Alejandra Marroquin

Professor Payte
English 28
April 14, 2015
Disconnect and Reconnect
What does daily routine look like? Do people get up in the morning, check email, check
if any texts were received, then go take a shower and get dressed. Eat breakfast and during
breakfast; check Instagram and any Facebook updates, check twitter for any news updated and
check Snapchat for anything that may have missed while sleeping. All these different social
media is being checked before we even check in with any live person. This daily routine of
constantly checking our phones and computers is getting in the way of living a real life.
Foer says that the closer the world gets to our fingertips, the further it gets from our
hearts (Foer. How Not to be Alone: Commencement speech delivered at Middlebury College) it
seems we are always in contact with each other, but is the connection a substantial one? I believe
not. We choose what information we share with our Facebook friends and we go through
countless pictures and pick the perfect filter to put something in Instagram. But this is not real
life, this is an edited life; and is anyone really happy with this version of our life? I believe it is
important to learn to disconnect from this fake life and reconnect with our real life and the
people around us Depending on technology and secondary connections and IDistractions is
affecting peoples mental and physical and emotional health. .
Having a deeper, closer connection to each other and our community will help us be
happier, healthier people. It will help improve our physical and mental health and will create
more well-adjusted individuals. Kingsolver states that she sees our dream-houses standing

alone, the idealized life taking place in a kind of bubble meaning that we have been taught to
strive to live an isolated life were there really is only one character in the story and that is I.
But we are not happy living this way. We are constantly worrying about what people will think
of our success and what material success is being accomplished, but the accepted idea of success
is not the same for everyone. Its constantly changing and becomes harder and harder to obtain;
and easier t to fail at obtaining... We should stop striving for the material and put focus back on
the people in our lives. The real reward is to have successful relationships with the people around
us.
We are constantly connected to our friends and family through text and email and status
updates that when it comes to spending real quality time that there really isnt much left to talk
about because we already know what they did today, you saw the picture of the new shoes they
bought and you know they went out for sushi with Susie last night. This may even be
contributing to the belief that marriage may not be for the new generation. There was just an
article posted on the Huffington Post site written by Anthony DAmbrosio called 5 Reasons
Marriages Just Dont Work, and reason #3 listed by DAmbrosio is were more connected than
ever before, but completely disconnected at the same time. He then goes on to explain that we
argue over miss-interpreted texts and we have lost the physical connection in our life. We allow
too many distractions into our relationships that we do not experience the time with the other
person anymore.
This constant shallow connections are getting in the way of people experiencing their
lives; creating loneliness, poor health and depression. . In order to remedy this problem we need
to get back to the basics of having a real conversation face to face or even through the phone. We
need to remove the distractions when interacting with others and give them the full attention they

deserve as our friend or partner or family member or even children. There have been a few
studies performed to prove that we need the social connection in our lives to be happier healthier
people. Emma Seppala, professor at Stanford University has said that low social connections
has been generally associated with declines in physical l and psychological health as well as a
higher propensity to antisocial behavior that leads to further isolation. So if we dont break the
cycle it just gets worse and worse and people get further and further from each other and deeper
and deeper into their lonely whole.
In the article Social Relationships and Health: A Flashpoint in Health Policy by
Debra Umberson and Jennifer Karas Montez they explain the many reasons how having a strong
social tie improves our lives. They say that our mortality rate would be longer because we would
have a reason to live longer, our relationships. They also say that people who have a larger
support system in place tend to not be as stressed and avoid unhealthy habits such as drug and
alcohol abuse. Umberson and Karas Montez suggest that government should create policies to
enhance educational systems to teach social-emotional skills, interest in our city and encourage
the youth to look for meaningful jobs. Also for our governments to provide safe public places to
socialize and congregate in for example more parks or establishing clubs. (Umberson and Karas
Montez. Social Relationships and Health: Flashpoint for Health Policy August 12, 2011) If
schools, starting with grade schools start by teaching students the importance of community and
participating in community programs, then this value wont be something foreign and it wont be
so difficult as adults to be involved and cultivate more intimate relationships. Parents can do
their part too, put your phones down when you are spending time with your children and have a
real conversation. Dont have them fighting for attention with your email.

Not only would our physical and mental health improve, but also if we get more involved
in our community and each others lives we start to care more about what is best for my
community. It starts the transition from I to Us, we start to care more about what happens in
our community and that drives more civic activity. Voting rates go up and as a community we
become responsible for what happens around us. In the book Bowling Alone, Robert D. Putnam
shares how through the years we have become people that dont join. Somehow in the last
several decades of the twentieth century all these community groups and tens of thousands like
them across America began to fade. (Putnam Bowling Alone) he says that we have left the
bridge clubs and sewing circles and bowling leagues. As a result of us not joining we have lost
the interest to improve our community; so by re-joining the real world it can spark peoples
passion for politics and civil responsibility and create a stronger democracy. The reason this is
happening is because people are so focused on themselves and their problems that we have
forgotten about the greater good. People need to take a deeper interest in the community because
we have to create it for the future children.
It sounds like a difficult task because it is, if this was easy we could all do it. We have
been taught to just care about our success and our future and how people see us. Of course social
media and our favorite accessory, our phone, definitely dont help. We just have to start a little
bit at a time. Start by connecting with the people around you. This does not mean text them
more. This means when you are out having coffee with friend or having family dinner that you
are giving them the attention they deserve. Turn the phones off and just be with each other and
enjoy the company. Remove all the iDistractions as Foer would say and be in the moment. Little
by little this will spread to other people and through to the community. Social media and

technology isnt going anywhere, but we have to train ourselves to disconnect from it and really
experience life.

Work Sited
1. DAmbrosio, Anthony. 5 Reasons Marriages Just Dont Work Anymore Huffington Post. 13
Apr. 2015. Web
Foer, Jonathan Safran. How Not to Be Alone. The New York Times. 18 Jun. 2013 Web
Kingsolver, Barbara. How to be Hopeful. Duke Today. 11 May. 2008. Web
Montez, Jennifer and Debra Umberson. Social Relationships and Health: A Flashpoint for
Health Policy. National Center for Biotechnology Information. 4 Aug. 2011 Web
Putnam, Robert D. Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community. The
New York Times on the Web. Ch.1 2000.
Seppala, Emma. Connect To Thrive: Social Connection Improves Health, Well-Being and
Longevity. Psychology Today. 26 Aug. 2012. Sussex Publishers, LLC