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Ngoc Tran
502A Elizabeth Ave.
Monterey Park, CA91755
Prof. Kirsten Ogden , MFA
Pasadena City College
English Division
Evaluation Assignment Cover Letter
Dear Prof. Ogden:
First of all, I would like to enclose my evaluation essay for Writing to Change
the World by Mary Pipher as below.
During my composing this essay, I have processed some strategies to write. At the
first time, I have reviewed all chapters of the book to get some ideas on my writing.
Honestly, when I read the assignment, I did not know what I would write in the essay. I
also read some evaluation essay from the reading book to get an idea for my writing.
Most of challenge is about getting some criteria to evaluate. This process needed much
time because all information of some chapters in the book must be scanned and
sometimes I must pay attention on many quotations closely. After I got some points, I did
my first draft to send to my partner. However, I have faced more challenging because this
book has similar ideas in a couple chapters, I thought. Thus, when I applied to my
writing, I needed to connect to my ideas.
After I got a revision paper from my partner. I have reviewed her revision and see
if I can revise on that. Also, I have spent much time on revising again to make my writing

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more cohesive. I have tried to research more to get outside sources to integrate to my
paper. I hope that my writing processes help me at writing.
I know that it could be having many issues. But I have tried my best to finish this
essay.

Sincerely,

Ngoc Tran

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Revision letter from Zijun Zhou
I think you did a good job starting the evaluation paper because I see you found

some outside sources and cite to support your evaluation. However, as Dr. Ogden
requires, you need to seek out research that develop ideas about what writing is for/ why
we write, how we should communicate, what the best way is for writers to learn etc. I
think one to two more sources will be adequate for this assignment, which can also make
your argument more convincing. Also, as I noted, some of your paragraphs do not flow,
that is, the body of your paragraph does not support your topic sentence. The second
paragraph starts with The first reason is because it inspires beginner writers at writing to
change the world. I assume you want to talk about how Pipher advocates writing to
change the world; however, you basically talk about how to start writing without
concerns. The paragraph does not flow. I suggest you change your topic sentence to
something like: Pipher encourages writers, especially the beginner writers, to start writing
without concerns.
The third paragraph ties more together, but remember to use less quote and more
paraphrase to balance the citation. For the fourth paragraph, it is more related with the
writing process diving in. So you probably want to consider merge this paragraph with
the part of diving in and develop a little after the diving in section. The conclusion
needs some work too. It is always good to reinforce your thesis this is a good book for
beginner writers. I would suggest you restate your thesis here and paraphrase your main
ideas (body paragraphs) and then wrap up with your evaluation and personal voice.
Good luck on your revision,
-Zijun

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Ngoc Tran
Prof. Ogden
English 1A #50680
14 Jun., 2015

Writing to Change the World

Mary Pipher, is a clinical psychologist and the author of nine books which include
some bestselling books on the New York Times, such as Reviving Ophelia, Another
Country, and The Shelter of Each Other (Mary Pipher BIO). One of her books name
Writing to Change the World, was published in 2006. It was a book, which wrote
through her work as a therapist. This book has divided into three sessions: What We
Alone Can Say, The Writing Process, and Calls to Action. Some chapters in the first
session, What We Alone Can Say, shares Piphers perspective on change writing and
introduces her ideas in finding readers voice and preoccupations. In the second part, The
Writing Process, author represents some strategies in getting started, revising and points
of view. And in the third session, Calls to Action, she gives more practical forms such
as personal essays, blogs, letters, speeches, music, and poetry (Pipher). This book has
been reviewed by many readers and writers within many perspectives. However, I think it
is really good for writers on how to write in order to change the world.
Piphers ideas are to inspire and to encourage beginner writers. Each person has
different perspectives, experiences, and professional skills that need to write out to
improve the world as Alex Haley shares Every death is like the burning of a library
(45). Haley compares peoples knowledge as a library. If people do not translate what in

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their mind to writing, they will lose many great ideas to change the world when they died.
During the first session, What We Alone Can Say, Pipher shares a lot of her
experiences in her life. How difficulties she was and how she connected her stories to be
a writer to inspire readers at writing. In addition, James Baldwin states The world
changes according to the way people see it, and if you alter, even by a millimeter, the
way people look at reality, then you can change it(24). Regarding of this quote, she
wants to encourage people to write what they see at reality to change the world. Also, In
the Diving In Getting Started of the second session, Pipher states it isnt the always
the task that is hard, but getting started which is the most difficult. Pipher argues writing
is the same way, thus it is equally as difficult to accept the label of being a writer. Some
people are scare of things that they have not known what will happen next and excuse to
delay or stop doing that. As being a writer, if we turn away from our difficulties, we
would not be a writer. She encourages people, When we equivocate, we lose an
opportunity to build our identities as writers. If you are not saying it already, I advise you
to learn to say you are a writer.(76). Thus, We do not scare of something hard; we get
started and keep working even thought we fail as Michael Crichton states Work inspires
inspiration. Keep working. If you succeed, keep working. If you fail, keep working. If
you are interested, keep working. If you are bored, keep working. (77). It is very
interesting to see how author shows her experiences and how she emphasizes using her
words to inspires inspiration for people to write as an agreement of Susan W. Clark for
this book, the book is peppered with inspirational quotes and plenty of substance that
can inspire you to write a better world into existence.(Writing Book Review)

