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Jason Bradley
Professor Malek
Writing with Style 001
3/13/15
Commonplace Book
Cover Letter
My commonplace book contains passages from five different sources, each
followed by an analysis of some performative aspect which I specify in the
title. I used this class text, Stanley Fishs How to Write a Sentence and How
to Read One, for the first entry, mostly because it was very convenient. I
used a single excerpt, which proved to be rich with tropes, from an online
article on a satirical news website called Fair City News for entries three,
four, and five. A novel from another class, Ann Petrys The Street, yielded
excerpts for entries five, six, seven and eight. I also used a short story from
the same class, Dorothy Wests The Typewriter for the imitation exercise,
and finally Wallace Stevens (who is my favorite poet) The Plain Sense of
Things for the poetry to prose exercise. Once I began looking for them, I
found multiple performative aspects that would be interesting to analyze in
many of the passages, but I tried to limit myself to the aspect that was most
significant to creating meaning for the reader (with the exception of the Fair
City News article, where I couldnt help myself.) I also made an effort to
cover a wide range of performative and rhetorical areas, though the heaviest
emphasis turned out to be on tropes and schemes.
When beginning the commonplace book, I found it difficult to read for style
analysis and for content. I could easily read for the content as I normally
would, or I could read for style analysis, looking for tropes and schemes and
other performative aspects, but I found it difficult to do both. I think this
difficulty was because of how entwined in our language many of these
stylistic tools are; they exist in the structure of the sentence, informing the
meaning, but in such a way that its not consciously noticed. I was pleased
to find picking up on these performative aspects got a lot easier, and I
noticed them not only in written text, but in other sources also, like an NPR
news story (though that one didnt make it into the book.) I think there is a
lot of value in identifying these performative aspects, because understanding
how language performs not only allows me to extract more meaning from it,
but of course its also something I hope to, with practice, integrate into my
own writing.

1. Motives focused on Subject Matter: Iconicity

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But that experience of being free-floating, in flight, on the wing, not

tied down is precisely what the additive style is trying to achieve,
although achieve may not quite be the right word, because, in the art
practiced by Woolf, effects seem not to be achieved, produced after
arduous labor; they just or so is the desired impression emerge.
(Fish 83)
Source:
Fish, Stanley. How to Write a Sentence and How to Read One. New York:
Harper, 2011. Print.
In this passage from Fishs How to Write a Sentence, my motives are
focused on subject matter. Fish describes parataxis, which is the technical
term for the additive style, while simultaneously employing it. This style of
sentence, where the form of the sentence mirrors the subject matter, is
known as Iconicity. According to Fish, iconicity is common to analyses of
literary style, and creates a certain degree of artistic value. Using the very
style being described is not only any artistic way of communicating with
reader in an engaging way, but also a concise way of communicating with
the reader by embedding the example directly in the description.

Creating Satire with Rhetorical Tropes: Hyperbole, Periphrasis, & Irony

This passage from a satirical online news source called Fair City News uses
multiple rhetorical tropes and schemes to strike a satirical tone. I will use
this passage to analyze only the following three tropes: hyperbole,
periphrasis, and irony.
This week, winter weather both devastated and beautified Springfield
depending on the location. Light ice and snow turned Southern
Springfield into a Norman Rockwell type winter paradise with laughing
children creating snow forts, sledding, and enjoying playful snowball
fights. The northern part of town had heavier snowfall and ice
transforming it into a Dantes 8th level of hell with crying adults
creating ice shelters, battling starvation, and engaging in serious
snowball fight turf wars.
Source:
Southern Springfield Winter Wonderland-Northern Springfield Frozen
Hellscape. Fair City News. Feb 28, 2013. Web.
2. Hyperbole

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Hyperbole is used in both the exaggerated idyllic description of the Norman

Rockwell type winter paradise experienced in the south, and in the highly
overstated apocalypse of the Dantes 8th level of hell winter in the north.
This type of intentional exaggeration has a comic effect because it creates a
disconnect in the readers mind between the expected description of winter
weather, and the overblown description given. The humorous quality in turn
serves the satirical purpose of poking fun of the people or news sources
which overreact to winter weather.
3. Periphrasis
Periphrasis is another trope employed, such as when the winter weather is
described as being of the Norman Rockwell type, instead of idyllic, or the
town is described as being transformed into Dantes 8th level of hell, as
opposed to experiencing dangerous winter conditions. In this instance, the
use of periphrasis increases the passages formality, giving it the sound of
the high rhetorical style. This in turn amplifies the satirical effect by creating
a contrast between the cartoonish, hyperbolic descriptions of the weather
and the gravity and seriousness one would expect in the prose of the high
style, which further exposes the absurdity of those that overreact to winter
weather.
4. Irony
Finally Irony is used throughout the passage, as it becomes more and more
appearent to the reader that the author actually believes the opposite of
what is said. Initially there is no reason not to believe that winter weather
both devastated and beautified the town, as the author first claims. Even
the initial description of the mild winter weather, while mildly hyperbolic, is
not in itself enough to indicate irony to the reader. But in the second
description, by the time the reader reaches the concluding consequence of
the severe winter weather, that adults are engaging in serious snowball
fight turf wars, it becomes obvious that the writer does not believe that
Springfield was devastated by winter weather as it is first claimed, but
rather that the author is indicating the folly of those that blow winter
weather out of proportion.

