Carol Ashey

ENGL 491
Dr. Land
November 2, 2014
THESIS PRESENTATION SCRIPT
Good Evening! Im Carol Ashey and the title of my presentation is Looking Behind Me: How
Identity, Society, Literature, and Education Effect Disability. The reason why I titled it Looking Behind
Me has to do with accommodations Ive had in school. As many of you know, Im hard of hearing, and
one of the accommodations in the classroom for someone with a hearing loss is preferential seating.
This means the HH person must sit where they will get the most information from the teacher. For me,
this was in the front row of the classroom. I have always sat directly in the front in my classrooms at
school. I called my title Looking behind me because I never knew who sat behind me in class. I knew who
sat on either side of me, but never behind. Also, the journey Ive had writing/making this project has
forced me to look back on my life up until this moment. Where do you fit it? Do you see yourself
represented in society? In education? In literature? Is that representation accurate or is it stereotypical?
Do you know what makes you you? Who tells your story? Do you? Or is it someone else? These and
other questions relate to a very specific populationpeople with disabilities. It is also questions like
these that prompted me in my research for this project.
The first aspect I noticed while doing my research for this topic was that my disability was not
there. It quite literally, did not exist. What mention there was on the HH was relegated to a few
sentences, as an extension of deafness, or how easily they fit in both worlds so it wasnt much of a
concern. A whole section devoted to the HH was rare. During one class, Dr. Land suggested that I look
into the scholarly field of Disability Studies. I was surprised at first, to learn that such a field of study
existed; it ended up being the exact platform I needed to present my findings. Disability Studies focuses
on how disability is defined in a society as well as represented. This thesis is my representation, my
story. The story of someone who is HH, not d/Deaf and how that story is just as important.

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(identity slide here) I began by asking the question of what makes me, me? This led to the
creation of the section on Identity. One of the first things I figured out was that the identity section
provided the framework for the rest of the sections; more importantly that all of my strands were
interrelated. To me, Identity consists of four factors; they are a persons spirit, their personality, family,
and environment/influences. The first being spirit, and the second being personality, which pertain to a
persons relationship with God. As a Christian, I believe that God endows us with a spirit that connects
us to Him, and that there are specific gifts granted to us so that we may serve Him. I also believe that
God gives us specific personalities that make us unique. The third factor is family, which helps shape
who a person is in relation to others, and the fourth is environment/influences. For me, my family is also
my environment as well as an influence, so they encompass a large part of who I am as a person and
how I see the world. However, there is one part of me that until this year, I had not thought an
important part of who I am-- my disability. Disability has always been a part of my life, I just did not
always acknowledge how much was effected by it; it was not the most important part of who I was as a
person until now.
Since Ive described the components of identity, where does disability fall within those
components? I am placing disability under environment/influences because it has impacted
every aspect of my life, as well as the world around me and how I view society. What I did not know in
full was how society viewed others like me, other people with disabilities. I had a vague idea, but
nothing in depth. (DS slide here) Kim E. Nielsens A Disability History of the United States goes in depth,
but it shows just how unsuccessful that population was and still is. One aspect that is being discussed
among Disability Studies scholars is what it means to be successful in society with a disability. This
depends on the persons disability and severity of that disability; for example, someone with a physical
disability needs ramps, elevators, and automatic doors in order to successfully get around. Likewise, the

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d/Deaf and HH need closed captions, captionists, and sign language interpreters so they can have the
same access to information; DS scholars are also working on moving away from negative definitions to
positive ones.
First of all, what does it mean to be abled? This definition stems from history as someone who
is normal. In this case an abled person has full command of their five senses (sight, hearing, smell,
taste, touch), as well as bodily functions and develops both mentally and physically at the same rate as
his or her peers. Abled children hit the developmental milestones when they are supposed to and go
through the phases of life as theyre supposed to. However, this definition does not describe me, nor
does it describe many others. What, then, qualifies a person with disabilities as successful?
The Deaf Community is full of people who all know sign language in one form or another and
who all to some extent grew up with or around Deafness. The community is close, many of its members
having attended schools for the Deaf as children. Social success to the Deaf, then, is having a sense of
community. Likewise, hearing people share a sense of community through music, radio, film, and social
media. (hearing chart here) But what if you are hard of hearing? You are not completely d/Deaf, nor
are you completely hearing. You do not use sign language, but you do not catch all of the conversation
either. In which group would you fit? The answer in neither, at least, not completely; having a hearing
loss makes you invisible (to an extent). To give you an idea of what that is like, I will now read a poem I
write in high school about the topic, which you received as a handout.

