LaRonde 1

Leandra LaRonde
Professor Olivia Rines
UWRT 11011
22 M arch 2015
D.I.V.A.S: An Ethnographical Analysis
John Swales defines a discourse community as "groups that have goals or purposes, and

Formatted: Space After: 0 pt

use communication to achieve these goals." The organization D.I.V.A.S. On October 31, 2013,

Formatted: Not Highlight

President Chanelle Clayton and Vice-President Talmeisha Frontis founded the organization

Formatted: Font: (Default) Times New Roman, 12 pt

D.I.V.A.S, which stands for Driven Intelligent Virtuous Ambitious Sisters, on the University
of North Carolina at Charlotte. On their website they state that they are says that it is a
mentoring organization served to empower middle-school young ladies facing adversity by

Commented [TD1]: Got it! I strongly recommended you

move this to your introduction because Ive been wondering
the whole essay what D.I.V.A.S. stands for.

building relationships with and increasing their academic excellence, and knowledge with
different topics. Through Swales six characteristics, D.I.V.A.S can be defined as a discourse
community. Its characteristics involve the common goal of female empowerment, its ways of
communication to complete those goals, its mechanisms of participation, and its forms of
communication within and outside of the community. In all of these characteristics D.I.V.A.S
demonstrates its influence on the Charlotte community and more specifically on the young girls
of Ranson M iddle School as well as the University of North Carolina at Charlotte..

Commented [O2]: Excellent thesis statement!

This group has many common goals such asranging from empowering women of all ages,
helping the younger generation, community service, to improving the resumes of its members,
sisterhood, meeting new people, and connecting with individuals of similar backgrounds
according to the interviews I conducted with three different members.. M ember M ember

Commented [O3]: Where did you get this information?

LaRonde 2
Akshita Paruchuri said that initially I just joined it cause I needed an extra on-campus
organization to be honest but she was also attracted to the fact that it empowers girls at a
younger age to become better people. A founding member of D.I.V.A.S Chanelle Clayton spoke
of how the influence of having a mentor affected her sisters and how she wanted that for the
generation of girls today. A summation of these goals is stated in the groups page on a student
organization site called Orgsync. On the homepage it is stated that We're a mentoring

Commented [O4]: What does the summation say?

organization served to empower middle-school young ladies facing adversity by building

relationships with and increasing their academic excellence, and knowledge with different
topics.
In my observation of D.I.V.A.S I recognized that within the community there are subcommunitiescommittees with their own objectives that contribute to the main goal. There are
four committees within D.I.V.A.S. in which an Each committee is headed by an e-board member
that is in charge of duties such as publicity, community service, fundraising, and internal affairs.

Commented [O5]: This is a confusing sentence.

The publicity committee is in charge of all of the D.I.V.A.S advertisement from the information
tables the University of North Carolina at Charlottes in the student union to the social media
posts on sites such as Instagram and Facebook. The community service committee is in charge of
all volunteer opportunities obtained and created by the D.I.V.A.S such as the International Fest
hosted by the University of North Carolina at Charlotte and the M DA Muscle Walk of Charlotte
which is walkathon for charity going towards people with various muscle disorders. The
fundraising committee is in charge of creating ways for the organization to make money and
support itself as well as the mentees and community. The money from this groups efforts goes
toward events such as Speed-dating With the D.I.V.A.S and Building Your Own Brand with
guest speaker Professor Brenda Tindal. In my observation of the speed-dating event I witnessed

Commented [O6]: Student Union. Also, dont forget that

your audience may or may not know what/where the
Student Union is.

LaRonde 3
how all of the members came together with their respective jobs to create a fun and interesting
experience. At the event, members wore all-black business-casual attire to represent unity and
also clearly identify those who were a part of the organization. From my observation I was able
to see how the ladies utilized each committee in order to communicate with each other as well as
the attendees. The internal affairs committee is constructed to handle any business that should be
dealt with within the club whether that be carpooling issues with the middle school visits or the
semiannual dues paid by all D.I.VA.S members. Each of these committees have their own goals
but come together collectively to achieve the discourse communitys main mission of

Commented [O7]: This is a very long paragraph. I would

consider dividing it up into multiple paragraphs.

empowering young women..

Commented [O8]: Which is?