5. Contrast with Parallelism

She was almost as tall as the Super, but where he was thin, gaunt,
she was all hard, firm flesh a mountain of a woman. (Petry 237)
Source:
Petry, Ann. The Street. New York: Mariner Books, 1974. Print.

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This excerpt from Ann Petrys The Street uses the rhetorical scheme of
parallelism to structure a contrast between the building superintendent
(Super) with Mrs. Hedges (one of the female residents). Petry emphasizes
the physical difference between the two characters by using the structural
similarity of he was (adjective, adjective), she was (adjective, adjective).
The parallel structure makes it easy for the reader to identify the contrasting
descriptive adjectives because they occur at the same place in the sentence.
The parallelism falls short of isocolon however, because the phrase
describing Mrs. Hedges is longer than the phrase describing the super. I
believe the decision to avoid isocolon and use two word descriptors for Mrs.
Hedges and only one word descriptors for the super emphasizes the mass
and presence of Mrs. Hedges, being all hard, firm flesh, whereas the super
is reduced and diminished, being thin [and] gaunt. Even setting aside the
meaning of the adjectives used, the very fact that the description of Mrs.
Hedges takes up more space on the page and has more syllables gives her a
presence which dominates the super.

6. Schemes of Repetition: Anaphora

There were so many people passing by, so many people with burdens
too heavy for them, young ones who were lost, old ones who had given
up all hope, middle-aged ones broken and lost like the young ones, and
she learned a lot just from looking at them. (Petry 251)
Source:
Petry, Ann. The Street. New York: Mariner Books, 1974. Print.
In this passage from The Street Ann Petry uses anaphora to describe the
unfortunate people that Mrs. Hedges observes walking past her window. The
first two phrases use a loose sort of anaphora by reiterating the so many
people, although strictly speaking the effect is compromised by beginning
the sentence with there were. I actually think that the sentence would be
very effective if ellipsis had been used and the there were had been left
out at the beginning. This would have emphasized the so many people,
and given the sentence the feeling of jumping into Mrs. Hedges stream of
conscience, however this would fundamentally alter the footing with the
reader. As the sentence stands, the speaker seems to be an omniscient
narrator with access to Mrs. Hedges thoughts, whereas omitting the there
were would place the reader directly in Mrs. Hedges thoughts as they occur.
Even as the sentence stands, the repetition of so many people emphasizes
the vast quantity of burdened individuals observed by Mrs. Hedges, and
almost calls to mind the lines of workers trudging toward drudgery in the
opening scenes of Metropolis.

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Anaphora is employed again, although with some deviation from the

conventional use of the scheme, in the repetition of the various aged ones,
young ones who were lost, old ones who had given up all hope, middle-aged
ones broken and lost like the young ones. Here not only the repetition, but
also the word choice of ones, as opposed say to people, is important to
creating a feeling of loneliness and isolation around the burdened individuals.
Had they been referred to a people, there would have been a more collective
feel that might suggest some companionship among them, however in the
sentence as it stands, the repetition of ones emphasizes that the
individuals are alone in carrying their burdens. There is a deviation from the
strict usage of anaphora by preceding the ones with an adjective which
describes their age. While this deviation is somewhat at odds with the
emphasis of the individuals solitary condition, there is a trade off as there is
also an emphasis on the isolation encompassing an entire population.
Because Petry specifies that there are burdened ones who are young, old,
and middle-aged, the reader understands that there is no segment of the
population along the age spectrum that is not isolated and burdened.

7. Synecdoche
She started up the stairs. They went up and up ahead of her. They
were steeper than she remembered them. And she thought vaguely of
all the feet that had passed over them in order to wear the treads
down like this young feet and old feet; feet tired from work; feet that
skipped up them because some dream made them less than nothing to
climb; feet that moved reluctantly because some tragedy slowed them
up. (Petry 312)
Source:
Petry, Ann. The Street. New York: Mariner Books, 1974. Print.
In this passage Petry uses Synecdoche by referring to only a specific part,
that is the feet, of the subject of the sentence, which is all of the
downtrodden black tenants in the apartment building. Reducing the tenants
of the building to feet connotatively suggests the idea of progress and
movement. Because the foot is essential to human locomotion, focusing
only on the tenants feet puts the reader in the mind of forward movement,
not just literally, but also in the sense of social progress. It seems to suggest
that no matter how steep the path ahead, and no matter whether the feet
are young or old, the feet will continue on up the stairs, same as they have
always done, as is evidenced by the worn out tread on the steps.

