To: Ms.

Diaz
From: Lexi Conklin
Date: March 21st, 2015
Subject: The Faults of Common Core Curriculum: Position Paper: Cover Letter
Rhetorical Situation
Creating this position paper took a lot of preparation and research to develop my best argument
and my best counter argument against the opposing views. This document reflected the
supporting and opposing points in my low stakes assignment, which helped me outline my
argument so I would refrain from going off on a tangent. In the process of writing this position0
paper, I had to dig deep to find valid information from my resources to defend my argument
properly, which took time and patience. Utilizing other peoples ideas and thoughts and
incorporating all that information into your own writing style is more difficult than I thought it
would be. Its easy to pull material or facts from a source, but twisting and integrating it into a
valid argument takes a good amount of preparation and planning in order for ideas and subjects
to flow together. I used particular examples to back-up my argument such as the decline of
academic performance resulting from the Common Core Curriculum and the unfair
circumstances teachers have to endure from the excessive amount of standardized tests students
are given. These are all supporting points I introduced in my argument that qualified for the best
way to expand my ideas and viewpoints in the position paper. I chose the title The Faults of
Common Core Curriculum to represent my opposed opinion on the subject, which introduces
the idea that this reform has jeopardized the education system in the U.S. I hope my argument
holds a solid ground for the positon I took on the matter, and hopefully I understood the task I
was given to write this argument essay up to your standards.

Areas of Interest
Some areas of interest I had further questions on was the introduction to my position paper,
which you commented I should cut some information down to form a paragraph that pulls the
reader in more while introducing my thesis statement. I reworked my intro to your
recommendations, and I just wanted your feedback on my changes and if it really persuades the
audience to read more. The introduction is just as important as the rest of the argument because it

is the first piece of information anyone reads, so I want to make it as strong and as inviting as I
possibly can. Another area of interest I would like to improve on is how well I embed quotes and
information from my resources into my argument with proper citation references. I need to find a
balance of where I should put the material from my resources and where I should integrate my
own opinions and views into the argument. All the concerns I had for this position paper were
centered on how I could improve my skills as a writer within different genres. If you have any
more additional feedback for me on the strengths and weaknesses of my argument paper that
would be very helpful too.

SLO Progression
I believe I have made successful progress towards SLO D, SLO H, and SLO I through this
assignment and in the previous low stakes assignment. In SLO D, I structured my writing style to
flow from one idea to the next thought without creating awkward phrasing or tone. This specific
SLO takes time to achieve as fluency comes with levels of progress from one sentence that falls
into a paragraph and that eventually goes into an entire document. This student learning outcome
is about improving writing style and technique, which I have seen myself achieve on multiple
levels. SLO H states the importance of integrating another persons positions and opinion on a

Commented [SD1]: Specific examples?

topic in appropriate ethical terms so their credibility is being recognized. In the process of
writing this position paper, integrating information from a source happened very frequently. I
needed merit and information from other peoples perspectives to stimulate my argument more
effectively. At times it was difficult integrating a variety of sources in my argument, but it also
helped me to go more in depth with a particular subject that was connected to this argument.

Commented [SD2]:

SLO I corresponds slightly with SLO H as they both contain the tools I needed to find valid
research for the argument and how to properly credit another persons work. In SLO I, I did my
best identifying a resource that would be useful to my argument, while analyzing and evaluating
what information I needed to strengthen my position. This took time and patience as it is difficult

Commented [SD3]: Specific examples?

finding specific resources that match the aspects of my argument in perfectly. Most of the time I
had to dig deeper to find valid sources that would benefit my argument. As I use these student
learning outcomes to compose pieces of writing that Im asked to do, I believe my progress will
increase greatly.

Commented [SD4]: Your cover letter is informative, but

could have been more specific with the SLOs.