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Another helpful of this book is to help writers finding their voice. Nobody can

understand us better than ourselves. Regarding of What You Alone Can Say, Pipher
shares, You have something to say that no one else can say. Your history, your unique
sensibilities, your sense of place, and your language bestow upon you a single
authority.(45). Therefore, we must explore ourselves to find who we are. It is really
important process to make us in correct direction to get involved in what we would write
because writing has many kinds such as poems, letters, stories, song, and so on, so we
need to find our voice to know what forms work for us. According to Writing to
Connect, author claims, Any form of writing can change the world. Your goal is to find
the form that allows you to use every one of your talents in the service of what you
consider to be your most important goals. You want to search for what you alone can say
and then how you can say it most effectively (27). Pipher is not only the writer who
shares how writers voice is necessary for writers at writing, many writers assert finding
their voice in writing is really important. Cris Freese in the article Voice in Writing:
Developing a Unique Writing Voice also shares When you find that unique voice, you
might not even be able to explain how it came aboutlet alone describe what it is. Thats
the beauty of writing and discovering as you write. Sometimes the best things just happen
naturally. Freese really wants to confirm that finding unique writers voice when people
are alone to make writers words more beautiful.
Throughout many ideas, experiences, and stories that Pipher has shared, she also
offers several beneficial techniques to help writers on writing process. When people
write, they have their own styles or strategies to apply on their processes. However, some
writers might not have or not know what processes they should do on their writing

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effectively. As we can know that the best writing will help readers on discovering
something new about them. According to Swimming Along - The Writing Process,
Mary Pipher claims that writers should write from their heart and be honest. They can
improve their lacking writing skill, but they need authentic emotion to show on their
writing. Also, writers should have their original thought. She says, Writing is not for the
fair of heart. To be successful, writers must say something better, different, or first.
(116). Moreover, writers need to clear point of view by advancing an argument. Readers
probably have different perspective. Another process she shares is to use metaphors.
They are an extreme way to express our ideas. Ted Kooser used this metaphor to
marvelous effect in his book The Poetry Home Repair Manual (124). She uses
swimming process as a metaphor to connect her experience of swimming and writing.
Not only some skills mentioned above, other many techniques such as organizing paper,
applying research, and providing interviews on writing are provided. Writers may find
some helpful strategies to improve their skills through authors experiences and her ideas.
For instance, metaphor technique is very popular; it is widely used by many writers.
According to Writing Exercises with Metaphors, Melisa Donavan asserts The most
effective metaphors trigger our senses by connecting an otherwise intangible subject to
sight, sound, smell, touch, or taste. If you can engage any of these senses through
metaphor, your writing will take on new life. Not only will it become more entertaining
and more memorable, it will be easier for readers to relate to what youre saying.
Donavan wants to represent that using metaphors effectively can easily relate our writing
to readers and make it more enjoyable and unforgettable.

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For all information is mentioned above, Writing to Change the World is a book

that readers should consider to put in their bookshelf. It really is a wonderful book for
beginner writers because this book is inspirational to writers, helping writers on selfrecognizing their voice and encouraging them, and offering many useful writing
strategies as well. These are one of some reasons that on the back cover of this book has
been introduced, Writing to Change the World is a beautiful paean to the transformative
power of words. Encapsulating Mary Piphers years as a writer and therapist, it features
rousing commentary, personal anecdotes, memorable quotations, and stories of writers
who have helped reshape society. It is a book that will shake up readers beliefs, expand
their minds, and possibly even inspire them to make their own mark on the world.

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Works Cited

Clark, Susan W. Writing Book Review: Writing to Change the World by Mary Pipher.
Writer on the Rise. 15 Jun. 2007. Web. 12 Jun. 2015.
Donovan, Melissa. Writing Exercises with Metaphors. Writing Forward. Writing
Forward. 2015. Web. 14 Jun. 2015.
Freese, Cris. Voice in Writing: Developing a Unique Writing Voice. Writers Digest.
Writers Digest. 12 Sept. 2013. Web. 13 Jun. 2015.
Mary Pipher BIO. Penguin Random House. Penguin Group USA. n.d. Web. 14 Jun.
2015.
Pipher, Mary Bray. Diving In Getting Started. Writing to Change the World. New
York: Riverhead, 2006. 75-87. Print.
Pipher, Mary Bray. Swimming Along - The Writing Process. Writing to Change the
World. New York: Riverhead, 2006. 109-31. Print.
Pipher, Mary Bray. What You Alone Can Say. Writing to Change the World. New
York: Riverhead, 2006. 45. Print.
Pipher, Mary Bray. What We Alone Can Say. Writing to Change the World. New
York: Riverhead, 2006. 17-72. Print.
Pipher, Mary Bray. Writing to Connect. Writing to Change the World. New York:
Riverhead, 2006. 27. Print.
Pipher, Mary Bray. Writing to Change the World. New York: Riverhead, 2006. Print.