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Leandra LaRonde
Professor Olivia Rines
UWRT 1100

Commented [O1]: 1101

22 March 2015
D.I.V.A.S: An Ethnographical Analysis
John Swales defines a discourse community as "groups that have goals or purposes, and

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use communication to achieve these goals." The organization D.I.V.A.S. On October 31, 2013,

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President Chanelle Clayton and Vice-President Talmeisha Frontis founded the organization

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D.I.V.A.S, which stands for Driven Intelligent Virtuous Ambitious Sisters, on the University
of North Carolina at Charlotte. On their website they state that they are says that it is a
mentoring organization served to empower middle-school young ladies facing adversity by

Commented [TD2]: Got it! I strongly recommended you

move this to your introduction because Ive been wondering
the whole essay what D.I.V.A.S. stands for.

building relationships with and increasing their academic excellence, and knowledge with
different topics. Through Swales six characteristics, D.I.V.A.S can be defined as a discourse
community. Its characteristics involve the common goal of female empowerment, its ways of
communication to complete those goals, its mechanisms of participation, and its forms of
communication within and outside of the community. In all of these characteristics D.I.V.A.S
demonstrates its influence on the Charlotte community and more specifically on the young girls
of Ranson Middle School as well as the University of North Carolina at Charlotte..

Commented [O3]: Excellent thesis statement!

This group has many common goals such as empowering women of all ages, helping the
younger generation, community service, improving the resumes of its members, sisterhood,
meeting new people, and connecting with individuals of similar backgrounds. Member Akshita
Paruchuri said that initially I just joined it cause I needed an extra on-campus organization to

Commented [O4]: Where did you get this information?

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be honest but she was also attracted to the fact that it empowers girls at a younger age to
become better people. A founding member of D.I.V.A.S Chanelle Clayton spoke of how the
influence of having a mentor affected her sisters and how she wanted that for the generation of
girls today. A summation of these goals is stated in the groups page on a student organization
site called Orgsync. In my observation of D.I.V.A.S I recognized that within the community

Commented [O5]: What does the summation say?

there are sub-communitiescommittees with their own objectives that contribute to the main goal.
There are four committees in which an e-board member is in charge of such as publicity,
community service, fundraising, and internal affairs. The publicity committee is in charge of all

Commented [O6]: This is a confusing sentence.

of the D.I.V.A.S advertisement from the information tables in the student union to the social

Commented [O7]: Student Union. Also, dont forget that

your audience may or may not know what/where the
Student Union is.

media posts on sites such as Instagram and Facebook. The community service committee is in
charge of all volunteer opportunities obtained and created by the D.I.V.A.S such as the
International Fest hosted by the University of North Carolina at Charlotte and the MDA Muscle
Walk of Charlotte which is walkathon for charity going towards people with various muscle
disorders. The fundraising committee is in charge of creating ways for the organization to make
money and support itself as well as the mentees and community. The money from this groups
efforts goes toward events such as Speed-dating With the D.I.V.A.S and Building Your Own
Brand with guest speaker Professor Brenda Tindal. In my observation of the speed-dating event
I witnessed how all of the members came together with their respective jobs to create a fun and
interesting experience. At the event, members wore all-black business-casual attire to represent
unity and also clearly identify those who were a part of the organization. From my observation I
was able to see how the ladies utilized each committee in order to communicate with each other
as well as the attendees. The internal affairs committee is constructed to handle any business that
should be dealt with within the club whether that be carpooling issues with the middle school

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visits or the semiannual dues paid by all D.I.VA.S members. Each of these committees have their
own goals but come together collectively to achieve the discourse communitys main mission.
The D.I.V.A.S use various forms of communication to connect with other members. One

Commented [O8]: This is a very long paragraph. I would

consider dividing it up into multiple paragraphs.
Commented [O9]: Which is?

of their main forms of communication is through email. The secretary Tracey Simpson sends
various emails throughout the week to keep all members updated on any issues, events, and
opportunities that arise. She also sends lesson plans and monthly calendars. Another form of
communication used is through a phone application called Groupme. With this phone application
members contact each other through a group chat about anything from official D.I.V.A.S
business to social events, pressing questions, inspirational messages, and any other important
matters. Often times when there is a miscommunication between members like at the speed
dating event I observed, the women take to the group chat to clear things up so everyone has an
understanding about what is going on. At one point in the Speed-dating With the D.I.V.A.S
event there was a mix up about where the food would be dropped off so that other members
could set up before doors opened for admission. Some members thought it would it be dropped
off at the venue on campus and others had the understanding it would be dropped at UNC
Charlottes student union. To correct this mistake, the committee in charge of the food got on the
Groupme chat to find out exactly what was happening and in less than ten minutes the women
obtained the food and had it at the venue ready for consumption. Other ways the people of the
community contact each other are Orgsync, phone calls and text messages. Members who are
close personally tend to use phone calls and text messages more often than members who are
not,

Commented [O10]: How does the varying degrees of

closeness affect the community dynamic?

A discourse community uses its participatory mechanisms primarily to provide

information and feedback. (Swales, 221). In John Swales article about discourse communities

Commented [O11]: Swales

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he speaks of the way a discourse community uses mechanisms such as money semi-annual dues
to help and improve the organization. Every semester D.I.V.A.S takes up fifteen dollars in dues
which goes toward things such as group t-shirts and future events. The aforementioned
fundraising committee is the one in charge of handling these matters.

Commented [O12]: Are dues the only participatory

mechanism?

