Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Issue 1
Print Me
November, 2014
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professor Mr. incenzo, who was heard
telling a fellow teacher that when I was
their age, I was taking my certification
exams for this job. If they want to take the
test, let them. At press time, the seventh
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iPhone 7 also appeals to parents. Due to its large size, it will help parents identify whether their
teenage kids are texting in bed due to its inability to hide efficiently. Hunter's principal is
particularly excited about the new iPhone, as he quotes "The new big screen might be enough to
turn this abandoned armory into an abandoned armory with fake windows. I hope it will be
enough to fool the NYC Buildings Department. Also, if you think texting in bed will be hard,
try texting in class. Try it, I dare you. Apple also released iOS 8.1. It is loaded with cool
features like AppLock for all apps, new emojis, and ability to talk to Siri while multitasking,
and more for only 15.8 GB of space. Its so cool! one student quotes, l mean like, it keeps
crashing and I never have enough space for apps. That means it must be so complicated and the
best iOS yet!Apple have also unveiled the iCarryMyPhoneBag, a $300 bag meant to hold and
protect your new iPhone, and when Chapter 11 asked for the reasoning behind this, Apples
CEO said Well, anything with the Apple logo looks cool. Available in 6 different colors! Also,
Im finally going to be a trendsetter.
I fart in your
general
direction!
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NFL Player Banned for Life After Testing Positive for DayQuil
By Lucas Katz, Layout Editor
in the NFL and partaking in any NFL activities
effective immediately. After testing positive for
DayQuil, which had been recently added to the
banned drug policy of the NFL, Schmoney
Whylin was immediately suspended and had
awaited his judgment. Goodell stated, We do
not tolerate drug use of any kind. Theres no
room for that kind of criminal offense in our
league. If theres anything I value its integrity.
Schmoney had this to say, Dayum man,
people blowing up your spot when you just
tryna get rid of a cold. In other NFL news
NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell
Clementine Cot has been reinstated from his
announced yesterday in a press conference that
two day suspension after a thorough
Schmoney Whylin, the starting RB for the New
investigation of his brutal murder of four
York Jets, would be officially banned from
kidnapped children
playing
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Even so, his life was a sacrifice for the greater structural stability of the
society. We all must make sacrifices.
Grade Dater
By Lucas Katz, Layout Editor,
The newest Hunter dating app has been officially released this
year. Its called Grade Dater and has already created 14 new Hunter
student relationships. Grade Dater takes students grades and using an
advanced logarithm, matches them up with students who have similar
grades. The creator of Grade Dater Rulian Josenblum had this to say,
Ever since FreshStart died out, Hunter has just been missing that big
thing that brings people together. And then one day I realized, what do
Hunter students love more than anything else in the world, talking about
their grades. So I created Grade Dater. Grade Dater has been a huge
success. Senior student Average Joe, a user of the app had this to say,
Since I came to Hunter Ive had trouble finding the right girl for me
because I didnt know whether their intelligence level matched mine, but
now with Grade Dater, finding that special someone is easier than ever!.
Vows
Two Seventh Graders *Officially* Started Dating Last Friday
For five weeks they claimed to have no feelings for one another, but it was no surprise when two
weeks ago he blurted out an invitation to see The Maze Runner. Based on information from
Google+ chat room histories, we give the relationship until next Tuesday.
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