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Hannah Rams
Yoon
Calculus
18 August 2014
The Story of Self
I grew up in Gardena, California in a household fused with CubanAmerican culture, loud music and countless crafts and things to do. We were
never bored as children, my older brother and I. There was always some fort
to build, picture to paint and ball to throw. In our old house, the backyard was
huge, perfect for two scrawny kids to take over and make their own. It was
not until we moved to Hawthorne, into my grandparents old house, that life
became different. The school systems around Hawthorne were supposed to
be better and so as a 1st grader I entered the Wiseburn School District. My
parents say I was always a diligent student, enjoyed going to school (70% for
the socializing aspect and other 30% to learn) and never caused too much
trouble. I think for the beginning chapters of my life I definitely found my
identity in the people around me. I was a social butterfly. I loved sharing fun
with people and was not afraid to hop around to different friend groups
during lunch break and recess. However, some friendships put me in rough
state. In these grade school, immature relationships I found myself and found
my value. So when someone would dismiss me or no longer desired my
friendship, a piece of my worth would walk off with them. Naturally, because
I was so young I healed up quickly. However I carried on that sense needing
to find my worth in others onto middle school. Now I am going to be upfront

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with you. I hated middle school, absolutely loathed 6th and 7th grade. I took
comfort in diving myself into my work and not having to socialize with others
during break time. Basically because of the struggle I had with self-worth and
relationships, I invested in friendships that brought these insecurities to a
new level. I had friends who called me out if my clothes didnt match, or
made fun of me when my acne would break out more than usual or how loud
my laugh was. Now grant it, I understand that half of that was my own fault. I
needed some more encouraging friends, but I couldnt seem to find my
confidence to be able to break away. Now, Im not telling you all of this stuff
for you to feel pity for me but rather set up how I have become who I am
now, and where my worth lies now.
The summer before 8th grade year I started to really paying attention in
the Sunday school my parents would stick me in. I learned about God and
this dude Jesus, about how much He loved and cared for me. Specifically I
learned about how much I was valued. That God looked at me as his
workmanship and something so much more than other peoples thoughts. So
then I said Eff the haters! (In the best Jesus-loving way possible (aka I
didnt say anything, I just stopped hanging out with those girls)). And yeah, I
started out 8th grade without having a set friend group, but I rocked it. I
walked into that dreadful middle school atmosphere, full of drama and harsh
glares, and met three wonderful, hysterical girls who were right there along
with me- not caring what anyone else thought. Despite all of the ridiculous
things that come with junior high, 8th grade was amazing. I developed my

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own self sense of style, laughed an unhealthy large amount and breezed
through the year academically. As I entered Da Vinci, I was actually dreading
this hippie, arts school. My friends from the previous year were not going to
Design and everyone kept going on and on about how they did not have the
real high school vibe (partly because there was no sports). Well yet again, I
met wonderful people who loved me for me and in that process I loved my
school.
In school, I refused to let myself be pushed around by egregious work,
but as this last junior year turned around and the work load doubled, I found
myself being always stressed. Writing did not come as easily to me, the AP
History reading sucked me dry, Art classes challenged my abilities (which
were few from the beginning). I would be so over anxious by Friday each
week, attempt to readjust, and then the cycle would begin again. I hated
school. It was a phase of my life I had never been in and I had no control.
After numerous pity parties and long nights in front of the keyboard, I found
myself frustrated with this life style I had put myself in and with I quick
prayer I began the reconstruction of my work habits. I took refuge in my
community at youth group and friends at school, asked for advice from
teachers and ultimately started to tear away that ever-present stress. Even
now I still struggle with anxiety. I found myself just on Thursday stressing out
over the large amount of homework I received from some Calculus class
But I thought to myself, Hannah, you arent putting yourself though this
again. Snap out of it and get crackin! And all though I may have these

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unnatural problems with stress, (that I think come from a deeper insecurity
of disappointing people) refusing to let myself turn in unsatisfactory work or
receive Bs; despite the struggles it all, I am happy to be who I am and
identify myself in so much more than people. I think because so much of my
worth is now determined in God and my relationship with him, I can enjoy life
so much more and let the love and happiness I feel overflow and hopefully
bright up others. You will find, Mr. Yoon that I ask a lot of questions; I will not
tolerate not understanding a concept. I like to laugh, a lot. I doodle when I
listen and sometimes sing to myself. Im addicted to Pinterest, and cheese
tortellini, and hummus. I love to bake, so if there are days that the homework
load is light expect some goodies (I hope you like biscotti, its my specialty). I
am unsure of the future and what college looks like, but have a complete
open mind about what will come. The story of myself is full of embarrassing
stories and corny jokes, so feel free to ask when you need any; its full of
sassy facial expression and snorting laughter, cat obsessions and beard
infatuations; and the story of me has still yet to be finished.