HARD OF HEARING
I cant hear you. What? Speak up!
Ha ha ha! Yeah, thats funny! I have no idea what you said
Whatd he say? Whatd she say?
Didnt anybody hear me?
Someone calls me. What? Oh, it wasnt me you called

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Carol! What?
Ive called you five times!
Im sorry! I didnt hear you!
Whats that in your ear? A hearing-aid
Can I see it? Can I try it on?
No! Its not for decoration okay?
I can hear, just not very well
Hearing impaired is politically incorrect
Its hard of hearing
Hearing world. Deaf world. Do I fit in either?
Yes because I can hear, no because I cant
Yes because I cant hear, no because I can
SIGN I LEARN I SPEAK WITH HANDS BEAUTIFUL
HARD-OF-HEARING WHO? HARD-OF-HEARING ME
MUSIC LISTEN I
See me sign! Watch me! Accept me!
Whats it like to hear? Do you hear everything?
I dont.
You can hear what they said and laugh
I laugh because you are
I didnt hear what they said
What did they say?
Nothing
Never mind
ButI want to know. I want to know what they said
Accents, mumbling, not speaking up. Laughing.
Whatd they say?
Oh! I get it! Ha ha ha! Im the only one laughing because everyone else got it.
You take your hearing for granted
How would you feel if you were me?
I want to know what its like to hear
Even with my hearing aids in and turned to the loudest setting I still cant hear completely
Whats it like? Whats it like?
Ill never know
At least, not while Im on Earth.
Some of the things I share with the hearing world are listening to music and the radio, and
things I share with the Deaf world are ASL and closed captioning on films and television. People are

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often surprised to learn that I have a hearing loss, largely because I dont sound like a Deaf person when
I speak. This is because I started losing my hearing around the age of four, after I had acquired language.
There will always be situations where I cannot hear best; they are usually situations and events that
attract a lot of people, like music concerts, restaurants, sporting events, and amusement parks.
While hearing aids do amplify sounds, they do not make specific sounds clearer. It is harder for me as a
person with a hearing loss to tune out background noise, like chatter from a food court or cafeteria.
How does someone with a hearing loss get by in a crowded, loud, keep-up-with-the-pace world? It is in
no way easy. There are a number of ways that I will need to advocate for myself in order to be
successful as a person with a hearing loss. The first is no bluffing; bluffing means acting like I understand
what someone has said when I really did not. Marcia B. Dugan lists in her book Living with Hearing Loss
a number of tips for improving communication. Some of these are asking people to get my attention
before speaking to me, facing me when they speak, not covering their mouth, and speaking slowly and
clearly. This is, in a way, naming and claiming a part of who I am as a person with disabilities.
But what does it mean to name and claim? it means you have an understanding of your
individual experiences as a part of what makes you unique/who you are; this is especially important in
literature because the characters must do the same. If you do this, it gives authenticity to the writing).
How many of you have read a book with a disabled person as the main character? How many of you
have read a book with a disabled character in it in school? I remember one; it was in elementary school.
It was a story about a rabbit with a hearing loss. Because of that memory, I expected it to be really hard
to find literature with HH characters; but this was surprisingly the easiest. I found many, but only four
really stayed with me. (book collage slide here) Disability Studies scholars are pushing for people with
disabilities to write their own stories and experiencesthey must also name and claim so that character
portrayal of people with disabilities can be accurate and positive. The reasons for changing character

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portrayal in literature are many, but the most common one is to break the current stereotypes. Another
is to point out that the way a character is represented, disabled or not, has an impact on how real
people, with or without disabling conditions, are viewed by society. If character representation is
important in literature, especially concerning characters with disabilities, how would one tell which
books portray disability in a positive light? What standards would there be and how would they be met?
In her article Childrens Literature That Includes Characters with Disabilities or Illness, Joan
Blaska states that Perhaps no group has been as overlooked and inaccurately presented in children's
books as individuals with disabilities. Most often they were not included in stories and when they were,
many negative stereotypes prevailed such as characters who were pitiful or pathetic, evil or
superheroes, or a burden and incapable of fully participating in the events of everyday life (Biklen and
Bogdan, 1977). Often the difference or disability was the main personality trait emphasized to the
reader, not a balance of strengths and weaknesses (Blaska & Lynch, 1994). The goal of her article is to
inform her readers that how a person with disabilities is portrayed in literature has an impact on how
they are viewed in reality. Blaska suggests that the criterion for characters with disabilities needs to
change in order to make literature more inclusive and informative. Blaska gives 10 points for gauging
what a text involving a character should include. (10 pts slide here)
Since I have read multiple texts involving characters with disabilities, I can say that the portrayal
of the main characters in all of the texts except for one, meets most of these requirements. The one that
does not, is Suzanne Collins The Hunger Games. When I read The Hunger Games for the first time, I was
surprised to read that Katniss lost her hearing. I was not expecting that, and reading about a character
whose ears were ringing and who could not hear out of her left ear was instantly relatable to me. The
one fact about Katnisss hearing loss verses all of the other characters I read about, is that in her case
the hearing loss is portrayed as a tragic thing, following stereotypes of deaf and hard of hearing people.