Lexi Conklin
Ms. Diaz
English 120
March 21st, 2015
The Faults of Common Core Curriculum: Position Paper
Common Core Curriculum has not benefited the educational success of students in grade

Commented [SD5]: Your intro still goes 90 MPH into the

subject.

school; in fact, it has limited the time they need to absorb crucial information. Since this
curriculum has been adopted, practitioners are struggling to maintain new policies, the reforms
effectiveness is lagging greatly in the decline of academic performance, and the majority of
instructional time is being devoted to obtaining the material only seen on standardized tests. As
you may wonder, is this what our education system has now come to?

Commented [SD6]: The rhetorical question works very

well.

The Common Core Curriculum reform is a rushed process with high standards which has
allowed little room for proper revisions and clarification. There are various faults in the system
that havent been revised or improved resulting in the slow crumbling of our nations education
system. Although the intended purpose for this education reform was to create an effective
curriculum that would boost the academic success of grade school students, it has unfortunately
fallen short of this ideal education system. Recognizing the importance of revising this
educational curriculum is critical for the future of this nation especially in terms of other high
academic achieving countries. This topic is widely debatable as practitioners and expert
educators argue to find some compromise for the education system.
The Common Core Curriculum is a specific education reform implemented nationwide in
45 states to improve the academic performance and success of grade school students. These

Commented [SD7]: This might have worked better as the

second paragraph with the paragraph before it coming
directly after it. This is CC, this is why its now working.

standards were created in collaboration with expert educators and school administrators to
develop an effective core curriculum that states have adopted since 2010. These standards are
aligned with high expectations of future success in college and eventually in a career. This new
revised curriculum contains rigorous content and knowledge that educators believe is beneficial

Commented [SD8]: This isnt commonly known info so

citation would be needed.

to students academic progress. When this reform was put into action, the creators intentions
were only to enhance the education quality that students in the country could receive with this
proposed curriculum. This did not become an arguable topic until there was recognizable faults
and patterns of unsuccessful results in the Common Core Curriculum.
Public education has always been one of this countrys poorest quality compared to other

Commented [SD9]: Qualities?

countries that take their academic success very seriously in terms of regulating a wellfunctioning government and economy within the world. Improvement and reforms in the

Commented [SD10]: Not sure how the end of this

sentence functions to the whole.

education system seem to be the only way to sufficiently raise the education rates in the country
and that is how the Common Core Curriculum came to be adopted in the academic world. A
scholarly article supports four Common Core justifications including, creating common
education standards, preparing students for college, stressing quality education for all students,
and increasing rigor in schools. (Wallender 7) Although all of these validations seem to be

Commented [SD11]: The framing isnt bad, but its a little

bland. Who is saying this/claiming this? We know its a
scholarly article via the works cited.
Commented [SD12]: Some of this info might be better
worked into the paragraph explaining what CC is.

supporting the education system through this new ideal curriculum, how do people know its
being met to its full potential? This reform wants to standardize all grade school education
throughout the country with a foundation of fundamental sameness. How can this standardized

Commented [SD13]: Thats what standardize means, so

this end is a little redundant.

curriculum be implicated all the same to almost every public school in the country if different

Commented [SD14]: You start off with question but then

drop it.

teachers stress more or less important subjects and if the magnitude and importance of education
is being emphasized enough to each individual student. We like to believe every aspect of this
reform will only benefit the education system, but in reality it has more of a negative effect as
students do not learn at the same pace, which limits their learning capacity. This is especially a
problem within the regulations for standardized testing. Shouldnt students be given a test that
frames their accurate knowledge they have attained from school, so teachers and the
administration know what subjects to go into more depth on? Educators do believe that students

Commented [SD15]: New paragraph would work well

here.

should be tested on what they have learned, but does this standardized testing have to be such an
excessive amount? In 2001, the No Child Left Behind Act was proposed requiring states to
create standardized assessments and proficiency levels for the academic success of students in
public education. (Wallender 9) As individual states created their own academic standards it
resulted in varying levels of proficiency [that] left wide gaps in expectations for rigor and
student achievement. (9) From this education gap came controversy in the Common Core

Commented [SD16]: What is this from? Either put the

author in the citation or frame it.

reform as the quality of the countrys education system was put at risk. On a global level,
students in America are losing an academic edge to other countries that could possibly jeopardize
future employment opportunities and the success of this countrys international impacts. With
these great faults in the Common Core Curriculum and the foundation of the education system
we are beginning to see a negative domino effect that can rapidly effect many important aspects
of the U.S. The efforts to retain as much quality education as possible is currently being
recognized through specific reforms that can only improve the Common Core Curriculum.

