WRITING REFLECTION # ____4_____

Mrs. Cracchiolo (2014-2015)

PIECE OF WRITING _________Heart of a Man or a Woman_______________
In class writing OR out of class writing
1. Looking at the feedback, what/where do you think you did particularly well?
The thesis statement seems to be written very clearly in this paper compared to the
other essays I have written. A lot of times, my thesis statement is hard to understand
because I try to crunch everything I am going to talk about in one sentence. However,
the thesis statement is very simple and clear in this essay and easy to understand with
the great lead in into the thesis statement, so I think it was pretty well done. The paper
seems to be consistent with the use of present tense. The paper seemed to be connected
to the thesis statement through the whole essay which made the paper well written. The
explanation seemed nicely written with some need of improvement. There were also
commentaries.

2. Looking at the feedback, what do you think was the area you need the most
improvement in and why? (Be Specific)
I personally want more flow in the introduction in the beginning because the sentences
feel choppy, and the sentences dont feel as connected to the topic written in the
previous sentences. In the beginning, it wouldve been nice to have a little more
transition and diction. The topic sentence of the first paragraph is unclear because I
wasnt sure how to connect the topic sentence with the small description I was about to
write which backfired on me since the teacher recognized the topic sentence to be more
of the part of the story summary. I shouldve written precisely what the paragraph was
going to be about. Some grammatical errors may need fixing since a formally written
paper should be complete in MLA format. Some of the sentences should be worded
better for a deeper understanding. Some details should be elaborated to connect better
with the thesis for formal writing. Topic sentence is missing in the first paragraph, making
the paragraph unclear. Some of the supporting details are missing, making the essay less
professional. Maybe including the relevance to thesis statement in the supporting detail
as well may help to make it look more professional.

3. Did the loop cycle work for you? Why or why not?
The loop cycle did work for me because it organized the paper well into two body
paragraphs. The loop cycle created consistency in the paper as well. Since I chose the
topic about contrasting imagery for developing characters, creating two paragraphs and
two supporting details for each paragraph was perfect for this essay. Four quotes were

incorporated as my supporting details. One paragraph became about Macbeth, and the
other paragraph became about Lady Macbeth. The two supporting details became about
the contrast in character these two shows that were developed by the contrasting traits
of men and women. The flexibility in using this structure helped to create a paper with
great detail. I was able to stick to the thesis throughout the whole essay because the
topic sentences and supporting details related back to the thesis statement. I was able to
explain the traits of these two characters in detail because of the supporting details.

4. Body paragraph construction is the most important part of your paper since this is the
area that uses evidence to back up your claims. Looking at your paper and feedback,
rate yourself overall on the following elements that correspond to the loop structure.
(STRONG
AVERAGE
WEAK
MISSING)
Topic Sentences:
Suppoting Details (SD):
Explanations (EXP):
Closings (CLOS):
Transitions:
Incorporating Quotes:
Set up quotes:

________Weak__________
_______Weak__________
_______Average_______
_______Average_______
________Strong________
_______Strong________
______Average________

Used quote and documenting properly:

______Average_______

Explain relevance:

_______Average________

Concluding sentences:

_______Average________

OVERALL RATING:

_______Average________

5. The big question: based on your comments, checklist where you rated yourself on body
paragraph structure, and overall score, what NEW GOAL do you have for your next
writing assignment? In other words, what skills will you try to focus on in the future and
why?
GOAL:
For my next paper, I would like to focus on connecting the details to the thesis statement
through elaborating the details and using diction.

WHY:
Through elaborating the details, I would hope to connect the details better with the thesis
statement. By using more details, it would help connect to the topic sentence and link the
topic sentence to the thesis statement. In this way, the paper would become more formatted
and professional as a formal essay. The essay will become more gathered in thought, and

the idea will come through to the audience more clearly, making it look neat. If I use better
word choices, it will also help to make the essay more professional, neat, and
understandable.

6. Any other feedback youd like to share??