The End of the World (Infinity)

Robert W. Wilson, Jr.

Ive been thinking about infinity lately. More so than usual. Im not sure why, really
its not as though it will serve any real purpose; and at the same time, I know
without a doubt why. Perhaps its because I know what the future brings and I am
seeing the importance of our lives in comparison with the universe at last. Or
perhaps its also because I need something to relax my mind and keep me seated in
thought, instead of wandering outside and looking up at a sight that makes me want
to scream
When I was younger, I used to spend nights standing outside, looking up into the
bright black sky until my neck hurt. I gazed at every twinkling star, remembering
that it took millions of years for their light to reach Earth. Millions of yearsit pained
me to know that even when the star and I are both long gone, that light will still be
shining on this small planet, the stars legacy outlasting my own, and will be
marveled at far more. I will become dust, and it will become legendary. Thats when
I began to think about infinity, of time without end. I stared into the northern abyss,
imagining the ends of the universe stretching on and on, ever-reachinginto what?
With a sudden splitting headache, feeling like stern punishment for trying to open a
forbidden door, I realized why it is so hard for humans to understand the concept.
We are used to things being finite, like us, having a beginning and an end. Alpha
and Omega. Start and finish. To be infinite is to be God, to be immortal and
supernatural, to be wonderful and amazing, a fate not reserved for any breathing
creature like ourselves, only dangled in front of us to envy. This mystical mockery
leaves me dissatisfied, feeling incomplete, as though this life I have is not enough.
I must admit that, given my fascination with astronomy, it took me this long to
figure it out. But then again, no one thought this era would end so soon. The
scientists, the people that the world turns to for guidance when faith fails, when
they need solid facts, miscalculated. They were toying with dark matter, the
essence of the very universe for Gods sake! They made assumptions about
something they didnt even understand! Regardless, they flipped the switches and
pressed the buttons and took us all down with them. It was originally supposed that
the Big Bang generated enough force that the speed of the universe could outrun
gravity, and thus stretch on forever, infinitely. But now, by some mind-boggling
chain of events that science will be able to explain, but not justify, the universe,
including all of the stars, planets, comets, and even the most beautiful of nebula are
coming back together, to reform the point of infinite density and heat that all we
know spawned from. The Big Crunch has begun, and the universe is coming to an
end billions of years ahead of scheduleand theres nothing that can stop it.
I remember when I first heard the news: it was everywhere, constantly on television,
on big bold headlines, and blaring on the radio, all the same message. People ran
through the streets, holding signs announcing that message, screaming The end is
here! The end has been here for fifty years now; the only difference is it grows
more visible with time. Every morning when I go outside to get the newspaper,

when the sky is still orange and the clouds an odd shade of purple, I can see on
either side of me, Venus and Mars, creeping ever closer. In the distance behind
Mars, the mammoth shape of Jupiter looms like a giant coming to crush us all
underfoot; and every year is a little bit hotter. Words cannot convey the sheer terror
and sense of awe accompanying a sight like that, but no matter how often I see it, it
never ceases to amaze and horrify. I believe we will all be dead by the time it all
comes back together, and I must admit I still envy the stars. By the time they die
and disappear, we mere mortal humans will still be left with the impression that
they, in all their majesty and beauty, are immortal, infallible, and infinite. Its the
ultimate trick.
Or maybe Im wrong. Maybe the world isnt coming to an end; maybe nothing truly
ever ends. The religious believe that life goes on beyond death forever, and some
others believe that after the Big Crunch, a new Big Bang will occur, and a new
universe will be created from the ashes of the old, like a great black, star-speckled
phoenix. I do not really care either way. As I write this, sitting beneath the same
stars I loved as a boy, my only real thought is this: I wish I can return to life as we
know it as a star, to burn brightly and intensely, to be grandeur and wonder itself,
and then explode with a fierce ferocity and violence, my remains scattered through
the cosmos forever and everfor infinity.