The D.I.V.A.S use various forms of communication to connect with other

members. One of their main forms of communication is through email. The secretary Tracey
Simpson sends various emails throughout the week to keep all members updated on any issues,
events, and opportunities that arise. She also sends lesson plans and monthly calendars. Another
form of communication used is through a phone application called Groupme. With this phone
application members contact each other through a group chat about anything from official
D.I.V.A.S business to social events, pressing questions, inspirational messages, and any other
important matters. Often times when there is a miscommunication between members like at the
speed dating event I observed, the women take to the group chat to clear things up so everyone
has an understanding about what is going on. At one point in the Speed-dating With the
D.I.V.A.S event there was a mix up about where the food would be dropped off so that other
members could set up before doors opened for admission. Some members thought it would it be
dropped off at the venue on campus and others had the understanding it would be dropped at
UNC Charlottes student union. To correct this mistake, the committee in charge of the food got

Formatted: Indent: First line: 0.5"

LaRonde 4
on the Groupme chat to find out exactly what was happening and in less than ten minutes the
women obtained the food and had it at the venue ready for consumption. Other ways the people
of the community contact each other are Orgsync, phone calls and text messages. M embers who
are close personally tend to use phone calls and text messages more often than members who are
not, Though some members are closer than others, it seems that the community dynamic is not

Commented [O9]: How does the varying degrees of

closeness affect the community dynamic?

affected. The ladies welcome people they do not speak of as often into conversations as well as
activities within and out of the organization according to Vice-president Talmeisha Fronits.
A discourse community uses its participatory mechanisms primarily to provide
information and feedback. (Swales, 221). In John Swales article about discourse communities

Commented [O10]: Swales

he speaks of the way a discourse community uses mechanisms such as money semi-annual dues
to help and improve the organization. Every semester D.I.V.A.S takes up fifteen dollars in dues
which goes toward things such as group t-shirts and future events. The aforementioned
fundraising committee is the one in charge of handling these matters.
When asked about the purpose of D.I.V.A.S. President Chanelle Clayton said Our
mission is to just inspire and empower young girls facing adversity so I think were learning
different ways to do that. Its definitely like a teachingI guess a learning experience for me too
just founding the organization seeing it ([on) ] a day-to-day basis. M ore and more, the members
of D.I.V.A.S are finding ways to communicate their goals to the public. The publicity committee
uses publicity tables that are usually placed in the University of North Carolina at Charlottes
student union to advertise what the organization is about and the things it plans to do. The tables
are also adorned with flyers for members to give out so people can spread the word about
whatever is going on. The social media site Instagram is one of the greatest forms of
communication between this community and the public because it is a site people use very often

Commented [O11]: Are dues the only participatory

mechanism?

LaRonde 5
and many members use it to post about events and issues D.I.V.A.S wants to raise awareness
about. M ost importantly, the organization uses the voices of its members to communicate with
the young women at Ranson M iddle School. As mentors, members make personal relationships
with their mentees as well as many of the girls involved in the program so that they feel
comfortable in confiding in them. The mentors not only teach young women but they also learn a
lot about them and about what it is going on in the young minds of today.

Commented [O12]: Is this paragraph talking about

Swales characteristic #4?

According to Swales in order for a group to be a discourse community it must have

acquired a specific lexis Although there isnt a specific lexicon attributed to the discourse

Commented [O13]: Introduce Swales characteristic here.

community, there are a couple of is one terms and phrases that the people outside of D.I.V.A.S.
may not not all understandunderstand. D.I.V.A.S stands for Driven Intelligent Virtuous

Commented [O14]: Who is all?

Ambitious Sisters. The acronym can be used as a way to reference the group as a collective or
members individually. I think that because of the relaxed environment D.I.V.A.S has, it is not
important to have a language or vocabulary that specifically pertains to this group. Another term

Commented [O15]: DIVAS cannot be a discourse

community if it does not have some specific lexis.

often used by D.I.V.A.S is e-board or e-board members. The e-board is a coalition of

members who each lead a committee or carry-out a specific duty for the community. E-board
member Tracey Simpson holds the position of secretary and sends out all e-mails and
notifications about information pertinent to D.I.V.A.S. members. She also maintains all records
for the organization to make sure that the group is organized and runs smoothly. There are
various other e-board titles from president to treasurer and in each position that member takes on
various jobs to ensure that the community accomplishes its goal in the most effective way
possible.
Swales sixth characteristic states that In in order for D.I.V.A.S to successfully achieve its
goals there is a system or ranks to separate the work and conquer it efficiently. In the group there

Commented [O16]: Address Swales characteristic #6

here

LaRonde 6
are seven e-board members that have job titles that range from head of publicity to treasurer. In
each of these jobs the e-board takes the responsibility of directing a portion of the 65
organization members to complete their tasks. Because the group was only just founded the 31rst
of October 2013 all of the e-board members are still there minus except for two members who
are no longer with the organization. When members of the e-board can no longer complete their
duties another e-board member is chosen by way of democracy. Every semester a slew of new
members join the group and the scope of D.I.V.A.S widens more and more past the stereotypical
thought that they only serve members of the black community. In my interview with Chanelle

Commented [O17]: This needs to be further explained.

