Wu1

Melissa Wu
Professor Adler
STACC ENGLISH 100, Essay #5
November 10, 2014
Summary of My Growth
During this first semester, I faced many challenges in writing and times of not knowing
where my writing would bring me in English 100. Because I came into college with high
expectations, my attitude was that of needing to be best of what I was capable of. But, one thing
is for sure, I gained a positive attitude and respect for English and lost many that I knew would
prevent me from keeping myself motivated to write essays.
At the beginning of the semester, I was terrified going into English 100 because my
experience in high school had shattered the confidence I originally had in writing. Being given
the unknown, much of my first few weeks into the semester were dark and quite energy
absorbing. Much of my concentration was kept on hoping to somehow improve my writing
skills to receive a satisfactory grade on my first essay in the class. My strategy was quite
complicated, as I would say. The time I had in between classes was utilized to working on
English essays, annotating articles, revising those essays. Surprisingly, my only way of being
able to write essays was to be in a quiet environment where I could clearly think, but a new habit
I had picked up recently that has helped me think clearly while writing was listening to music. I
felt I was able to relax more and write freely more easily while also allowing the music to help
my creativity flow on paper. Once I received the grade of my first essay I was extremely
surprised and shocked that my paper was worth an A-. My initial thoughts on writing were that I

Wu1
was only capable of writing a B-C paper, but this first essay really changed my outlook on my
abilities.
From then on after receiving the grade of my first essay, I was really hopeful that my next
essay would be worth a better grade if I chose to work on improving my writing. I made it my
goal to try and reach for that A on Essay #2. My attitude in the class was much more positive
and I actually learned to enjoy writing. While writing the essays, I made sure to use the Norton
Guide for extra guidance, and that alone made such a big difference in my writing. I was able to
structure my essays much better and learn about different strategies to make my essays a lot
stronger. Almost every time I had to go to my English 100 class, I found learning how to write
and discuss articles more enjoyable as time went by. Even though I was strong in writing essays,
I wasnt strong when it came to annotating articles. But, I was slowly starting to develop a
growth mindset. My attitude towards college itself was that of a fixed mindset and that of an
attitude, which thought that my value as a person was only worth a letter grade. The essays have
allowed myself to slowly come out of my comfort zone within my own self and within in the
class. Personally, I felt that I was more responsive in class and to other classmates despite my
inability to speak out in front of the class and in discussions. The same mindset carried into
another class of mine, which was College 1. However, my mindset was much more advanced in
English 100 than in College 1. One thing that held me back from feeling confident in my writing
was the number of articles I had to annotate.
When it came time to annotate articles that were assigned in class, I was a bit more
apprehensive to approach them. Each time I had to annotate an article, I felt I was being graded
on the kinds of opinions I had towards the articles when I wrote in the margins. When class met
up the next day and discussed the articles, I was too shy and embarrassed to share my opinions

Wu1
because I felt that my opinions were nowhere as good as my classmates and that they were quite
unintelligent. Despite my struggles in trying to be more thoughtful while annotating the articles,
it didnt hinder the way I was able to write my essays. Now, when I received my grade for my
second essay, I didnt know what to think.
When I went to grab my second essay from Professor Adler, I was eager and anxious to
see my grade and also what mistakes I could fix for the next essay. I took one glimpse at my
score only for a second because I was afraid of whether my writing had improved or gotten
worse between the first two essays. When I saw an A at the back of the page, I was a bit
surprised, but when I saw a minus sign next to the A, I was a bit disappointed with myself. What
I felt was that my writing neither improved nor worsened. What I got from looking back on this
essay was that there was a lot I had to work on and a lot more that I could do to make my writing
papers much better. The essay that I was most proud of this semester was my second essay. I
felt proud of this essay because it was a much better improvement of my first essay in class and I
felt I was able to revise the essay successfully and incorporate many things I felt would make the
essay more solid. I felt more confident with this essay because of the ideas I was able to
generate and the effort I put into this essay proved to be worthwhile in the end. My main reason
for feeling so confident in this essay was because I felt this was an essay I could be personal with
and tell a life story that would include a lot of details of my past and relate to many of the
concepts I learned in class. The drafting and revision process definitely helped create a game
plan in tackling this essay. Without the time of learning how to draft and revise, I wouldnt
expect to have gotten the grade I received. But, the drafting and revision of my third essay
proved to be filled all sorts of wrong.

Wu1
My struggle I found happened to be with my third essay, which was a literary analysis
essay. My reason for this essay being the hardest to write up was because my weakness lies in
interpreting and explaining different forms of writing. While writing this essay, I often found
myself struggling to articulate my thoughts onto paper and sitting for long periods of time trying
to think of what to write for each paragraph. Repetition was one thing in my essay that I felt I
had a problem staying away from. My confidence dropped quite a bit by the time I had to finish
a draft and prepare it for peer-review. Despite the positive feedback I received from classmates
on my essay, my confidence didnt increase. I was so insecure with my writing that I was even
afraid to turn it in, scared of what my grade would be on this essay. But despite the fear I had, I
still took the positive feedback from the peer-reviewed session and used it to fix my essay before
the final submission. It was then after submitting the final draft of my third essay that I knew
that I would have to work on my insecurity and confidence if I wanted to get far in English 1A.
Much of this first semester was a learning experience and an evaluation of myself as a
student and individual. I hoped that my insecurity wouldnt get the best of me, but I havent
done much to improve it as a whole. I hoped that my confidence would get better from the peerreview sessions I went through, but I realized I have a lot to work on in order to get it a stable
level. I need to learn to annotate and think more critically in the articles I am assigned. My
goals for next semester are to improve my writing skills in preparation of upcoming essays, work
on accepting positive feedback as something good and not bad, and learn to articulate better in
my writing. I plan to tackle these goals by first working on my confidence level and self-esteem
as I currently have none at all. I feel that my confidence and self-esteem are whats stopping me
from learning properly and being the best I can be in class. As long as I continue to work on

Wu1
those two things, I will learn become a brighter student and strive to do my best and whatever is
thrown at me.