Commented [SD17]: This was a massive paragraph and

should definitely be broken up.

Standard curriculum reforms have suppressed educational performance as practitioners

struggle to maintain new curriculum policies. This has created unfair circumstances for educators
to teach effective useful material to students in grade school. If teachers are struggling to fully
grasp the concepts they are now being forced to teach, how well do you think learning tools and
information is being passed on to the students? All of these negative effects are impacting the
foundation of quality education as teachers are being put in a position of accountability for the
success of their students without being given proper instruction to go by every state standard.
This causes confusion and poor judgment on the behalf of the Common Core regulators and the
states proficiency standards. The curriculum has imp licated labor-intensive and academically
challenging for teachers (Murphy 19) and is consequently reducing familiarized assessments

Commented [SD18]: Word doesnt match the quote. Has

been?

and instruction teachers need to be equitable and effective. If teachers are lost trying to glue
broken pieces of the system back together, how are they expected to run a proficient classroom?

Commented [SD19]: Your rhetorical questions are

effective.

Educators are easily targeted for the underachievement of their students, but with this
imbalanced system is it fair to blame them or is it fair to blame the curriculum as a whole?
Teachers are constantly being held accountable for their students test results as the policies
have meaningful implications for high-stake decisions regarding job retention and tenure.
(Murphy 20) If the test scores dont reach a high enough percentage, it endangers the teachers
career as the new curriculum only bases educational progress among these timely standardized
tests. Teachers and administrators jobs are being put on the line if they dont have total
agreement as to what they must follow for these specific implications when teaching the
curriculum properly. With these regulations lingering among the classroom, teachers are
encouraged by many educators to devote a majority of their instructional time to teach concepts
and knowledge that will only be seen on the standardized tests. It raises the question of how
these new standards affect the evaluation of teachers as their job performance is constantly being
interfered with.
The Common Core Curriculum is not advancing the knowledge students around the
nation are attaining. It is suppressing the expression of ideas, individuality, and creative activity
as the reform is becoming completely standardized. The idea of creating a new demanding
curriculum applied in schools could mend the Common Core faults acting as a revised substitute
to improve the education system. (McPartland 72) With unacceptable rates of failure in the
downfall of students academic progress, does this idea qualify to redirect education in this
country? It seems like the only reasonable decision to clear up the various flaws and deficiencies
in the public school curriculum. The prospects that could positively implicate the Common Core

Commented [SD20]: This paragraph is massive and could

be more concise or organized into two paragraphs.

Curriculum or revise it into a new curriculum could include, enhanced resources, improving
criteria for academic success, and reconstructing roles and relationships for teachers with regards
to learning outcome. (McPartland 66) The Common Core Curriculum is lagging its potential to
give students full quality education. If multiple resources have proven to have a substantial
amount of faults in the current education system, then why continue with this collapsing
curriculum? This model of education reform is failing, revisions need to be put in place
immediately to secure the value of our education.
With every major decision the government makes regarding education reforms there is no
definite outcome that it will work without any conflicts. Usually revising any system takes
proper evaluation on what to improve and what to disregard which included a substantial amount
of time that might take years to alter. This is the current situation the Common Core Curriculum
is in. As the major faults and deficiencies have become increasingly worse through the years
since the curriculum has been adopted, more and more people are becoming unhappy and
frustrated with the current state of this countrys education system. Being such a recent
controversial topic there are many aspects to consider from both sides of the argument about
whether or not it is an effective program. Public school administrators are realizing that for every
positive impact the curriculum has on the education system it has an even greater negative effect.
Is holding on to Common Core Curriculum really worth risking students academic futures? The
curriculum reform has not shown any gains in advancing the educational level of students in the
U.S. and, ironically, in some cases has lowered the proficiency level. So you may ask yourself,
why is this education reform still being considered? Well some would say it would take an even
longer amount of time to revise the Common Core Curriculum that could add even more
problems and stress to the education system. Although this may be true, isnt improving

