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TheirAsburyAngus:AComparativeNarrative

Oceanmountains.ThatoleBlueRidgeMountainRangefileddowntosoftwavesof
azure,systematicallycrashingthroughtheShenandoahValley.Blurrywithmytearsbut
sharpinoutlinewithmyraging,squintingconcentration.Istompupthesteepgreenhill
withthepurposeofapreachersteppingupintoapulpit.
Talkingdoesntseemtowork,sothistimeIwillbeshouting Igiveadignifiedupdate.
Silence.
ThepungentsmellofadriedupcowpattywaftsuptomynoseasIameyeballingthe
halfwaypoint.Iamslidingpast.Pause.Blackjack,myfamilyspetbabycow,peersatme
withheavyeyelidsandtheconcernofaninterruptedmusician.Hiswholelefthindsideis
plasteredwithlightershadesofbrown.HeispureAngusbeef,andhestandsas
temporarymascotforthefarmwecallAsburyAngus,forthehomewecallAsbury
Angus.Istarebackathim.
IsupposeyouwouldliketojoinmeinbellowingtoGod?
Hisdisinterestdriveshimbacktolickingthesaltblockwithhisdisproportionately
coloredtongue.Hemakesmefeelmelancholy;astepdownfromindignation,mindyou.
Icockmyheadtothesidetobreathethefreshlybushhoggedfieldandeveningdew.My
stompingslowstoaconstantmarch.Godhasnevershoutedback,butthistimeIfeelasif
hereallyhasntproperlyconsideredlisteningandactingback.Ifigureabsurdshoutingin
themiddleofasymbolicallygreenpastureshouldatleastdrawoutHisirony.
Godhasasenseofhumor, mymomsighsthesouthernadageinmymemory.
Okay,then,funnyworld.Revealyourself!Letmerevelinyourwitandcharm.
Blackjackturnsbacktome.IdecideIwanttotouchthewhitestarprecariouslybalancing
betweenthelong,thicklashesheapedabovehisdarkeyes.Cowfurissothin;Ifeelhis
thickskin.Concentrate.Okay.
Abrilliantsunstandsinpermanentstateofvolcaniceruptionrightbehindthecool
mountainwave.Onestepfurtherandthehillwoulddroplikeananchorpullingtowline;I
restatthetippytop.Theprickleofsummergrassbeneathmycalvesandbehindmy
kneestriggersamemory:Sky,black,sky,black,Iambarrelrollingdownthecowpatty
speckledslope.Mybrothertumblesclosebehindinafitofgirlishgiggles.Weloveto

rolldownthesteepfarmhillswhentheeveningbringscoolair.Wecallitsummer
sledding.Thesolareruptiontakescoverbeneaththemountain,leavingthevalleyvoidof
itsgoldenbrushstrokes,butleavesremnantsofpinkwispsstutteringacrossthesky.My
parents divorceispryingmefromthisfarmandpairingitwithavacant,irrelevantface.I
whisper.
Whythen,wouldIberaisedhere?
Homelesssuddenlydifferentiatesitselffromshelterless.Thethoughthunchesmyspine,
andIletmytearsrollintothesoil.Imshaking.Imsobbing.Imshouting.
BUTTHISISBASE.YOUCANTTAGMEHERE!EVENIFYOUAREGOD.
EventhoughyouareGod.
ThewinddriesmyfaceuntilitjustlookslikeIvesneezedtwelvetimesinarow.Ican
feelmyeyesshiningandmymascaraconnectingdotsbetweenmyfreckles.Im
beginningtowanderdownthehilltoapondthatresemblesanoversizedmudpuddle.
Thebreezeblowsandgoosebumpsriseonmyarms,soIturnaroundandwearilypull
mylegsintoabriskwalk.Ifigurethe35acresoffarmlandand10acresofwoodlandis
expansiveenoughformetorevisitinsecretwhenthefarmissold.Peopletypicallyonly
shootatmaletrespassersaroundhere.Iconsolemyselfwithmoraljustificationsof
lifetimetrespassingrights.
Ahop,skipandhighschoolcareerlater,AsburyAngusstillstandsinPricepossession.
Divorceshaveawayofsplinteringallpeopleandpossessionsinvolved,withthe
exceptionofatleastonefamilyliferemnantthatneitherpartycanbeartochalkupto
collateraldamage.Itisusuallyavestigethat,whenpreserved,canattesttoatleastone
small,albeitmartiallyinsignificant,success.AsburyAngus,withitschurninghills,form
fittingfences,andcombedfields,isadirectresultofseventeenyearswithtwolives
cohabitating,coexisting,cogenerating.Sometimesthevestigesofdivorcearethe
children;myparentsvestigeisthefarm.EvenasItraversethesamegrainsofearth,cold
andpackedyearslaterintowintersnavel,Iamnotresentfultostillbesplintering.I
wouldratherhavethefarm.Thegrassgraysfromacoldseasonstouch,butitremindsme
ofanagingfoundation.Themudpuddlepond,hazywithchunksofice,tauntsthe
tonguesofnewborncalves.Rowsofbarrenbrownlimbsstandtoattention,salutingthe
sameeruptivesun,patientlywaitingforittobringforthspringlife.Istilltracethat
foundationwithmyfeet,anditbringsmeforward.

Imarchupthehillandknowhome.

