Tasha Shermer

Cultural Anthropology
November 30, 2014
Femme is a term used in the LGBT community that denotes either a
gender identity or presentation that is feminine. It does not necessarily mean
that their sex is female, or that they identify as women; individuals whose
sex is male, transgender individuals, and individuals who identify as men
can also be femme. In some cases, femme can be considered a gender in
and of itself. For my research, I chose to attend three (3) meetings of a local
LGBT group called L.A. Fierce Femmes, of which a friend is a member. Each
meeting was approximately four (4) hours long. I was a participant observer
at these meetings, but I did not represent myself as being femme.

I went into this assignment with some knowledge of the group I was
intending to study, because my friend identifies as femme and I do know
other members of the LGBT community. However, I did not have any real indepth experience interacting with members of the femme community as a
whole. In order to prepare myself for my participation, I did a bit of Googling
to get a general idea of what I might be getting into. However, I didnt do too
much research in order to not bias myself beyond what was already present
in terms of assumptions. I dressed a bit more fancyfor example, I wore
the type of makeup I would really only wear if I was going to a club or to
some event. I wore a skirt when I might normally wear jeans. Other than
that, I tried not to force it too much.

Tasha Shermer
Cultural Anthropology
November 30, 2014
The first assumption that was proven false was my assumption that the
members of the group would show less physical affection towards each other
than a group of heterosexual female-identified individuals. In reflection, I
realized this assumption may have stemmed from a belief that the
interactions would resemble a heterosexual male-female friendship, in which
you want to make sure the other doesnt think youre romantically interested
and there is a degree of awkwardness and sexual tension surrounding
physicality. I found the members were in fact much more physically
affectionate towards each other, and that the affection lacked the tension
and awkwardness Ive experienced and noted in heterosexual male-female
friendships. I paid close attention to the body language of the members
when physical affection was shown, and I didnt notice any apparent
misconstruing of intentions. At first, I supposed that might be due to the fact
that they knew each other, but even when new members were introduced to
the group, I didnt sense that type of tension. The members in fact doted on
each other, with two in particular acting as kind of mother figures to the
younger members. Kisses were abundant, and hugs were given out like party
favors I think I was hugged by each member at least once during the
course of each interaction. Even in their interactions with me, I didnt sense
the feelings I might if I was meeting a heterosexual man for the first time.
The affection was purely platonic, and they exuded a sense of genuine
concern for my well-being. If I were to guess at the function such caring and

Tasha Shermer
Cultural Anthropology
November 30, 2014
affection serves, I would liken it to the community feeling I get when in a
group of Black folks. Marginalized groups have to take care of their own, and
when the larger society is a harsh and unwelcoming place towards your
kind, you need communities like this to strengthen ties and back you up
against what sometimes seems like the whole world.

My interaction with one of the members, Patrice, brought up an interesting

topicthe reclaiming of domesticity, or womens work. That tied in with
another topic that was brought up later, which was misogyny in the lesbian
community on the part of butches (the masculine equivalent of the
femme category). Apparently, it is common for the femininity of femmes to
be trivialized or devalued just as women in general are in larger society.
Masculinity is seen as better than femininity. Patrices commentary on
domestic activities such as sewing, cooking, baking, etc. being seen as less
valuable than traditionally male activities like working with tools, automotive
repair, etc. highlighted the fact that even in a subculture such as the LGBT
community, the stratification of the larger society still exists. I found that all
the members I spoke to identified as feminist. If I were to guess, I would say
the percentage of individuals willing to call themselves feminist in the
lesbian community is higher than amongst heterosexual women. There
appears to be less of a backlash against that term.

Tasha Shermer
Cultural Anthropology
November 30, 2014
There is a good deal of frank sexual talk that went on in the meetings, both
in the context of general reproductive health issues such as STDs, and in the
context of recreational sexual activities. As a group that is brought together
due to their sexual marginalization, that did not particularly surprise me.
What did surprise me was the myriad of terms they had to describe various
sexual activities/orientations and gender identitiesterms even I had never
heard. None of the members of the group I spoke to or observed identified
themselves as lesbian. The majority identified as queer, and a few
identified as omnisexual due to their belief that gender is a spectrum and
since there are more than two, bisexual was an exclusionary term. I was
familiar with the term omnisexual prior to this experience. One of the
omnisexual members had a significant other who identified as transgender,
and anothers significant other identified as genderqueer. Genderqueer is a
term used to denote one who is not male or female-identified, and is not
transgender or intersex. I also spoke to a few members who had gone back
and forth between identifying as male and female. The level of open
mindedness regarding genders social construction is high amongst the
community members, and was actually quite refreshing.

In addition to gender fluidity, there is an general acceptance of polyamory as

natural. Patrice, whom I spoke of earlier, stated that she had two significant
others, and that one of the significant others also had another long term

Tasha Shermer
Cultural Anthropology
November 30, 2014
partner while the other continued to date people other than Patrice. I would
personally find that maddening, but the ability to exist in a polyamorous
relationship and avoid jealousy appears to be seen as a noble goal in the
community.

One other observation of note was a discussion I overheard (and then

entered) at my last meeting. A few of the members were discussing femme
invisibility in the LGBT community. Because femininity is seen as the default
for a female-identified individual, the assumption upon first glance at a
femme is usually that they are a straight femalewhereas butch, or
masculine-presenting members of the lesbian community are read
immediately as such. This was distressing to many of the members, who
wished to avoid being hit on by straight men and also to display their pride in
who they are. They discussed various subtle ways they would alter their
appearance to indicate to in-group members that they were, in fact, queer
femmes. One such alteration was to keep the fingernails on one hand short
and the fingernails on one hand long. This also serves a practical purpose in
allowing them to safely perform certain sexual acts, so that is why only ingroup members would think to associate the nail length disparity with their
sexual orientation. Another alteration of sorts is flagging, which is the act
of wearing a certain color or style of handkerchief in a specific position on a
persons body to indicate the type of sexual acts the wearer is interested in,

Tasha Shermer
Cultural Anthropology
November 30, 2014
or the sexual identity of the wearer. There are specific flags for femme,
butch, Daddy/girl, etc. Only members of the in-group (or educated observers)
would be able to decipher what the flags actually mean.

This assignment was invaluable, in my opinion. Although I do not aspire to

become an anthropologist, I think everyone would benefit from doing some
form of participant observation in an unfamiliar group at some point in their
life. I am glad I was able to meet this group of femmes, and I thoroughly
enjoyed the experience.