Zoe Fox

UWRT 1103
November 11, 2014
Down Draft
In the Beginning
The day that has forever changed my life all started when I heard the words your dad has had an
affair. A typical February day had turned upside down within a few minutes of leaving school.
My parents continued to fight and scream for hours until my mom finally forced my dad to leave.
After a full year of separation my mother filed for a divorce to make the separation final. Ever
since that day I have seen so many different changes in my mom. On some days I can tell that
she is lonely and very depressed, but on other days I see happiness and freedom. I have also been
able to witness a change in the relationship with my siblings. My brothers have become more
distant from both me and my parents because they move back and forth every week. I, on the
other hand, only live and talk to my mom so we have been able to become so much closer. In just
this short amount of time a divorce has already had such a large effect on my family. Every
member of the family has been psychologically effected by the divorce in some way whether it
be positive or negative. In our society today, divorce can be seen as both a positive and negative
decision based on different factors that go into the divorce. Many different psychological effects
can stem from a divorce that have the ability to affect someone for the rest of their life. My
personal belief is that divorce should never be seen as an easy way out but in some cases it can
be necessary. The lyrics from Shadow of the Day state that Sometimes solutions arent so
simple, sometimes goodbyes the only way (Linkin Park). These lyrics show that sometimes a
divorce is the only thing that can solve a couples problems. Even though a divorce is not the

ultimate plan after a marriage, it is something that our society could not go on without. Having
people forced to be in unhappy relationships would only cause more problems. With this being
said, I am still unsure about the need for divorces and the view on what is an acceptable divorce.
I feel as though they can take away from the importance of a marriage because people will think
that even if it does not work out they can always just get a divorce. Society also has different
views on a divorce based on if it is due to adultery, loss of love, or an abusive relationship. Every
factor changes the reasoning behind the divorce and this can effect whether the divorce is
accepted as reasonable or not.

Some Things Are For the Better

Most of society sees divorce as a negative experience. This may be true for a lot of situations but
every now and then you can find that divorce was a positive experience for someone. If the
relationship between the parents was always positive and the divorce was mutual, then the
divorce can end up having a positive effect. Having a divorce can allow the people in that
relationship to feel freedom and independence again. Clark-Stewart claims that divorce benefits
people, leading to more autonomy and personal growth, improved career opportunities, richer
social lives, better parenting, and improved self-confidence (76). Some people can find that
marriage was not for them and that they need to move on in their life for the better. Why should
someone have to stay in a relationship and marriage if they will be better off without it? I do not
believe that divorce should become an easy out for couples, but in specific circumstances they
can be necessary. In the end I feel that everyone needs to be happy, it just may take some
experience and a divorce before someone can reach that happiness. The positive effects of
divorce can cause someone to gain psychological viewpoints on their life. They begin to see life

form a whole new positive view and are able to move on and be successful without the burden of
a failing marriage.

The Down-Side
Divorce can cause negative effects for both adults and children. Adults will suffer from different
effects like: depression, stress, loneliness, and loss of self-confidence. Most divorced adults
either end up quickly remarrying someone because they cannot handle the loneliness, or staying
single because theyve lost trust in others and love. Children will suffer from effects such as:
denial, abandonment, anger, depression, immaturity, and guilt. Even though divorce can have a
negative effect on everybody, it definitely effects children on a larger and long term scale. I
come from a divorced family and can openly say that it has caused major stress, depression, and
trust issues for me and the divorce happened when I was 17. It causes someone to really rethink
the idea of a lifetime partner and lose faith in the reality of a lasting marriage. Whitton states that
many young adults from divorced familiesbelieve that couples do not have the ability to
overcome marital conflicts (paragraph 2). These kids also have to deal with the separation of
parents and the stress of having to either choose one parent over the other, or constantly moving
every other week to see both parents. Huurre says that it is possible that parental divorce can set
in motion a chain of indirect stressful reactions and circumstances that affect an individual in
their later life (6). This means that a divorce not only effects the adults but can also cause a
negative effect in the children that can change their view of love and marriage later on in life. A
divorce has the power to destroy someones view on love for the rest of their life, whether it be a
child or an adult.

A Female Thing
Divorce has an effect on both sexes but studies have shown that it has a greater effect on women
and girls. Women are said to be more emotional than men which causes them to suffer more
extreme effects form a divorce. A study by Whitton shows that women whose parents had
divorced reported lower relationship commitment and less confidence in the future of their
marriages than did women from non-divorced families (Paragraph 3). Females see divorce as a
failed attempt at love and allow this to affect the future of their love lives, or lack thereof. Men,
on the other hand, do not show strong effects by things such as divorce because they are less
emotional than women. Men will begin to suffer from things like loneliness and lack of physical
attraction which will cause them to seek another relationship. This is why men are more likely to
remarry or to remarry quicker than women. Women will spend a longer time sulking in the
divorce and letting it emotional affect them, while men grow lonely and begin to search for
someone new to satisfy the loss. Women tend to suffer through a lot of different emotional states
after a divorce. Why are women more emotional than men? A research articles states that
Women typically have a larger limbic system than men, which makes them more in touch and
expressive with their emotions (fitbrains). Because women are more in touch with their
emotions, they will express stronger emotional responses to a divorce through crying,
depression, and stress. Every person deals with things in different ways so why should women
have to suffer more from a divorce just because they are more emotional. I believe that society
should take a step back and see the overall effect that divorce is having and how it can be
changing future generations views on love and marriage.

Works Cited
Clark-Stewart, Alison, and Cornelia Brentano. Divorce Causes and Consequences. Yale
University and Press, 2006. 67-105. Print. 19 Oct. 2014.
"Gender & the Brain: Differences between Women & Men." Fit Brains Blog. N.p., na. Web. 11
Nov. 2014.
Huurre, T, H Junkkari, and H Aro. "Long-term Psychosocial Effects of Parental Divorce."
European Archives of Psychiatry and Clinical Neuroscience. 256.4 (2006): 256-263.
Academic Search Complete. Web. 20 Oct. 2014.
Whitton, SW, GK Rhoades, SM Stanley, and HJ Markman. "Effects of Parental Divorce on
Marital Commitment and Confidence." Journal of Family Psychology : Jfp : Journal of
the Division of Family Psychology of the American Psychological Association (division
43). 22.5 (2008): 789-93. Journal of Family Psychology, PsycARTICLES. Print. 18 Oct.
2014.