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LaHispaniolaisjustahandfuloflandmassamongtheCaribbeansarchipelago.Ithouses
HaitianandDominicanpeople.Itraveltheretohearthemeat,tastetheirwords,and
observetheirlanguage.IyearntobefamiliarwiththeirAsburyAngus.Aspartofa
universityprogram,Isettleintoawhitevanthatseatsninewithfourteenother
Americans.Ourdriverspinsusthroughcitycolorswhileoccasionallypluckinga
buildingsfadedpinkorburntorangeintoattentionwiththejoltofbrakes.Weapproacha
compoundenclosedinwhitewallstoppedwithcurlsofbarbedwire.Theirsecurityguard,
atoothspeckledsmiler,wavesusthroughtheirondressedgateswithhisshotgun.Iam
peelingmystickyskinoffthevanseatasIsquintintotheapproachingdarkness.
Wesitinthekindofshelteryoutypicallyholdyourfamilyreunionin.Achalkboard
standswithimportanceatcenter.Itsconditionislaughable.Myeyesfrownastheyperuse
thewebbedcracksandbluehue.Scan.Pause.Frown.Scan.Pause.Fourwhiteeyesstare
tome.TwoHaitianimmigrantsseemeseethem.Ishovemyglancedownwardandsettle
inmynarrowwoodenchair.SevenHaitianmigrantworkersoccupythefrontofthe
shelterlikeambassadors.Theybegintochatterwithourprofessor,Felix.Haitianskinis
royalblack.Itholdsthesameauthorityastheblackofnight.TheirslowSpanishand
2nd languagewordchoicesmakeiteasyformetounderstand.SinceFelixstandsinas
translator,heintroducesusastheyouthoffutureandimportance.Theirnonchalant
attitudeexudesjudiciousintellect.Theydonotpaymindtooursaidimportance.One
manhasyouthfulwrinklesthatflitacrosshisfacewithsageinitialandphilosophical
skepticism.Awoman,bralessandclothedonlyinblacksweatpantsandawashed
throughbluetshirt,demandsattentionwiththestrengthinhervoice.Shespeaksand
marinatedthoughtcomesout.Thelettersofeachwordpushforthfromhertongueinto
thethicknessofDominicanair,takingtheshapeofsmallfontcapitalletters.
Whatwilltheydowithourlivesafterwehandthemforth?Whatpurposedoourwords
anddredgedupsufferingserveifonlytobebrieflyentertained?
Shequestionsourintent.Mycheeksfloodwithaheatedred.Truthfully,wegaveour
parents dollarstothisuniversityprogramtogetusfirstrowseatstothislecture,afront
rowviewoftheirsuffering.Afterall,thisistheeducationandawarenessthatJMU
promisestodeliveritsstudents.Thisishowtheuniversitychurnsoutglobally
enlightenedcitizens.Theonsetoffoolishnessbeginsinthesolesofmyfeet,workingits

waytotugtheviscerainmyabdomendown,down,down.Theveryconceptof
awarenessblushes,anditistumblingdownthroughmymind.
WearelegalworkersoftheDominicanRepublic.Thepolicebashtheheadsofourkin
withthebuttsoftheirdiscriminatoryguns.
Butgunsaremeantforcompletejobs,atriggerpullanddone.Theyareusedlikean
unsharpenedknifehere,toleavescarsforremembering.Discriminationabounds.
Weeducateouryouthherebecausethegovernmenthasrevokedtheircitizenship.
Thegovernmenttwiststhebluntknife.Depriveapopulationofeducationandyourracial
slursaboutstupiditywillbecometrue.Oppressionabounds.
TheDominicanRepublicscorruptgovernmentpassedResolution12, whichrevoked
thecitizenshipofmanyHaitians.ItlendscredencetotheDominicanintoleranceof
Haitians.HaitiwillnotacceptpeopleofHaitiandescentthatwereborninthe
neighboringcountryjustbecausetheysharethesameroyalskinandculturalhistory.Ten
byten,Resolution12 rendersDominicanHaitianshomeless,AsburyAngusless.
Ilookuptothe25wattlightbulbhanginginacreviceoftheshelterceiling.Itssteady
buzzshowcasesitsaudibleefforttoshooawaytheenvelopingnighttime.Thisisthelight
thatallowsthemtoteachaftersundown.Icantseethechalkboard.
Peopledonotcarehowmuchyouknow,unlesstheyknowhowmuchyoucare.
Mommaswordsgripmeintoasympatheticexpression.Tocareisaverb,anaction.
TheseHaitianmigrantworkersarebirthwronged.MybirthrightisAsburyAngus.My
mindworkstorecallthedifferencebetweenhomelessandshelterless.Myidentityleans
onmyhome.Peoplearemigratingfrompoverty,fromdesolation,fromHaiti.Theyare
bearingDominicancitizenswhopopulateandpushforththeeconomy.Theyare
transferredovertheborderbyorganizationsthatlegallyhelpthemfindjobsinthe
DominicanRepublic.Buttheyareundocumented becausepovertystoletheirchanceat
abirthcertificate.Theirchildrenarebornhereanddeniedcitizenship.Nocommunity
ownership,nohealthcare,noeducation,nojobopportunities.Nowheretoproveworth
andearndignitythroughtheapplicationofknowledge.Novote,nopower.Oppression.
Withoutdocumentation,thepolicerefusetolookattheproofofliferisingandfalling
throughouttheirchestsandshoulders.NoID,nobreath.Humanrightsareforhumans.Is

theconditionofhumanitydependentontheexistenceofabirthcertificate?Ifso,then
whydotheofficers with birthcertificatesbruisebodieslikeviolentprimates?The
injusticehookstotheinsideofmybackandpullsangrybreathsupthroughmyclavicle.
ParticlesofDominicanairsticktogetherandIpulltheminmymouthlikecigarsmoke.
Inmymind,IstompupthehillofAsburyAngus.Thistime,whenIshoutatthetop,it
willbetomyworld.
Westandonwobblylegs,ridourselvesofpaperpesosintotheirneedinghands,and
circleuptoendinprayer,Haitianstyle.ItistherethatIbegantowhispertoGod.
ThankyouformyAsburyAngus.Helpmetorestoretheirs.

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