Estefania Guarquin 8A

20/03/2015
Humans are compulsive and living on todays society have become difficult when you have
to build or create clear purposes on what is really important for living and being happy.
This is the reason why economy has been successful in all kinds of markets and industries.
Since desires do not have a real end, and resources are limited. Economy is the one (its a
person?) in charge of working with the available resources and creating with them
alternative uses to satisfy the basic needs of populations, taking into account the realities
and circumstances that each society has.
There does not exist a unique way to explain what nowadays could be economy, because it
is complex and it is influenced by the problems that the world experience today. I have to
say that for me economy is the way we as humans have to take choices between desires and
basic human needs, of course economy depends all on us including our agreement with
society and with our life because this will help to the development of a well organize
society, which is the reflection of our quality of life and the changes we can promote to
improve others quality of life (5 sentences and only one full stop? How could you have
broken this down further to help the reader?). Production is very important part of in
economy because what we produce, is what we can get back, to then satisfy our own needs.
Thats why economy is such an important cycle that involves all people's knowledge and
abilities working in society, that way it will be possible to help society growth.
Nowadays we have reach the point in which economy is not for our service because it have
get out of our management control? and instead of helping us distribute the resources we
have, we have become economy laborers, so for daily work we can receive a payment that

will help us to reach a status. Economy can create more opportunities of development for
some and close many for others. Having no balance, it creates consumerism and makes
others unable of having an equal amount of supplies or at least the basic and minimum
amount of the most important natural resources for life.

A very strong essay, but I would have liked to see you state your opinions a little more
clearly towards the end. A couple mistakes with word form and modal auxiliary (have, had,
has). There was also one sentence that has a confused word order. You also need to look at
how and when you are using punctuation.
Area
Task Response

Coherence and
Cohesion
Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range
and Accuracy
Formatting

Paragraphs
Capitalization and
punctuation.

high
low
fully addresses all parts of the task
barely responds to the
20-0
presents a fully developed position in
task
answer to the question with relevant, fully does not express a
extended and well supported ideas
position
may attempt to present
one or two ideas
but there is no
development
uses cohesion in such a way that it
has very little control of 20-0
attracts no attention
organizational
skilfully manages paragraphing
features
uses a wide range of vocabulary
uses an extremely limited 20-0
with very natural and
range
sophisticated control of lexical
of vocabulary; essentially
features; rare minor errors occur
no
only as slips
control of word formation
and/or
spelling
uses a wide range of structures with
cannot use sentence
20-0
full flexibility and accuracy; rare minor
forms except in
errors occur only as slips
memorized phrases
Emails have name, class, and title in
Student fails to use
10
subject line.
formatting
Essay has a title, name, and class.
Other formatting guidelines are followed.
Student uses paragraph structures.
Student fails to use any 5
Forming them correctly based around
form.
subject
Student uses both competently and
Student fails to use any. 5
fluidly.
doesnt use sentence
structure
100-0

Grade
18

18
17

17
10

5
5
Total
90