When asked about the purpose of D.I.V.A.S. President Chanelle Clayton said Our
mission is to just inspire and empower young girls facing adversity so I think were learning
different ways to do that. Its definitely like a teachingI guess a learning experience for me too
just founding the organization seeing it ([on) ] a day-to-day basis. More and more, the members
of D.I.V.A.S are finding ways to communicate their goals to the public. The publicity committee
uses publicity tables that are usually placed in the University of North Carolina at Charlottes
student union to advertise what the organization is about and the things it plans to do. The tables
are also adorned with flyers for members to give out so people can spread the word about
whatever is going on. The social media site Instagram is one of the greatest forms of
communication between this community and the public because it is a site people use very often
and many members use it to post about events and issues D.I.V.A.S wants to raise awareness
about. Most importantly, the organization uses the voices of its members to communicate with
the young women at Ranson Middle School. As mentors, members make personal relationships
with their mentees as well as many of the girls involved in the program so that they feel
comfortable in confiding in them. The mentors not only teach young women but they also learn a
lot about them and about what it is going on in the young minds of today.
Although there isnt a specific lexicon attributed to the discourse community, there are a
couple of is one terms and phrases that not all understand. D.I.V.A.S stands for Driven
Intelligent Virtuous Ambitious Sisters. The acronym can be used as a way to reference the

Commented [O13]: Is this paragraph talking about

Swales characteristic #4?
Commented [O14]: Introduce Swales characteristic here.
Commented [O15]: Who is all?

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group as a collective or members individually. I think that because of the relaxed environment
D.I.V.A.S has, it is not important to have a language or vocabulary that specifically pertains to
this group. Another term often used by D.I.V.A.S is e-board or e-board members. The e-

Commented [O16]: DIVAS cannot be a discourse

community if it does not have some specific lexis.

board is a coalition of members who each lead a committee or carry-out a specific duty for the
community. E-board member Tracey Simpson holds the position of secretary and sends out all emails and notifications about information pertinent to D.I.V.A.S. members. She also maintains
all records for the organization to make sure that the group is organized and runs smoothly.
There are various other e-board titles from president to treasurer and in each position that
member takes on various jobs to ensure that the community accomplishes its goal in the most
effective way possible.
In order for D.I.V.A.S to successfully achieve its goals there is a system or ranks to

Commented [O17]: Address Swales characteristic #6

here

separate the work and conquer it efficiently. In the group there are seven e-board members that
have job titles that range from head of publicity to treasurer. In each of these jobs the e-board
takes the responsibility of directing a portion of the 65 organization members to complete their
tasks. Because the group was only just founded the 31rst of October 2013 all of the e-board
members are still there minus except for two members who are no longer with the organization.
When members of the e-board can no longer complete their duties another e-board member is
chosen by way of democracy. Every semester a slew of new members join the group and the
scope of D.I.V.A.S widens more and more past the stereotypical thought that they only serve
members of the black community. People of all kinds are joining D.I.V.A.S because they too

Commented [O18]: This needs to be further explained.

want to empower women and influence other communities. Though D.I.V.A.S is an organization
that still has a long ways to go, there is no doubt that it is indeed a discourse community.

Commented [O19]: How so? Explain?

Commented [O20]: Is this supposed to be your
conclusion?

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Works Cited
Swales, John. The Concept of Discourse Community/ Genre Analysis: English in Academic
and Research Settings. Boston: Cambridge UP, 1990. 21-32. Print

I really enjoyed reading your draft and learning about your discourse community. In order to
improve, I have a number of suggestions. First, you have a lot of ideas in your paper, and you
share a lot of information with the reader. However, sometimes it gets a bit confusing to follow.
By this, I mean sometimes you get off track with examples that are interesting but do not always
pertain to the point that you are trying to make. I would consider either reorganizing your paper
into shorter paragraphs or streamlining your ideas. Second, you seem to get off track towards the
end of your paper, and you seem to be missing your conclusion entirely. Make sure that you
consistently discuss Swales if you are going to use him as the framework for your paper, and
dont forget your conclusion. Third, I would also like to see you incorporate your data more. You
frequently made claims but they werent always supported by information from your
interviewees or from your observations. Make sure the reader knows where you are getting your
information. Finally, your sentence structure could be stronger. Be deliberate in your word
choices and think about how you are phrasing your thoughts. If you have questions regarding this
aspect, either make an appointment with the Writing Resources Center or come talk to me.
The following is the rubric for the assignment, including what you would have received had this
draft been your final draft. This grade will not be recorded anywhere. It is simply a chance for
you to see where you stand.
Category

S coring Criteria

Content
(65 points)

Is focused, clear, purposeful, and meets the needs of the audience

Properly addresses the question, What are the most important things for
an outsider to know about this community?
Describes Swales characteristic #1 (common public goals)
Describes Swales characteristic #2 (mechanisms of intercommunication)
Describes Swales characteristic #3 (participatory mechanisms)
Describes Swales characteristic #4 (utilizes genres)
Describes Swales characteristic #5 (specific lexis)
Describes Swales characteristic #6 (threshold level of members)
All claims made are supported. Writer uses specific references to data
and/or sources to support claims.
Introduction establishes a framework for the rest of the paper and
includes a thesis statement
Conclusion summarizes the paper and pushes the reader to think about
specific issues/concerns outside of individual discourse community.

Total
Points
5

S core
5

10

5
5
5
5
5
5

4
5
2
3
2
3

10

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Organization
(10 points)
S tyle and
Conventions
(25 points)
S core

Utilizes a strong internal structure and purposefully moves the reader

through the text
Sentences are all well-crafted and consistently varied in structure, length,
and beginning. Vocabulary and word choice are precise and varied.
The writer demonstrates a firm grasp of the conventions of written
English (spelling, capitalization, punctuation etc.). There are no typos.
Is formatted according to the conventions of MLA
Is 1500 2500 words
Total Points

10

10
5
100

10
5
73