Professional Documents
Culture Documents
It is however, a
question worth asking. I find that every aspect that makes up who I am, is
constantly changing, growing, learning, and adapting. While I may have many titles,
including; mother, daughter, student, friend, employee, and sister, the underlying
self in each of these titles are intertwined with much larger and complex systems.
Many of my beliefs and values are rooted in my past but they are continually being
reshaped as I become more educated and self-reliant. In the book, The impossible
will take a little while, by Paul Roget Loeb, there is an excerpt from the author Henri
Nouwen, that relates to the process in defining personal growth.
Because life is very small, you can never see it happening. Have you ever
seen a tree actually grow? Growth is too gentle, too tender. Life is basically
hidden. It is small and begs for constant care and protection. If you are
committed to always saying yes to life, you are going to have to become a
person who chooses it when it is hidden (Loeb, 114).
This quote is very inspiring because, it addresses the idea of growth as an
important aspect in a persons life. Personal growth manifests into how someone
defines self. It is the collaboration of lifes lessons. I believe that who I am is
constantly unfolding. Reflecting on lived experiences may help explain how I got to
be the person I am today but as time goes on, new experiences are likely to change
what it means to be me. By recounting the interconnectedness I have within larger
systems, using the ecological systems to organize these systems interactions,
relating my life in terms of chaos theory, identifying my reaction patterns and
limitations, and exploring my authenticity, I will have a better understanding of self
and my personal landscape.
Overall, I bear far more responsibility than I ever had before. I also believe that with
the decision to have a child, I became motivated to accomplishing my academic
goals. Before I was pregnant I was an on and off again student at the community
college. While I had goals to someday go to a university, I had never put conscious
thought or effort in figuring out what direction in life I wanted to go. Once I had my
son, everything became clear. I was motivated to set an example for him. As life
continues we constantly negotiate identities. Identities are multidimensional and
change in response to the people and institutions we connect with (pp, Identities
and Chaos Theory). The bifurcation point of becoming a mother has directly
changed the roles and institution I identify and interact with.
The Butterfly Effect is a theory that explains how a small or seemingly
insignificant event can have substantial waves of consequences. According to the
author, Peter Dizikes, Lorenz also discovered stricter limits on our knowledge,
proving that even models of physical systems with a few precisely know variables,
like a heated gas swirling in a box, can produce endlessly unpredictable and
nonrepeating effects (Dizikes, 2008). To further explain, you may be able to predict
some ways in which an event will have an effect, but it is impossible to pinpoint the
exact cause and effect of it.
In order to apply the butterfly effect theory to my own life, I focused on the
events that led up to my significant life changes. One of the biggest life changes I
have made was when I decided to move to Bellingham right after high school. The
small event that led up to this big change was when my friends and I drove up here
for a Halloween party. I immediately fell in love with the town. I loved the
atmosphere, and the people. It was this event that would influence my decision to
moving up here. While Im sure there were other factors that helped contribute to
this change, I believe they all stem from the first night I came up here. If I hadnt
gone to that party, I may not have decided that this is where I wanted to move. If I
had stayed in Olympia or gone somewhere else, it would have changed where I go
to school. I would have never met my sons father, therefore not having a child with
him. I would not have gained all the relationships I have with my co-workers and
friends up here. This small event in my life has had a great effect on my major
changes.
According to the power points shown in class, self-organization is the, ability
of systems to organize themselves out of apparent disorder. Examples of selforganization would be, the types of friends you have, and the inclination to
associate with groups that have similar values and beliefs.
The way in which I have come to self organize, has been to keep close
relationships with those who have similar goals and beliefs as me. All of my closest
friends share the goal in achieving a higher education. We are all working on goals
to better our future.
Reaction patterns are another tool used to help better understand
myself. It is the repetitive elements in my actions or behaviors, as described by
others or myself. One reaction pattern that has come up in from people in almost
every aspect of my life is my need for conformation. In my friendships, I find myself
asking them if they are upset with me. When my friends tell me no, I feel more sure
and confirmed of our friendship. In my work setting, I ask my boss if he thinks my
work ethic is up to par. In my intimate relationship in the past my constant need for
affirmation has caused arguments. I am not sure what the cause of this reaction
means, stop pretending to be super woman. When people ask me how I work two
jobs, go to school full time, and be a mom, I respond usually by saying its not as
hard as it seems. I want people to get the impression that I can handle everything.
Because of this, I sometimes find myself taking on more responsibility than I can
handle. If someone at work is sick they will call me to work because they know I will
do it. In reality, I cant handle all of this. I need to find a way to better organize my
responsibilities and not try to pretend to be superwoman.
From all of the different elements discussed in this paper, I feel as though all
of them are useful in helping me become a human service professional. By using
the ecological systems theory, I was able to gain better insight into how the
institutions and systems in my life are all intertwined. As a professional this is
helpful because I will be able to view a client not just by their micro systems but
their relationship within all systems. This gives me as a professional, a variety
perspective to view a client, rather than just focusing on their immediate systems.
By analyzing my limitation in a diverse setting, I realized that I feel anxious when
interacting with disabled persons. As a professional this means, I should work
towards settling those anxieties by interacting more with people who are differently
abled. Aligning my espoused way of being to my actual way of being was helpful in
my development as a human service professional because, it allowed me to see
that I need to be a better reflective listener. Being a better reflective listen is an
important trait to have as a professional in a giving career. Throughout all of these
tools we have learned this quarter, I feel as though I am closer to reaching my goals
as a human services professional.