Counseling Connection

By Gwen Travelstead, Social Worker

Copeland Manor School
September 2014
October is National Bullying Awareness/Prevention Month
Next month, we will be learning about bullying and what it is and what it is not. Over the years, I have heard
the word bullying be used very loosely to describe situations, which may or may not be bullying. More
recently, it has been used to describe every hurt, slight, thoughtless, mean word uttered or unkind act done to
others.
Without a doubt, it is difficult to see your child in pain because of something another child did to them. When
they hurt, we as parents hurt too. However, when we call too many incidents, bullying, when it's not really
bullying, kids miss out on a chance to learn to cope with and problem solve conflicts on their own. Further, we
undermine our own confidence in them to be good problem-solvers and figure things out on their own.
So, What ARE the differences between peer conflict, mean behavior and bullying?
Peer Conflict
Conflict between peers is a normal
part of growing up. Children will
have times when they disagree.
They may even become so upset
that they say mean things or act
out by hitting, kicking or trying to
hurt their peer.
If it is a peer conflict, you will see
that these children tend to want to
play together, have equal power
(size, age, social status etc), are
equally upset, are both interested
in resolving the issue, and that they
will be able to work things out with
or without adult help.
Mean Behavior
Children may try out behaviors
to assert themselves, or act
impulsively, which may include
saying or doing unkind things such
as making fun of others, using a
hurtful name, taking something
without permission, acting in a
physically aggressive way, or
leaving a child out.
If it is mean behavior, usually,
we will see It is not planned
and seems to happen more
spontaneously or by chance, it
may be aimed at any child who is
nearby. The child being mean may
feel badly when an adult points out
the harm they have caused
Bullying
Bullying is serious behavior that
has four key features. All four
must be present for the situation to
be considered bullying:
Power imbalance, Intentional
Repeated over time and It aims to
harm or hurt another person
If it is bullying behavior, you will
typically see:
-Repeated acts of verbal, physical
or relational aggression
-Intentional harm to the victim
-The victim will feel bad, but the
bully doesnt seem to care
-The bully is trying to gain
something such as power, status,
friends, or possessions
-The bully does not take
responsibility and may not try to
solve the problem
Please join us on MONDAY, October 6
th
in support of WORLD DAY of Bullying Prevention by wearing blue to
show your support by standing together to send a message that all young people deserve to be treated with
kindness and respect.
Please join us on WEDNESDAY, October 22
nd
, in support of National Unity Day by wearing orange in which
we will stand together as a nation to support a stand against bullying and continue the message of hope,
respect and unity.