Virtual Relationships

Megan Sirrine
12/4/2014
Comm 2500

We live in a virtual world. As a society we are constantly being controlled by our

electronics. Individuals are connected through their cell phones, the internet, gaming
systems, and even television. So you might ask yourself, what appears to be the
problem? While being connected to your electronics might not seem like a bad thing,
ultimately this has led to individuals not being able to form proper relationships with
their peers or people in general. Because of this connection with our devices we are now
creating what is known as virtual relationships.
If you had the opportunity to change yourself, to be someone else, would you take
it? The answer for many individuals in our society is, yes. If an individual is struggling
in their own life, if they arent gaining the friendships or relationships that they are in
need of, then people have begun what is known as Second Life an online social
network dealing with virtual reality. Second Life provides individuals the opportunity
to become someone other than who they are in real life. (Anstadt 172) Individuals can
start this second life through many online resources, things like online gaming, dating
sites, and even chat rooms. By pretending to be someone new on these sites users can
then gain those relationships that they are missing on a face to face level. There isnt
that fear of having to prove yourself or talk about who you really are because you get to
be someone else.
If two users feel a connection online then a new relationship is formed. Anstadt
continues by saying, Second Life has been found to be a forum for tangibly enhancing
quality of student learning by creating an experience which includes multi-sensory
environments. (161) So despite the fact that individuals are creating this type of new
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identity Anstadt believes that virtual relationships can be a type of learning experience
because it allows you to create worlds, and characters that you have to use your
intelligence and imagination.

With a virtual body comes the creation of an online identity, and the merging or
separation of aspects of the physical reality of self. (Peachey, Childs 4) When people
create these new identities online for themselves, they risk losing who they really are.
When an individual gets so caught up in their own virtual reality they dont realize that
those friendships and relationships that they have online arent the same as having that
face-to-face contact. Essentially, virtual worlds are not simply about the creation of a
3D computer world; the use of avatars mean they are about the creation of a 3D
computer generated us. (Peachey 29) A big part of creating a virtual relationship could
potentially be gaining a new virtual relationship with yourself seeing as you are building
a new you, individuals become easily connected with the characters they create even
creating friendships with them.
Another important factor to consider when referring to virtual friendships is
thinking about virtual relationships in the sense of physical attraction or potential
partners. Online dating is one of the most popular outlets to find a potential partner in
our society today. It is a concept that many individuals have discovered as they have
attempted to progress in their dating lives. In 2006 a group of psychologist created a
study begging the question, Does virtual intimacy exist? This particular study
examined the levels of intimacy found by individuals in both face to face relationships as
well as virtual romantic relationships.
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After running tests with a specific group of individuals the phycologists found,
Our virtual relators reported less intimacy in their face-to-face relationships compared
to the levels of intimacy established in the face-to-face relationships of the traditional
relators. (Scott, Mottarella, Lavooy 760) The traditional relators being the individuals
who believe in traditional forms of meeting individuals and dating, while the virtual
relators believed in meeting potential suitors online in a virtual way.
Ultimately these individuals discovered, Potential theorized benefits of
computer-mediated communication includes- greater self-disclosure, increased access
to each other, and the possibility of sexual attraction developing out of genuine
emotional connectedness rather than superficial physical attraction . (Scott 760) So
while you might be able to gain those relationships on a deeper level by experiencing
online dating or virtual relationships individuals felt they did not experience that same
intimacy because they were not learning about the other person on a physical level. With
that being said, it is up to the user to decide what type of relationship they are looking
for, if an individual wants to have a connection on a deeper mental level then perhaps a
virtual relationship is the way to go, if an individual is looking for a more personal
physical connection that allows one on one time then that relationship is created by
having a traditional relationship with face-to-face connection.
While it is important to gain relationships either on an intimate or personal level
there has been many dangers developing when individuals gain these relationships
virtually. The internets influence is permeating our daily lives. As people spend time
on the internet to play, learn, and work it is not surprising that they are forming
relationships with whom they are interacting. (Cooper ix) And as individuals are
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forming these relationships online they are also taking risks in their personal lives
because of this.
In this fast moving world, feelings of intimacy can develop in a flash and easily
transition to sexual innuendo, all too often, virtual sex winds up having a dramatic
impact on real-life romantic relationships. (Cooper ix) While the internet is an
important resource and you can gain those healthy relationships it is also a resource that
can put many individuals at risk. Love blooms wherever people gather, and so the
internet has become the dating center for a global population of romantics, freed of
limitations posed by physical bodies, identities, reputations, or accountability. (Maheu
xvii) Connections made through the internet can be excellent resources when they are
used properly. You can form those relationships in an instant when you are blocked by
physical limitations or inhibitors that people use to judge you. It is crucial to maintain
good judgment and integrity when determining whether you should start these virtual
relationships or not.
Being connected through our electronics isnt always a bad thing. Relationships
can be formed virtually and it can actually help individuals gain those new friendships
and relationships that they need in their life. Ultimately gaining healthy virtual
relationships is all up to the person seeking those friendships. The risk of these
relationships comes from individuals not really being who they say they are, or by
breaking relationships that they have already made in reality. As a society we need to
take precautions when we are communicating with others. Far too often individuals
become too easily trusting of people they meet online, people share personal things too
soon and put themselves at risk when they automatically trust the person they are
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talking to. Because we are a society caught up in technology we have also been known to
seek relationships of the opposite sex for potential marital partners. Studies have shown
that intimate relationships are not found as much through these relationships as they
are found in face-to-face contact. Virtual relationships are not something that are going
to end anytime soon, in fact more than likely this concept will do nothing but increase.
As a society we are ever increasing with our internet and technology usage so when we
are discovering these new methods to communicate with one another online we are only
progressing further on this path towards virtual relationships. Could we improve? Of
course, if individuals chose to create face to face relationships instead of always hiding
behind technology then we would be able to create actual relationships instead of virtual
ones, but virtual relationships arent a bad thing, it is simply a new way of gaining
friendships.

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Bibliography
Anstadt, Scott P.1 Shannon Bradley, and Ashley Burnette. Virtual Worlds:
Relationships Between Real Life And Experience in Second Life. (International review
of Research in Open & Distance Learning (2013) Education Full Text (H.W Wilson)
Maheu, Marlene M., and Rona Subotnik. Infidelity on the Internet: Virtual
Relationships and Real Betrayal. Naperville, Ill.: Source, 2001. Print. Foreword by
Alvin Cooper
Peachey, Anna, and Mark Childs. Reinventing Ourselves: Contemporary Concepts of
Identity in Virtual Worlds Contemporary Concepts of Identity in Virtual Worlds. New
York: Springer, 2011. Print.
Veronica M. Scott, Karen E. Mottarella, and Maria J. Lavooy. CyberPsychology &
Behavior. December 2006, 9(6): 759-761. doi:10.1089/cpb.2006.9.759. Published
in Volume: 9 Issue 6: January 4, 2007

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