Commented [SD21]: Good framing.

academic progress essential to keep our country up and running? Quality education is the
foundation for a successful and sophisticated country, and it is extremely important we do
anything we can to improve this academic downfall.

Commented [SD22]: The conclusion is really unwieldy as

well.

Works Cited
McPartland, James M., and Barbara Schneider. "Opportunities To Learn And Student Diversity: Prospects
And Pitfalls Of A Common Core Curriculum." Sociology Of Education 69.2 (1996): 66-81.
Academic Search Complete. Web. 19 Feb. 2015.

Murphy, Audrey Figueroa, and Bruce A. Torff. "Standards And Accountability In Conflict." Delta Kappa
Gamma Bulletin 80.4 (2014): 19-22. Academic Search Complete. Web. 19 Feb. 2015.

Commented [SD23]: No space between citations and it

should all be in Times New Roman

Wallender, Jennifer. "The Common Core State Standards In American Public Education: Historical
Underpinnings And Justifications." Delta Kappa Gamma Bulletin 80.4 (2014): 7-11. Academic
Search Complete. Web. 19 Feb. 2015.

Content
Area

Description of An Exemplary Position Paper

Points

Argument

The introduction presents an overview of different stances on the

_30_/35
issue, demonstrating an understanding of these views and contains a
main claim statement. The writers main claim is clearly defined and
the writer refers back to this claim throughout the paper. The writer
presents an opposing viewpoint (acknowledges a counter argument)
and successfully argues against that view. The writer uses at least two
scholarly articles or book chapters with opposing viewpoints to situate
his or her own argument. The writer has a clear understanding of these
articles and uses the research to enhance the writers own argument.

Analysis

The writer uses secondary sources (articles or book chapters) in their

paper to create an effective dialogue with the opinions of other
writers. The writers critical thinking skills enhance their analysis
helping the writer to present his or her own stance on the issue as an

_23_/25

extension of another writers argument or as a synthesis of two

opposing arguments.
Organization

The paper is organized in a logical manner that enhances the flow of

the writers argument. The writer has included an introduction and
forward thinking conclusion. Body paragraphs have topic/point
sentences that show the reader the paragraphs relationship to the
argument and concluding sentences. The writer has used transitions
between ideas and paragraphs to add to his/her ideas clarity.

_12_/15

Presentation
& Format

The report is free of

_10_/10
distracting errors of grammar, punctuation, and spelling. The report
meets the page length requirement. The writer has used Times/Times
New Roman 12 point font; the document in double spaced, and uses 1
inch margins.

Style

The writer uses an economic style meaning that the language is

concise, not repetitive or overly wordy. Sentence structure and
meaning is clear.

_5_/5

Cover Letter

The writer has supplied a cover letter that discusses the rhetorical
situation for their document (3 points), overview of
strengths/weaknesses (2 points), a request for specific feedback (1
point), and a reflection on the required SLOs (4 points).

_8_/10

Total:88 /100
Lexi,
Overall, you have a lot of good stuff here. You clearly understand the stakes of CC and how this
is playing out, and its clear your passionate about the subject. Your rhetorical questions worked
really well to poke at the reader.
Your paper is very unwieldy on the paragraph level. Many of your paragraphs could easily be
broken up into two (or even three) paragraphs, which I think would help consolidate similar
arguments and information. Also, you didnt spend very much time with counterarguments. You
explained why CC was implemented, but you didnt include counterarguments from people who
still defend it and say we need it.
-SD