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However, given the situation that Katniss was in, it definitely was a hardship for her, having always had
perfect hearing and needing it because of her hunting skills. What caught my attention the most when I
read that chapter was the descriptions Collins used to describe how the sudden hearing loss made
Katniss feel. I cant adjust to deafness in the ear. It makes me feel off-balanced and defenseless to my
left. Blind even. (228) Welcome to my world. Collins portrayal of Katniss sudden hearing loss
continues the stereotype that characters with disabilities were either something to be feared, pitied, or
learned from, sometimes all at once. There is also another interesting aspect to note: Collins is hearing;
yet she writes about a hearing loss. If a character is deaf or hard of hearing, then shouldnt the author
have the same experiences? Questions like this are part of what Disability Studies is trying to address in
literature today. On a positive note, character portrayal of persons with disabilities is moving away from
fearful, pitiable, and learned from cases to characters that are whole. By whole I mean the character is
first and foremost a person, the disability plays a secondary role as part of what makes that character
unique. Characters with disabilities are also striving to move towards acceptance in some form, of their
disability. Reading about characters who have a disability is important because it provides a model.
Finding a model of ourselves in literature when we read is important because it is someone to relate to;
this is even more important for students with disabilities. The fact that this literature does not exist in
the classroom says that students with disabilities are not important. (education/speak quote slide here)
The current debate that DS (Disability Studies) holds with education partially revolves around
the inclusion process, which is currently implemented in American public schools. (DSE conference
article reference/quote here) Inclusion states that all students, including those with disabilities, should
be included with their able bodied peers in the same classes. The goal of inclusion is to make disability
less frightening and unknown. In short, if people interact with others who have disabilities on a daily
basis, then people with disabilities are less scary to be around. I thought about my own experiences, I

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realized that inclusion does not work; at least not in all cases. In the book Creating Inclusive Classrooms
by Spencer J. Salend, the book stated a statistic that inclusion involving students with disabilities more
successful in the Primary grades than in the Secondary grades as students in elementary school were
generally more accepting of students with disabilities. This wasnt the case in high school as students
tended to migrate towards the various social groups that are most like them.
One of the problems with the way that special education is set up in the schools, is that they
are physically isolated from the rest of the school, which inhibits inclusion and leads back to
institutionalized ableist thinking. The other problem I have with the inclusion process is that, while it
works in an ideal world where peoples differences are accepted, and differing educational needs are
met, if the teacher has to teach students of all kinds with different learning styles and different paces,
then inclusion makes this a nightmare. It would end up in the horrific area of teaching to the middle,
where to save time the teacher teaches to those who are average paced, but those who learn slower are
left behind, and those who learn faster are left bored with nothing to do. In my opinion, inclusion works
depending on what a persons disability is, and how severe it is. For example, I was in self-contained
classes in elementary school and in regular mainstreamed classes in middle and high school. The selfcontained classes of elementary school were isolating for me because I spoke like a hearing person
versus my more deaf speaking classmates, and From middle school onward I was the only HH person in
the school; at least I thought that until my senior year of high school when I learned there was another
HH girl who was taking the same ASL class as me. Knowing that I had not been the only one frustrated
me because I had missed out on a potential relationship.
In my ideal case, I think I would have had the best education where the pace was slow and oneon-one with mathematics, high functioning and fast with English, and regular paced with all the other
subjects. I also think that had my parents been informed about all of the educational options for me and

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how my hearing loss impacts spoken communication, I would have gone to a school for the Deaf and
become fluent in ASL. So what does all of this mean? It means that everyone needs to see themselves
represented--represented in literature, represented in education and represented in society.
Representation of persons with disabilities (HH and otherwise) will lead to a more inclusive society and
system of education, and an authentic literature from those whose lives are differently abled. The point
is that disability is influenced by everything just as much as identity. How a person views life also reflects
on how they view persons with disabilities. Your life is your identity, your society, your literature, your
education (your ISLE), and you represent yourself, your voice, your story.