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Liliana Valerio
Professor Kaz
English 114B
19March 2015
The Parental Struggle with Bullying
Bullying is defined as unwanted, repetitive and aggressive behavior that is intended to
physically or emotionally hurt people through the use of physical, verbal, social or cyber abuse
(Sawyer 1795). Many parents have a basic understanding of this phenomena. Children all over
the world are affected by bullying and do not fully understand the concept either. It is a parents
responsibility to protect, nurture and educate their children in regards to issues such as bullying.
The subject of bullying is constantly being researched, however one aspect that is often
overlooked is that of the parents role and contribution to the issue. Most parents struggle to
teach their children about bullying because of their lack of understanding and ineffective
parenting styles, all of which contribute to the concept of bullying.
Most parents have a broad idea of what bullying consists of, the majority are aware that
the effects of bullying can be detrimental for both the bully and the victim. As a solution, many
parents attempt to teach their children how to handle a situation of bullying when in the position
of the bully, victim or bystander. The problem with these attempts is that the effort only goes so
far. After creating and conducting surveys directed towards teachers and parents understanding
of bullying, results showed that many parents give their children basic guidance while teachers
have a more thorough approach. For example, when asked to describe the strategies used to
educate children on the issue of bullying, the common response among parents was that of I tell

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him/her to tell an adult, ignore the bully, and walk away (Valerio). Meanwhile, when teachers
were asked the same question, most provided similar answers to those of the parents, however,
educators were found to provide children with an explanation as to why and how telling an adult
would help solve the case of bullying, rather than simply telling the children what to do in
regards to the bullying. These results revealed the existence of a significant gap in the
understanding of bullying between parents and educators. The gap demonstrates that instructors
possess more knowledge on how to handle and communicate the issue of bullying with children
than parents do. The questionnaires filled out by parents and teachers also looked into the cause
for this gap by asking them if they had ever attended a training session or workshop that
provided bullying education. Most teachers were found to have attended workshops, whereas
parents did not. This result shows that the gap in understanding of bullying is correlated with
bullying workshop attendance. In order to bridge the gap and solve the problem of lacked
comprehension, parents need and should make the effort to research the topic of bullying as well
as attend workshops/training sessions or speak with professionals to further educate themselves
on how to approach their children in regards to the issue at stake.
Another contributing factor that is often bypassed when researching bullying is the role
of parenting style. Many struggle to find the right style of parenting that is most beneficial for the
proper development of a child. Most parents utilize parenting styles according to what they
believe to be best for their children. However what many do not consider when applying certain
parenting styles are the behavior influences that could result in regards to bullying. Some parents
believe that the use of aggressive parenting will toughen kids up and help them to be accustomed
to bullying incidents. However, aggressive parenting does the exact opposite and is the reason
behind the behavior of bullies. Aggressive Parenting is often referred to as the authoritarian

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parenting style in which parents use brutality and sham or strict rules to discipline their children.
In the article Parents Who Bully Their Children, the author explains that children who grow up
in a harsh environment such as aggressive parenting, are brought up to believe it is normal, it
allows them to believe that aggression and humiliation are common and acceptable behaviors in
society. Damon Verial of Global Post further supports this claim in his article Parental Styles
and Bullying where he explains that children who are raised with an authoritarian parenting
style feel no sense of control in the home setting which leads them to exploit their school
environment by bullying others which in turn gives the child their sense of power and control.
The solution to this problem is connected to the parents understanding of bullying. It is by
understanding bullying that parents will learn to give their children a sense of control while still
remaining in charge.
Contrary to the authoritarian parenting style is the rejecting/neglecting/under-demanding
parenting style. This type of parenting is characterized by parents providing little to no attention,
communication as well as no rules, structure or guidance as stated in the article The
Connection Between Parenting Styles and Bullying Behaviors. This parenting style could go in
two different directions, leading to the development of either a bully or a bully victim. In his
article, Damon Verial explains how providing little constraint on a child deprives him/her from
knowing what social limits are, resulting in bullying behaviors. On the other hand, the Oregon
City Schools Anti-Bullying Sites article gives insight as to how a neglectful parenting style could
lead to a child falling victim to bullying when it states children raised in this type of
environment do not receive praise or attention and, consequently, do not develop high levels of
self-worth. They become "easy targets" by classmates. As the article explains, a rejecting
parenting style causes children to have low levels of self-esteem. As a result of their low sel-