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8. Parenthesis
As it was and this time she acknowledged the thought, explored it
boldly as it was, she was going somewhere else to live. (Petry 354)
Source:
Petry, Ann. The Street. New York: Mariner Books, 1974. Print.
This excerpt from Petrys The Street uses parenthesis when it engages in a
sort of meta-discourse which is set aside by hyphens. At this point in the
story, a character named Min has just come to the sudden realization that
she is going to leave the abusive relationship she is in with Jones, and
determinedly decides to move out of his apartment. The parenthetical aside
to the reader that Min has actually acknowledged the thought, explored it
boldly, is important commentary because it emphasizes how very out of
character this is for her. In the preceding chapters Min is depicted as very
submissive, withdrawn character, so her boldness and decisiveness comes as
such a sudden surprise that its as if the narrator needs to step out of the
story and directly address the reader to emphasize how unusual and
important her realization is.

9. Tricolon & Imitation

Tired, bent, little old man that he was, he smiled, straightened,
tapped impressively against his teeth with a soil-stained finger, and
became that enviable emblem of American life, a business man.
(West 374)
Source:
West, Dorothy. The Typewriter. The Aunt Lute Anthology of U.S. Women
Writers. Vol. 2. Ed. Hogeland, Lisa Maria & Shay Brawn. San Francisco: Aunt
Lute Books, 2008. 374. Print.
This passage from Dorothy Wests short story The Typewriter uses tricolon
to describe how a beleaguered lower class father goes about imagining
himself to be a successful businessman. The first use of tricolon, tired,
bent, little old man, employs the ritual of three as a stylistic triangulation
(pp 152) to create a full description of the man. The completeness of the
description of his downtrodden state emphasizes how drastic his
transformation is.
Wests second use of tricolon, he smiled, straightened, tapped
impressively [], explains the mans process of transforming into his alterego as a three step process. The second use of tricolon creates a parallelism
that draws the readers attention to strong distinction between his two

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personalities. Admittedly this second example might not qualify as tricolon

in the strictest sense because there is a fourth step, that is, he smiled,
straightened, tapped, and became that enviable emblem, but I believe
that the close proximity of the first three verbs, smiled, straightened,
tapped still maintains the effect.
Imitation:
Cold, tired, hungry as he was, he sighed, stood, strode purposefully
down the trail in mud encrusted boots, and resumed the pursuit of his
dream: a through hike of the Appalachian Trail.
One thing I notice from imitation of Wests passage is that a little alliteration
goes a long way. I believe that alliteration could be a good tool to emphasize
tricolon, but in my imitation the repeated s of sighed, stood, strode
creates a sort of sibilance that sounds awkward. Also the phrasing of the
first tricolon, Tired, bent, little old man, reads very naturally in Wests
passage, but in my imitation it doesnt quite read right. I could have
improved it by deviating from Wests passage a bit further and written, As
cold, tired, and hungry as he was, but this seems to detract from the purity
of just having three adjectives listed, and makes the tricolon somewhat less
emphatic.
I also appreciate how the structure of the second tricolon actually
alters the readers perception of time. The first two steps, sighed and stood
in my example, contract time by listing rather than describing actions.
Simply listing all three actions would quickly move the plot along, but instead
of doing that, the third step dilates time by examining details of how he
strode down the trail. This makes me realize how tricolon can be a useful
tool for transitioning a reader from narration to description.

10. Poetry to Prose

Original:
Yet the absence of the imagination had
Itself to be imagined. The great pond,
The plain sense of it, without reflections, leaves,
Mud, water like dirty glass, expressing silence
Of a sort, silence of a rat come out to see,
The great pond and its waste of the lilies, all this
Had to be imagined as an inevitable knowledge,
Required, as a necessity requires.
Source:

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The Plain Sense of Things. Wallace Stevens. Poetry Foundation. Web.

Prose:
Yet the absence of the imagination had itself to be imagined. The
great pond, the plain sense of it, without reflections, leaves, mud,
water like dirty grass, expressing silence of a sort, silence of a rat come
out to see, the great pond and its waste of the lilies, all this had to be
imagined as an inevitable knowledge, required, as a necessity requires.
The first observation I would make about restructuring poetry into prose is
simply that the very process of doing so really shapes a different
interpretation and makes certain features stand out. I think this may be
because prose more closely mirrors the way we think than poetry does, and
consequently, when poetry is restructured into a more familiar form, the
brain is free to shift processing power away from the form and focus more
the content.
In rewriting this as prose, I also more consciously realized how line
breaks serve as their own type of punctuation. In the poem, each line break
seems to invite the reader to take a pause and meditate on the meaning of
the line before moving on. When written out in prose without the line
breaks, much of the thoughtful, meditative, quality that I associate with lots
of Stevens work is lost.
I was surprised to find that overall, this poem actually seems quite
syntactically sound, and translates into prose rather easily. I believe this is
largely because Stevens makes pretty conventional use of punctuation. I
think that the poems readability as prose could only be improved by the
addition of the occasional conjunction or article. For example, The great
pond, the plain sense of it, without reflections, leaves, mud, or water like
dirty grass, expressing silence of a sort, the silence of a rat come out to see.