Clayton, she spoke of how people have asked her if other races could join because the group is
made of mostly black people. She said that it was funny as in odd that people have that view
because they have always welcomed people of races to join and participate in events that reach
all types of people like the International Fest hosted by the University of North Carolina at
Charlotte. People of all kinds are joining D.I.V.A.S because they too want to empower women
and influence other communities. Though D.I.V.A.S is an organization that still has a long ways
to go. There is sometimes confusion between members and according to Clayton they still have a

Commented [O18]: How so? Explain?

lot to learn about being an , thereorganization.

There is no doubt that it D.I.V.A.S is indeed a discourse community and with. Swales
six characteristics one can see it how it is defined as such. From its means of communication,
participatory mechanisms and lexis to its threshold member, it exemplifies what a discourse
community by accomplishing its goal of empowering young women and serving the community
of Charlotte, North Carolina.

Commented [O19]: Is this supposed to be your

conclusion?
Formatted: Indent: First line: 0.5"

LaRonde 7
Works Cited

Formatted: Centered

Swales, John. The Concept of Discourse Community/ Genre Analysis: English in Academic

Formatted: Font: Italic

and Research Settings. Boston: Cambridge UP, 1990. 21-32. Print

I really enjoyed reading your draft and learning about your discourse community. In order to
improve, I have a number of suggestions. First, you have a lot of ideas in your paper, and you
share a lot of information with the reader. However, sometimes it gets a bit confusing to follow.
By this, I mean sometimes you get off track with examples that are interesting but do not always
pertain to the point that you are trying to make. I would consider either reorganizing your paper
into shorter paragraphs or streamlining your ideas. Second, you seem to get off track towards the
end of your paper, and you seem to be missing your conclusion entirely. M ake sure that you
consistently discuss Swales if you are going to use him as the framework for your paper, and
dont forget your conclusion. Third, I would also like to see you incorporate your data more. You
frequently made claims but they werent always supported by information from your
interviewees or from your observations. M ake sure the reader knows where you are getting your
information. Finally, your sentence structure could be stronger. Be deliberate in your word
choices and think about how you are phrasing your thoughts. If you have questions regarding this
aspect, either make an appointment with the Writing Resources Center or come talk to me.
The following is the rubric for the assignment, including what you would have received had this
draft been your final draft. This grade will not be recorded anywhere. It is simply a chance for
you to see where you stand.
Category

S coring Criteria

Content
(65 points)

Is focused, clear, purposeful, and meets the needs of the audience

Properly addresses the question, What are the most important things for
an outsider to know about this community?
Describes Swales characteristic #1 (common public goals)
Describes Swales characteristic #2 (mechanisms of intercommunication)
Describes Swales characteristic #3 (participatory mechanisms)
Describes Swales characteristic #4 (utilizes genres)
Describes Swales characteristic #5 (specific lexis)
Describes Swales characteristic #6 (threshold level of members)
All claims made are supported. Writer uses specific references to data
and/or sources to support claims.
Introduction establishes a framework for the rest of the paper and
includes a thesis statement
Conclusion summarizes the paper and pushes the reader to think about
specific issues/concerns outside of individual discourse community.

Total
Points
5

S core
5

10

5
5
5
5
5
5

4
5
2
3
2
3

10

LaRonde 8
Organization
(10 points)
S tyle and
Conventions
(25 points)
S core

Utilizes a strong internal structure and purposefully moves the reader

through the text
Sentences are all well-crafted and consistently varied in structure, length,
and beginning. Vocabulary and word choice are precise and varied.
The writer demonstrates a firm grasp of the conventions of written
English (spelling, capitalization, punctuation etc.). There are no typos.
Is formatted according to the conventions of M LA
Is 1500 2500 words
Total Points

10

10
5
100

10
5
73