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February 2014

A Vol. 17, No. 6

Middle School

Show your child

how to take an
u s d a s s H-otes-

Four steps to reducing your

middle schooler's test anxiety
oes your middle schooler's
stomach do flip-flops the night
before a huge test? Does yours?
Relax! Although you can't take the

3. Create a comfy study spot. Carve

out a quiet, well-lit place at home

where your middle schooler can
study. Make sure he has all the

nf

ways you can help him get ready for

the big exam.
To help your child prepare:
1. Chat with him. Ask your middle
schooler why he's so nervous
about the test. Is the material
too hard? Does he not understand
it? Sometimes just getting his
concerns off his chest can make
the test less scary.
2. Help him make a study schedule.
If the test is next week, encourage
him to set aside study time on each
of the days leading up to it. This
may keep him from cramming the
night before.

Taking notes is an
important skill for
middle schoolers.
[t is a skill your child
will use even more
once she reaches high school.
Share these note-taking tips
with your child:
Don't write down every word.
Encourage your child to come
up with her own method
of shortening words, using
symbols for key words and
highlighting words the teachei
seems to emphasize. For
example, she could use the
dollar sign instead of the word

healthy snack-when he sits down

to hit the books.
4. Remind him of his strengths.
"I know you're worried about the
big history exam, but remember
how well you did on the last one?"
Focus on the positives.
Later, when your child receives his
test grade, talk about it, If he did
well, celebrate his success. If he
didn't, calmly go over what went
wrong and talk about how he can
improve next time.

.,in your child's mind, she

should read over her notes
and expand on them where
necessary. If she is unsure of
something she wrote down,
encourage her to ask the
teacher for more clarification
Study notes. Studying her notes
will help your child gain a true
understanding of the material
so she is prepared for the next
class or test.

Source: "Helping Your Child with Test-Taking: Helping Your

Source: J. Ban, ParentsAssuring StudentSucress,

Child Succeed in School," U.S. Department of Education,

www2.ed.govlparents/academidhelp/succeedlpa~9.html.

National EducationalService.

.. .
4
Practical ideasfor parents to help their children
$ 1

1 .

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pyright 02014, The Parent Instituteg

www.parent-institute.com

Middle school classes can help

your child prepare for college
College may seem a
long way off, but middle
school is the time to
start thinking about it.
w
Taking the right classes in
middle school will allow your child
to take more advanced classes in
high school-classes that help with
college admission.
The U.S. Department of Education
says middle school students should
take these courses when possible:
Algebra I in eighth grade ann<
geometry in ninth grade.
English and science. These
should be taken every year in
middle school.
History or geography. Middle
schoolers should study at least
one of these subjects each year.

Foreign language. Most colleges

require students to have taken
two or more years of a foreign
language. Beginning these classes
in middle school can give your
child a head start.
Arts and music. These classes
help with intellectual growth.

a--

"Weworry about what

a child will become
tomorrow, yet we forget
that he is someone today."

Middle School

Ii

-Stacia Tauscher

As your child progresses

through school, her
teachers will expect
higher-level thinking.
Instead of just giving
an answer,
she
will need to give
-examples to support it.
You can help your child practice
this type of critical thinking if you:
Slow down. Don't rush through
every conversation with your child.
Instead, take time to really discuss
various topics, from the upcoming
science fair to the weather. The
more you explore things in depth,
the more opportunities you'll be
giving her to think.
Don't swoop in. When your
middle schooler is struggling
with a question, don't be quick
to answer it for her. Instead, give
her a chance to mull it over on
-

There are plenty of

opportunities for middle
schoolers to get into
trouble after schoolespecially if their parents
aren't home. Answer yes or no to the
questions below to find out how
well you are monitoring your child's
after-school time:
-1.
Do you make sure your child
contacts an adult after school, such
- as a parent, neighbor or sitter?
-2.
Do you keep in touch by phone
when your child is out of school and
you are not there?
-3. Do you encourage your child
to be involved in supervised extracurricular activities after school?
-4. Do you have rules about who
may be in the house when you are
not there?
5. Have you and your child
discussedthedangersthatkidscan
get into after school (such as alcohol,
illegal drugs) and how to avoid them?
How well are you doing?
Mostly yes answers mean you are
working hard to keep your child safe
and productive after school. For no
answers, try those suggestions.

