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Process Recording 1
Giselle Riker
SW 3020
Professor Jun Hong
Introduction
Gemma Margheriti (pseudonym), age 20, is an unmarried, part-time student living with
her mother in Livonia, MI. Prior to this recorded interview, I had contacted her once to conduct a
bio-psycho-social assessment. Initially, she disclosed that the main issue that she wanted to focus
on in our discussion this time around was her struggle with money and saving to move out. But
we soon found there was not much to discuss about this problem, and it was not troubling her
very much as she is not in a huge rush to move out. We then decided to shift the focus to her poor
body image and desire to lose weight, another problem she addressed during the bio-psychosocial assessment. However, again we once again found ourselves getting off topic from this
issue because she feels that it is something that has not been particularly stressful for her. But
soon after that, our interview took a significant turn when Gemma opened up about a completely
different issue entirely: the fact that ever since she officially began dating her boyfriend Theo,
she has largely lost touch with the majority of her old friends, and therefore she feels like she no
longer has any meaningful friendships.
Dialogue
GEMMA: I feel bad that I choose my boyfriend over all my friends, but I cant help it that Id
just rather be with Theo a lot of the time.
GISELLE: Do you feel like youre still in a honeymoon phase with Theo? Or you dont want to
make him mad? Or you dont feel like seeing your friends?
GEMMA: I dont know, I would say were not in the honeymoon phase anymore, but I feel like
at the beginning of the relationship I sort of pushed everyone away, to the point that now its just
like I feel like Im out of the loop with everyone. I dont feel comfortable being with a lot of
people. I feel like they all keep up with each other and talk about things and I just dont. So Im
just awkwardly there.
GISELLE: What do you mean?
GEMMA: I dont know I just feel like I dont have anyone Like a best friend or people that
I hang out with anymore. At all.

GEMMA: Its just like, ever since I started dating Theo, if I were to choose a night out with my
friends or a night with Theo, Id pick Theo and I cant help it. Thats just what I want to do.
GISELLE: Do you think that decision comes more from feeling isolated from your friends or
simply always wanting to be with Theo? I know you said you just want to be with him but do
you ever feel like you just want to see your friends instead?

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GEMMA: Yeah, it happens. Sometimes its like, I dont know, I do want to be out with my
friends. I dont know how to explain it Maybe a little bit of it is that I do feel obligated to be
with Theo because I am with him every single night, and its kind of weird when Im not with
him.
GISELLE: Its just what youre used to.
GEMMA: Yeah, its just known when he gets home from work, usually hell text me and then Ill
go over there. And thats just how its been. So maybe I just feel like thats what Im supposed to
do? But he tells me You should spend more time with your friends.
GISELLE: He does?
GEMMA: Yeah, he knows how it is. Ive told him I feel like I dont have friends anymore. But
(extended silence) I just feel like every single one of my friends would rather be with someone
else.

GEMMA: I think Im bad at multitasking with people. Its how it is though, even when I had
friends I hung out with one friend a lot. Ive always done that.
GISELLE: Like Leina?
GEMMA: Exactly! It was with Leina, then Kathryn Its just how I am.
GISELLE: So youre saying its hard to balance relationships?
GEMMA: Yeah I think thats how it is for me. When I have one person that Im really close to I
just focus all my time on one person.
GISELLE: Now, do you think you would be happier if you could try to find a way to figure in
other people?
GEMMA: Yeah, I would love to spend more time with my friends. Plus I know Theo wants to
spend more time with his friends. I feel like I stop him from that sometimes. I mean, I tell him to
go ahead. As soon as summer comes hell be golfing everyday. Its like, as soon as its warm out
he has things to do. I mean, I dont really care
GISELLE: Are you worried about that? When hes going to be doing his own thing more, that is.
GEMMA: Yeah, and hes supposed to be getting a motorcycle so hes going to be doing that too.
And I know its going to suck and Im not going to see him as much, but maybe itll be good for
me? I think I do need more independence, because Im always with him.

