ma(e a suggestion about which school to apply to
because she didn)t (now his S$& scores.
J. &he team captain is responsible for scheduling practices and communicating with team
members.
K. $ decision was reached by the arbitration panel.
D. &he local sheriff gave a warning to the college students about wal(ing around with open
containers.
.0. &he chief of surgery too( the opportunity to than( the volunteers.
... Do your children have fears about going away to campB
.8. $ntigone was very protective of 3edipus in Oeipus at Colonus.
Exercise #
Identif the verbs and verbals in the following passages" Discuss how these verbs affect the
tone of the passages"
2aybe Serena)s muscularity e?plains why much of the media has yet to note her beauty.
But buffness hasn)t marred Gucy Gawless)s se?'symbol status as &>)s Lena. *er rippling bod
still graces men)s magazine covers. Could ;illiams) youth be the issueB #ot if you consider how
often the prettiness of *ingis, .K, is noted, as is .K'year'old $nna =ourni(ova)s =ewpie'doll
appeal.
&he new Sports !llustrate clinched it. :rom hundreds of possible photos, S! chose one of
Serena during play, her face contorted in a grimace. &he shot highlights her athleticism, which I
love, but diminishes her attractiveness. 3ddly, the mag that invented swimsuit issues modestly
obscures Serena)s breasts with a strip of type. '' Donna Britt, $ 6ni1ue &a(e on Beauty"
She maintains her composure until we get in the car, then crumples in humiliation. 3nce
we)re on the highway, forty miles to home, freezing rain coats our windows, but I can)t see well
enough to find a safe place to pull off. I drive with trepidation over the slippery road, through the
foggy dar(ness, while <mily cries so hard it sounds as though she will brea( apart. 2ommy, I)m
such a failureM" she weeps. $t first my attempts to comfort her only increase her misery, so I shut
up. I)m left to listen and worry about the road and thin( my resentful thoughts. I remember all the
years in elementary school when she was benched" in the classroom 4 left to do bulletin boards
for the teacher 4 because she)d already mastered what was being taught. I thin( about the studies
that suggest that girls who compete in athletics are far less li(ely to drin( or ta(e drugs or become
pregnant. '' =ris >ervaec(e, $ Spectator)s #oteboo("
Exercise $
Anal%e the verbs in the opening paragraph of &'ow I (earned to )ide the *iccle"+
,hich verbs are precise and vivid- ,hich are bland or in the passive voice- Do ou think
that .rances ,illard uses the passive voice deliberatel and effectivel- Do the verbs she
uses tip ou off that this is an older piece- Are there strong verbs that mirror that exercise
the author is advocating- /ite specific examples to support our view"
If I am as(ed to e?plain why I learned the bicycle, I should say I did it as an act of grace, if not of
actual religion. &he cardinal doctrine laid down by my physician was, Give out of doors and ta(e
congenial e?ercise"N but from the day when at si?teen years of age, I was enwrapped in the long
s(irts that impeded every footstep, I have detested wal(ing and felt with a certain noble disdain
that the conventions of life had cut me off from what in the freedom of my prairie home had been
one of life)s sweetest ,oys. Driving is not real e?erciseN it does not renovate the river of blood that
flows so sluggishly in the veins of those who from any cause have lost the natural ad,ustment of
brain to brawn. *orsebac( riding, which does promise vigorous e?ercise, is e?pensive. &he
bicycle, however, meets all the conditions are will ere long come within the reach of all.
&herefore, in obedience to the laws of health, I learned to ride.
Exercise 0
/ount the verbs in one of the passages in Exercise #" 1hen categori%e them into linking
verbs and more vivid action verbs, and calculate the ratio" Do the same for several
paragraphs of our own writing" Are ou reling more on linking verbs, or are most of our
verbs direct and precise action verbs-