Source: ''Getting Ready for College Early," U.S. Department

of Education, www2.ed.gov/pubs/GettingReadyCollegeEarly/
index.htrnl.

Giveyourmiddleschooler's
critical thinking skills a boost
'i

Do you know
what your child
does after school?

her own. If she asks, "Which sport

should I try out for?" get her to
think it over carefully. "Which one
do you most enjoy? Is one more
challenging than another?"
Ask her to explain herself. When
your middle schooler reaches a
decision about something, have
her put her thought process into
words. "I'm excited that you
picked basketball. Tell me why
you chose that one." By explaining
how she made the decision she
did, she'll be clarifying it in her
own head.
Withhold judgment. You may not
agree with your middle schooler's
way of thinking on every topic, but
you should still respect it.

Source: A. LeSorti, "Developing Thinking in the Gifted,"

The PennsylvaniaAssociation for Gifted Education, http:fl

Parents stillmake the differencel

February 2014

Practical Ideas for Parents to Help

Their Children. ISSN: 1523-1283
For subscription information call or write:
The Parent Institute, 1-800-756-5525,
P.O.Box 7474, Fairfax Station,VA 220397474. F a 1-8W-216-3667.
Or visit: wwwparent-institute.com.
Published monthly September through May
by The Parent Instituteo,a division of NIS,
Inc., an independent, private agencyEqual opportunityemployer.
Copyright 8 2014 NIS, Inc.
Publisher: John H. Wherry, Ed.D.
Editor: Rebecca Miyares.
Illustratoc Joe Mignella.

Increase academic S U C C ~ S Sby

reducing your family stress
"our middle schooler
, a s academic and social
pressures, and you and
other family members
also have responsibilities
that can create stress. Unfortunately,
all of this stress can have a negative
impact on your child's grades.
It's nearly impossible to lead a
stress-free life these days, but you
can work to "make home a haven"
away from the daily grind. To help
your entire famiiy feel meiGlly and
emotionally well:
Share good things. Have each
family member report at least one
good thing (no matter how small)
that happened every day. It's best
if you can do this over a family
meal.
Never neglect the big three:
good nutrition, adequate sleep
and exercise. These are the keys
to wellness.

Q: Icaught my daughter copying

all the answers from her friend's
homework. What should I do?

Remember to keep it light.

Laughter should be a part of each
day. Share your favorite funny
shows, movies, jokes and stories. This should be right up your
child's alley-middle schoolers
can be both witty and silly.
Cope with tension. Laughter is a
great way to diffuse tension, but
try some others. Teach your child
to take deep breaths, go for a walk
or turn on favorite music when he
feels stressed.
Pitch in. Chores go so much
more quickly when everyone
works together. Have a family
chore time and then reward
yourselves by doing something
fun as a family. Resist paying
your child for chores-helping
the family is simply part of being
in the family.

A: Unfortunately, middle school

is a time when many students turn
to cheating. Children this age are
highly aware of how they compare
to their peers and they may view
cheating as a way to keep up.
In one study, conducted by the
Josephson Institute of Ethics, 90%
of middle schoolers admitted to
75% admitted to cheating on testt

Source:A. Marks, M.D. and 6. Rothbart, M.S.W., Healthy

Teens, Body andSou1: A Parent's Complete Guide, Fireside.

cheating is wrong. It's dishanest

and unfair to those who don't
cheat. Plus it robs her of learning
the skills and information she'li
need for success in life.

Remind your child that there is

no such thing as online privacy
Use of social media sites
such as Facebook and
Instagram is on the rise.
Middle and high school
students have signed up
in droves to share their thoughts,
messages, photos and even videos
on such sites.
To help your middle schooler
make the best choices while on social
networking sites, it's important to
monitor what he posts. In addition:
Remind your child that nothing
can ever be completely removed
from the Internet. He should think
carefully before posting anything
that would damage his reputation
or someone else's friendships.