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My Feeling
My general understanding of this problem is that Gemma does not know how to balance
her new boyfriend with her friends. I have known Gemma for many years, and I know that she
has had many problems and emotional issues over the years. Dating has been a source of stress in
Gemmas life for a long time, and she has always been very determined to find love and have a
stable relationship. In fact, she pursued her current boyfriend Theo for almost a year before they
finally became official, so her apparent attachment to him does not surprise me. However, I do
not think she should be condemned for choosing Theo over her friends because he is her first
boyfriend and their relationship is only within its first year- it is only natural to dwell on the
other person at that stage. I can definitely relate to the struggle of trying to balance ones time
between a relationship with a significant other and relationships with friends because I too feel
like my own friendships are not as strong as they used to be because so many of us are in serious
dating relationships. That being said, clearly Gemma has made mistakes in the way that she has
handled the situation thus far, but I think it is good that she is able to recognize these faults. I
also noticed the entire time we were talking, Gemma seemed to be really struggling to find the
right words to explain herself, making it clear that she has mixed feelings about her relationships.
In my opinion, a part of her is hurting and she truly does miss her friends, but another part of her
does not really care about them anymore, and she only wants to spend more time with them so
Theo can have more space and she can feel independent again.
Analysis
Overall, Gemma feels that she no longer has any close, meaningful friendships. She
believes this is because she has been investing almost all of her time into her relationship with
her boyfriend for the past several months and has not made a very strong effort to stay in touch
with her friends. Now that time has passed in their relationship, Gemma is starting to feel like
she needs to spend more time doing her own thing because she wants to feel more independent,
and she also wants Theo to have time to spend with his own friends. However, she finds it
difficult to spend time with her old friends because she has grown so distant from them, and she
has also found that she is not very motivated to reconnect with them because she would rather
spend time with Theo. As of this point, Gemma does not seem to be particularly stressed or
depressed because of this problem, so it is hard to determine what kind of social work
intervention, if any, would be necessary. I think if she really makes a conscious effort to set aside
time to spend with her old friends on a weekly basis, her situation would improve, especially
because she admitted that currently she almost never tries to make plans with friends.
However, if she were to find that strategy to be ineffective, or if she starts to feel deeply
distressed and hurt because of her lack of friendship, I would utilize cognitive behavioral therapy
(CBT). Throughout these CBT sessions, Gemma and I would focus on examining the way that
she perceives friendship and uncovering how these cognitions have influenced her tendency to
mainly dwell and depend on one main relationship in her life rather than several. We then would
work to fix or change any negative perceptions about herself or others than are inhibiting her
friendships. Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy (REBT), a subtype of CBT, may be
particularly helpful for Gemma as it focuses on four irrational beliefs: low frustration tolerance,
awfulizing, demandingness, and global evaluation of work. The following anecdote that Gemma
shared with me suggests that she has both a low frustration tolerance and a tendency to perceive
situations as worse than they really are: Gemma recently had plans with two old friends Kathryn

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and Ciara, but while the three were hanging out Gemma felt very isolated and left out of the loop
because she has not spent time with the girls in ages, so much so that she decided to go home
early. Looking back, she realizes she could have stayed but at the time she felt as if it was the
worst thing ever. Addressing these negative cognitions would be a very beneficial step in
facilitating and maintaining her friendships, and in the future working on Gemmas
communication skills would also be a valuable intervention.
Self Evaluation
Overall, I am happy with the interview and the information I gathered from Gemma, as
well as the fact that she was open to sharing her emotions with me. I did feel that overall my
attentive listening skills were satisfactory because I was genuinely interested in Gemmas
problem and her feelings about it. I tried to make a point to wait until Gemma was fully finished
with a thought before making a comment, and I also made sure to communicate the proper
empathetic facial expressions and body language. However, I realize that my interviewing skills
need improvement, especially the way that I form my questions. While listening to the recording,
I noticed that a few of my questions sounded like judgments about the situation, or suggestions
about the nature of Gemmas problems that she had not come up with herself. But sometimes I
felt that I had to do this or else the interview would have gone nowhere. I was trying very hard to
refrain from telling Gemma what to do, but whenever I asked her what she wanted to do, she
would more or less say I dont know. I tried to suggest different things she could do, such as
making a better effort to connect with her old friends one on one rather than in group settings. I
made sure to emphasize that she does not have to do that, and she should only do what she is
comfortable with and she can move at whatever pace she wants. Looking back, I wish I had
focused more on understanding the roots of Gemmas problem rather than trying to figure out a
solution right away. I also need to work on my biases and try not to form expectations about
what I think the client is going to say because both of these things limit my capacity for truly
understanding the client as a person.

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