Maria Alejandra Matiz

What does the word economy mean to me?

By dictionary, the word economy refers to the wealth and proper caring of resources of
a country, region, company, etc. It stands for how the world functions, as every country
is dependent on each other, and so are people. Economy now forms a part of the modern
world and business, without it, our world would probably still be trading chickens for
cows. However, it is proven to be a difficult and sometimes overrated concept to
understand. A simple word like such can have massive meaning and impact behind it.
Among some of the things that come with economy come are excuses. World problems
are often blamed on the economy, but really, thats just because its the easy way out.
For example, corruption is something that is mostly caused because of peoples
ambition, so when people say that economy is the cause to how the worlds politicians
and governments are, I disagree. Economy is just the passage and way through society
societal development, the loophole to become an intelligent system, a perfectly placed
market. The only thing standing in the way of this is us.
Our ambition takes over; the thirst of power, the impulse of always wanting more and
never having enough, and we ruin what we built. Or sometimes, we ruin someone elses
what? and start stealing the bricks of their house to make ours taller. But then, another
thirsty politician comes, and steals our stolen bricks, to build his own massive castle.
This chain continues until they are eventually stolen back to the original owner, who now
puts them at the base so they wont be stolen. Instead, the whole construction is
destructed to reach the bricks. And like this, we keep living in unfinished brick houses
and cities, jealous people and fighting countries.

A very enjoyable essay to read, though your conclusion could do with strengthening up,
well done.
Some mistakes in word choice, and one sentence started with but, other than that very
good.
Area
Task Response

Coherence and
Cohesion
Lexical Resource

high
low
fully addresses all parts of the task
barely responds to the
20-0
presents a fully developed position in
task
answer to the question with relevant, fully does not express a
extended and well supported ideas
position
may attempt to present
one or two ideas
but there is no
development
uses cohesion in such a way that it
has very little control of 20-0
attracts no attention
organizational
skilfully manages paragraphing
features
uses a wide range of vocabulary
uses an extremely limited 20-0
with very natural and
range

Grade
18

18
17

sophisticated control of lexical

features; rare minor errors occur
only as slips
Grammatical Range
and Accuracy
Formatting

Paragraphs
Capitalization and
punctuation.

uses a wide range of structures with

full flexibility and accuracy; rare minor
errors occur only as slips
Emails have name, class, and title in
subject line.
Essay has a title, name, and class.
Other formatting guidelines are followed.
Student uses paragraph structures.
Forming them correctly based around
subject
Student uses both competently and
fluidly.

of vocabulary; essentially
no
control of word formation
and/or
spelling
cannot use sentence
20-0
forms except in
memorized phrases
Student fails to use
10
formatting
Student fails to use any
form.

19
10

Student fails to use any. 5

doesnt use sentence
structure

100-0

total
92