Talk to your child about his

online "friends." The accounts
your child creates can only be
viewed or followed by people
he allows. One rule to set for
your child: Only allow people
you actually know to view your
posts.
Talk about values. Remind
your child that if he wouldn't
do something in real life, he
should avoid doing it online.
Stress safety. Your child should
never post information that
would allow someone to locate
him in real life. He should also
never arrange to meet anyone
he has only met online.

February 2014

Middle School

::

matter what grades she earns.

Help your daughterdevelop her
study habits-so she can make

know a student who would be

willing to help your child a few
'

hours a week.

.. . +:continues.

Parentsstill make the difference!

It Matters: Discipline
Avoid emotion
to eliminate
rude back talk

Three discipline strategies to

use with your middle schooler

As the parent of a
middle school child,
you may have days
where it seems as if
everything you say is
the wrong thing. Even an innocent
comment may be met with a rude,
arrogant or scornful reply from
your child.
You may be angry and frustrated.
But the best thing is to avoid a big
show of emotion. Instead:
Use "I-messages."Anything
that begins "you always" or "you
never" or even just "you" may
sound like an accusation to your
child. And nothing will gear him
up for a fight faster than that.
Instead, put the emphasis on
your feelings. Say, "I get frustrated
when the trash piles up," instead
of, "You never take out the trash!"
Become a broken record. Don't
get into a debate about why he
can't go to a concert without
you. Instead, repeat yourself.
"The rule in our house is no
unchaperoned concerts." When.
he complains, respond again,
"The rule in our house is no
unchaperoned concerts."
Say something nice, then walk
away. There are times when you
just won't be able to get any
further with your child until he
calms down. Try, "I know you're
upset, and that makes me sad for
you. But you're being so rude to
me that I can't talk to you right
now. I'll be happy to discuss
things more in a little while."
::
,

Source: A. Svensen, "Did That Come Out of M~child's."

Mouth!" Pearson Education, Inc.

'

.. .

Middle School

hen children are expected

to behave at home, they are
more likely to behave in school and
focus on learning. But what types
of discipline work best with middle
schoolers?
Here are three proven discipline
strategies to try:
1. Rules Strategy. Decide on the
rules your child must follow.
State the consequences for
breaking these rules. Always
apply consequences when rules
are broken.
2. Domino Strategy. Knock over
one domino and others will fall.
In the same way, your child's
actions (or lack of actions) will
make other things happen as
well. If she doesn't put her dirty
clothes in the laundry basket,
they won't be washed. (Don't use

this strategy if the consequences

could affect your child's safety.)
3. Caught You Being Good Strategy.
If you want to see a behavior
again, pay attention to it. Instead
of focusing on what your child
does wrong, notice what she
does right. She'll want to do it
again and again to earn your
praise and respect.
Source: T. McMahon, Teen Tips, Pocket Books.
. .. , ..

Are your discipline techniques

encouraging poor behavior?
--

Many common ways

of handling discipline
can actually encourage
poor behavior. Experts
say parents should
la rhese discipline mistakes:
Don't tempt your child. Saying
things like, "I'd like to see you try
it!" can sound like a dare.
Don't leave room for error.
Instead of saying, "Try to finish
your chores today," be clear and
say, "Finish your chores today."
Don't ask pointless questions.
Instead of asking your child,
"How many times have I told you

'

.
1 '

Parents stillmake the

not to yell?" focus on what you'd

like him to do. Say, "Stop yelling."
Don't use threats. Saying, "If
you don't finish your homework
before dinner, you can't have
dessert," gives your child a
choice. It's better to say, "You
need to finish your homework
before dinner."
Don't be vague. Kids don't learn
from phrases like, "Grow up!"
They need specifics. Say, "It is
your responsibility to remember
your chores."

Source: M. Martin and C. Waltman-Greenwood, Solve Your

Child'sSchool-RelotedProblems, Harper Collins Publishers.

February 2014