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Melissa Escamilla
Professor Ditch
English 113A
24 September 2014
Composing Gender Essay
Gender is a very common topic, but there is much more to know about gender
than just feminism and masculinity. From the articles by Judith Lorber Night to His
Day: The Social Construction of Gender and Aaron Devor Becoming Members of
Society: The Social Meanings of Gender we are shown how there is much more to know
behind gender construction. These authors argue that gender is socially constructed and
how we conform to it. When gender should be the way we choose to perform it out in
public. Why is this even a problem we may ask ourselves, some say it is and some say it
isnt. Many people dont even realize that this is going on in the world and simply go
with it. I will be talking about, how society has socially constructed gender in our modern
world today, from my own experience. A common theme shared between both of these
articles is how society has set standards for gender construction, and people conform to it
to avoid being discriminated.
Since the day we are born, the way we develop our gender begins. We first
become identified as a female or male, and we are expected to act or grow up a certain
way according to the genetalia that we possess at birth. Weve already been placed in
categories of either feminism or masculinity, as easy as that. Our parents are in charge of
making our sex identity clear for all to see. So at a young age we have such a huge
influence from them, because we dont know any better and its simply the way youre

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being raised. As we start to grow it becomes more clear to us the way we are suppose to
act according to our sex. Just like Aaron Devor says in his article, Children begin to
settle into a gender identity between the ages of eighteen months and two years(35).
Devor is giving us an introduction to what age we start to develop these skills of
identifying one another. As members of this modern world society we learn to adapt to
the social norms, by viewing others around us. Gender identity can be very confusing for
some, and others just automatically know where they stand in the world. Now that at a
young age weve developed thinking and reason of how we are suppose to act in our
gender groups, we begin to perfom it.
What many dont realize is that gender is up to us and we shouldnt let ourselves
be discriminated for not conforming to these social norms. Performing masculinity and
femininity should be entirely up to us. Women are expected to be more feminine and
girly rather than being tough or masculine. The same goes for the men they are
expected to look a certain way or be more aggressive and masculine than the females. In
society this is constantly changing, now a days. We dont realize it but the people around
us can influence the way we develop our gender identity. Judith Lorber says that, Most
people find it hard to believe that gender is constantly created and re-created out of
human interaction, out of social life, and is the texture and order of that social life(19).
What Lorber is trying to show us is that we possess the power to change and create our
gender. We can choose to be a feminine male or a masculine female, it is constantly
being changed in society these days. Just like when I was younger my mother
automatically said, Since I am a girl I will wear pink. My mother saw how in society
the color pink is more of a feminine color and wanted me to fit in. Growing up I did not

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agree with the way that she tried to dress me up in order to fall under the social norms.
Ive always been the girl to wear more of the darker shades of colors. For instance my
favorite colors have always been green and black. My mother did not agree with my
choices of clothing and was upset by my decisions. I guess you can say that I was a
tomboy as society would label it, this was seen as rebellious to my family. To me it
was simply just a way of expressing myself and the way I felt comfortable, was by
wearing darker, loose fitting clothes. The point in my personal story is that, you dont
have to dress a certain way just because society implies it. Gender is always being
changed and we are the ones that get to choose how to perform our gender identities to
the world. People around us being influences on this makes it even more easy to change
the way we act, because we say to ourselves if he/she is doing it, then why cant I?
This isnt so much of a complex matter, it all just depends on whom you surround
yourself and sometimes it depends on the place that you live at. Social life has so much to
do with the way we act or the impressions we give off to the world. No one wants to be
discriminated against, so people observe how others are and emulate their ways.
The world is a huge place full of change everywhere we go. Things change all
around us from time to time and we either notice it or not. There are specific gender
performances in society that have been approved of and then there are some that havent.
In Judith Lorbers article she points out how roles have changed, Gendered roles
change- today fathers are taking care of little children, girls and boys are wearing unisex
clothing and getting the same education, women and men are working at the same
job(21). As we can see the tables are now being turned in society and people are
becoming more and more approving of these changes. Back in the day we would see that

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women were the ones that typically took care of the children and cleaned the household.
In our generations of today we now see how that has changed, and how men are seen
taking care of their children more often. This goes with what Devor is also trying to say,
Femininity according to this traditional formulation, would result in warm and
continued relationships with men, a sense of maternity, interest in caring for children, and
the capacity to work productively and continuously in female occupations(40). None of
this applies in society anymore, women work in the same jobs as men. Where as back
then a female was not allowed the same rights as a male, we have come a long way from
that. Females are now becoming more educated, and that has resulted in the
postponement of having children. It was much more common to have a large number of
children in a family back then. Now, families are getting smaller and smaller as the years
pass. This has all become approved by society, and therefore it is commonly seen. If this
was not approved by society, things would be like they were years ago.
Just how there are social norms that are approved, there are social norms that still
arent. If a man were to go out at night and leave his children at home with his significant
other, that would be okay. Where if the woman left her children at home with her
significant other, this would be seen as irresponsible and horrible mother parenting. There
was also a time in my life when I was in high school, that girls were seen as tools. A boy
would have his way with a girl and then there would be rumors of what they did going
around school. It would amaze me how the girl is the one to always be judged, yet the
boy was given props. Even though the world is a constantly changing place, there are
still some traditional ideas placed on woman and men that havent been approved of. We

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as people in this society dont want to go against what is expected of us, to avoid being
discriminated.
To conclude, there are many obstacles that are placed on us whether we are a
female or a male. Gender construction can be a very complex aspect in life, but we just
have to learn to adapt to the way things are. We are automatically placed under a social
norm from birth according to our sex. If we are born a female then we are expected to be
feminine, if we are born a male we are expected to be masculine. Our parents help
construct this and guide us the way we are expected to act, in order to conform to
societies ways. That is why I shared my personal story on how my mom didnt want me
to express myself the way I wanted to. She wanted me to fit in with everyone else, to
avoid attention and avoid going against what society has placed upon females. Gender is
socially constructed, and we have gender roles that have been approved and some that
havent been approved. Like when Lorber shared how men are being seen taking care of
children more often, people wear unisex clothing, and how women are getting employed
at jobs the same as men. The world is changing; some changes are for the better. If a
woman goes out at night rather than being with her child this is seen as irresponsible, but
you never hear of the men being put down for going out at night. Expectations like these
that have not yet been approved in our world today. Judith Lorber and Aaron Devor share
many reasons on how they feel about a socially constructed gender, and the meaning of
society when it comes to gender. We all are have to become a member of this society
whether it is good or bad. Why cant we just go against these social norms for women
and men? Some people do and they are constantly seen as outsiders, because they are
different from the rest. Some people can live with the whole idea of being an outsider,

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and others choose to just stick with how society has constructed gender. The way we
choose to perform our masculinity and femininity is entirely up to us, being discriminated
is not an option to us it just happens. That is the theme shared between both Judith
Lorbers article Night to His Day: The Social Construction of Gender and Aaron
Devors article Becoming Members of Society: The Social Meanings of Gender.