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esteem, the children tend to be insecure about themselves which is also due to the lack of respect
they are given at home. That lack of security then follows them into the school setting, which
then makes the children easy targets of bullying for the children who are raised in the
authoritarian style and seek a sense of power. Similar to the aggressive parenting approach,
parents practicing the neglectful style can solve the problem of their children falling victim to
bullying by further educating themselves on the subject through workshops, training sessions or
simple research.
It is evident that the aggressive and neglectful parenting styles have their negative
consequences, which is why it is important for parents to find the middle of the scale to be
beneficial for their children. Parents need to learn about the consequences for the many different
styles of parenting and shy away from their beliefs which will allow them to be open minded
towards other parenting styles. By doing so parents will be able to find the right parenting style
to help their children overcome bullying as well as help themselves to teach their children about
bullying. Through research of affective parenting styles, parents will be able to find the median
of aggressive and neglectful parenting which is not associated with bullying and is seen as the
ideal parenting form, authoritative parenting. According to the article titled The Connection
Between Parenting Styles and Bulling Behaviors, when we raise children in a democratic
fashion, and accept and respect them, they will carry it forward and respect other. Through this
style, children would receive power and control while still being constrained which would in turn
discipline the child to respect others in both the home and school environments. In order to
achieve this form of parenting, it is up to the parents to educate themselves on how to best
educate their children through research and attending workshops like those provided to
educators.

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Another way in which parents can better educate their children about the concept
of bullying is by becoming anti-bullying activists for their children. In the book Rhetoric for
Radicals, Jason Del Gandio explains what he calls words of change as being words that
shape our understanding of social, cultural, political, historical, and economic operations.
(135) By becoming activists for children and using this tactic, parents can learn to use language
and the right words to make sure their children understand bullying and how to behave in mature
manners that will help them rise above the situations they find themselves in. Del Gandio also
emphasizes that through the smart use of words, one can effectively instill change among society
and the understanding of bullying among their children. Parents need to realize the power they
hold to change the world perspective that their children have and that through research, they too
will understand the concept of bullying.
The effects of bullying can be extremely detrimental for both the bully and the victim.
Children who are bullied grow to have insecurities about themselves and their personalities
which could lead them to develop depression and have thoughts of suicide. In regards to the
bully, s/he would grow to use their power and high self-esteem levels to exploit others. In the
article The Missing Voice: Parents Perspectives on Bullying, Sawyer and his colleagues
provide numerous cases of the effects that bullying has on victims. For example, they quote
many parents experiences with their children, such as children being depressed and avoiding
certain situations where they would be exposed to being bullied (Sawyer1798). People
understand that bullying is bad as it could affect the physical and psychological development of
their child, but many do not know exactly how to prevent this from happening. Most parents
have a basic understanding of what bullying is and how to communicate the concept with their
children. However, the efforts to properly explain this delicate topic only go so far. For this

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reason, parents need to take action and realize that they are the key that opens the door to a
childs thorough understanding of bullying. Through workshops and research parents can learn
the effective ways in which they can instill change in their childs views of bullying. Without
self-education and research, parents will also be considered as bystanders in bullying incidents
causing the social stance of bullying to continue as a problem in society. It is through education
that parents will open their eyes to the negative consequences of bullying that effect children in
many ways. By doing research and educating themselves, parents will also learn about how to be
better parents who are able to communicate such delicate issues with their children. If parents do
not take action to extensively educate themselves and their children to avoid a future in which
their child could be at risk of suicide and many other life threats associated with bullying. The
overall key is education of bullying and parental influence which can be the start of a change that
will make society a better place for those affected by bullying.

