MWA 1 Revision Cover Letter

*NOTE: Genre Revision Cover Letter Precedes This Letter

Dear Professor Larsen,

I have made several changes in my first Major Writing Assignment including both major
and minor revisions. I addressed several surface features such as grammatical errors found
throughout the memorandum. In addition, in areas where information was not completely
explicated, I expanded on my ideas and supported my statements in an attempt to better enforce
my writing and principles. Furthermore, I continued on to make extensive revisions by adjusting
the tone of the piece as well as altering the vocabulary. I revised my memorandum based on your
comments and my personal realizations in an attempt to better my writing assignment in entirety.
In terms of surface area revisions, I corrected minor grammar mistakes and reconstructed
my sentences in some areas. For example, I extracted and or added sentences and or simple
commas and colons, from areas of my work. Also, I changed words such as sights to their
appropriate meaning in relation to this particular context of the assignment to sites. Also, I
altered my word phrases from in an attempt to prove to you and you have advised me to to
expressions such as I strongly encourage you and I advise you to. I further explained appeals
such as logos, pathos, and ethos in an attempt to better connect my ideas. By making these minor
alterations in my memorandum, my work was more concise, easily understood, and thorough.
In an attempt to take my revision to the next level I made the executive decision to shift
the tone. More precisely, the point of view altered from an employee making a pitch to her boss,
to an employer providing an exemplary ALS video for the employee to utilize as a model. I
chose to do so in order to illustrate how a simple shift in tone affects an entire piece of work as
well as the audience for, there is a different meaning and intent behind the memorandum. Due to
the alteration in tone, the vocabulary was modified as well: a more formal context was utilized in
the revision expressing the superiority of the employer over the employee. Furthermore, the
vocabulary and phrases utilized reflect on the change in relationship and tone from employer to
employee. By using more of a commanding tone, the employer illustrates the fact that he
possesses power over his employee and expects a lot from her. The vocabulary played a part in
changing the tone of the memorandum by illustrating the superior role the employer has over the
employee.

Making such revisions not only strengthened my Major Writing Assignment, but my
writing skills in entirety. I have the ability to vary my writing style through tone, mediums, and
genres. In turn, the work I compose in the future reflects the writing skills I gained from English
Composition III. Overall, the revision of my MWA 1 was a success.

Sincerely,

Madi Burns

MWA 2 Revision Cover Letter

Dear, Professor Larsen,
As a requirement for our Final Portfolio assignment, I made a genre revision of my
second Major Writing Assignment: the Urban Legend Documentary. As opposed to simply
revising the documentary itself, I transformed the video into a paper based document. More
precisely, I utilized the information presented in the documentary, converting it into a brochure.
Resultantly, several revisions occurred thus altering the medium, angle, and intended audiences
of the urban legend itself.
Throughout my revision, several aspects of the documentary were edited and reassessed.
I took out several portions of the documentary such as recorded interviews, voice memos, and
other video footage. In turn, I replaced said characteristics with paper based information. More
precisely, I reflected on the history, origin, and accounts of the legend through writing as
opposed to video technology. Although I altered the medium in which I presented my
assignment, the information covered still addressed and illustrated the urban legend of
BunnyMan in an appropriate manner.
The pamphlet altered both the angle, as well as the audience the information was
presented to. Originally, the documentary was intended to demonstrate an informative piece
which could be accessed by the average individual through the internet or on television.
However, once transformed into a brochure, although informative, the urban legend was utilized
as a means of income in the form of BunnyMan Tours resultantly altering the angle and
redirecting the attention towards a more narrow audience; tourists. However, the tone remains
the same in both the pamphlet and documentary based forms for, the legend allures to peoples
fears thus bringing curiosity and interest to the piece in entirety.
I pondered every aspect of my pamphlet, ensuring that the colors, pictures, and
information presented, enticed the audience. For instance, I utilized a pamphlet template that
possessed a darker and more alluring look: the faded black border and dark background of the
pages sets the mood for my topic (the urban legend). Furthermore, the pictures, such as the
disturbing BunnyMan holding a blood-stained axe, as well as the ominous tunnel illustrated
within the brochure, further support the malevolent theme of the legend of Bunnyman. Likewise,
the background and history demonstrated provide insight to the legend, as curiosity arises within

the audience. People are more apt to be interested in the legend due to the fact that the theme and
mood of the pamphlet directly reflect that of Bunnyman.
I chose to transform my documentary into a brochure for several reasons. For one, the brochure
enabled me to express my creativity in an alternative way. The very design of the brochure
appeals to specific audiences bringing interest to the information presented. Also, brochures are
more easily accessible due to the fact that one can find them in a variety of areas ranging from
doctors offices to hotels as opposed to documentaries.
Overall, I met the requirements of the genre revision. However, certain areas of my revision can
be improved. For example, if I had spent more time on the basic effects of the pamphlet, the
urban legend of Bunnyman, as well as the information on the legend would have been better
represented. Also, if I had altered aspects such as my elevated vocabulary and sentence structure
to a more informal and personal syntax, I would have appealed to my audience more thoroughly.