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Works Cited
Del Gandio, Jason. Rhetoric for Radicals Gabriola Island, Canada: New Society Publishers,
2008. Print.
Parents Who Bully Their Children. No Bullying. No Bullying, 14 Dec. 2014. Web. 6 March.
2015.
Sawyer, Jami-Leigh, Faye Mishna, Debra Pepler, and Judith Wiener. "The Missing Voice:
Parents' Perspectives of Bullying." Children and Youth Services Review, 33.10 (2011):
1795-1803. Web. 23 Feb. 2015.
The Connection Between Parenting Styles and Bullying Behaviors. Oregon City Schools AntiBullying Site. Google Sites, n.d. Web. 6 March. 2015.
Valerio, Liliana. Parent and Teacher Perspectives on Bullying Surveys. 5 March 2015. Print.
Verial, Damon. Parental Styles and Bullying. GlobalPost.com. Global Post-International
News, n.d. Web. 6 March. 2015.

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Annotated Bibliography
Del Gandio, Jason. Rhetoric for Radicals Gabriola Island, Canada: New Society Publishers,
2008. Print.
In the book Rhetoric for Radicals, Jason Del Gandio communicates The Power of
Language and the many ways to utilize language and words in a way that is most
effective for activists to make an everlasting impact in the world and social issue. In the
section titled Words or Change, Del Gandio writes that the use of words is one of the
many ways in which we understand and learn about different issues in society. With this
section of the book, my research will be supported as it provides a solution to the way in
which parents should effectively teach their children about the concept of bullying.
Parents Who Bully Their Children. No Bullying. No Bullying, 14 Dec. 2014. Web. 6 March.
2015.
The article, Parents Who Bully Their Children, describes the ways in which parents are
the ones bullying their children instead of other children through the use of aggressive
parenting. The article also describes the similarity between forms of discipline used by
parents and bullying. It also identifies the aggressive parenting as the reason behind the
existence of bullying in schools between peers. I plan to use this article as it exposes the
realities of a certain parenting style and its correlation with bullying.
Sawyer, Jami-Leigh, Faye Mishna, Debra Pepler, and Judith Wiener. "The Missing Voice:
Parents' Perspectives of Bullying." Children and Youth Services Review, 33.10 (2011):
1795-1803. Web. 23 Feb. 2015.

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In the article, The Missing Voice: Parents Perspectives of Bullying, Sawyer and
colleagues provide research results from a questionnaire given to parents aimed at
studying perspectives that parents have on the concept of bullying and its many issues.
Sawyer includes quotes from parents whose children suffer being victims of bullying.
These personal experiences with bullying supports my research as the article provides a
definition of bullying and knowledge of the effects of bullying.
The Connection Between Parenting Styles and Bullying Behaviors. Oregon City Schools AntiBullying Site. Google Sites, n.d. Web. 6 March. 2015.
The article titled The Connection Between Parenting Styles and Bullying Behaviors,
provides brief descriptions of the four basic parenting styles according to developmental
psychologist Diana Baumrind. The article also puts each style in context which situates
and helps readers understand what each parental style is about. I plan to use the article as
it makes it easy to understand how each style works as well as the effects of each.
Valerio, Liliana. Parent and Teacher Perspectives on Bullying Surveys. 5 March 2015. Print.
The Parent and Teacher Perspectives on Bulling Surveys examine the knowledge and
perceptions of bullying among parents in relationship with that of teachers knowledge.
The results of the questionnaires reveal a gap in knowledge of how to handle bullying
incidents between parents and educators which will aid my essay as it supports my claim
that parents do not have sufficient knowledge of bullying to effectively help children
overcome such an obstacle. The surveys also reveal the cause for this gap which sheds
light on what could be a solution to bridge the knowledge gap which will also aid my
essay.

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Verial, Damon. Parental Styles and Bullying. GlobalPost.com. Global Post-International
News, n.d. Web. 6 March. 2015.
In the article Parental Styles and Bullying, Damon Verial provides readers with
explanations on what bullies are as well as why they bully. Verial also describes two
styles of parenting that effect children involved in bullying known as the over-demanding
and under-demanding parenting styles. I plan to use the descriptions of the parenting
styles as they shed light on one of the many causes of bullying which could be the change
that is needed to end bullying all ion all.