Name: _____________________________________

English 11
Paragraph Revision
Directions: Make the necessary revisions to the paragraph below.
Things to consider:
1. Sentence combining
4. Tone/Voice
7. Logical order
2. Word choice
5. Spelling
8. Subject- verb
agreement
3. Punctuation
6. Sentence structure
9. Deleting offtopic details
(1) The past is filled with a lot of important people. (2) Many of them have
been forgotten. (3) Haywood was born in 1860, in Salt Lake City. (4) One of these
memorible people is William Big Bill Haywood. (5) He was a man who worked
tirelessly to organize a labor union. (6) This union protected workers from injustices
in the workplace. (7) He loved to cook. (8) He was motivated to fight for workers
due to his struggle growing up. (9) His childhood was very difficult because he
expirienced many hardships. (10) Many people today share his passion for cooking.
(11) Haywood was born into a family of hard working farmers. (12) He had to work
in the mines as a young child. (13) His family was poor, and he needed to help
bring in money. (14) He didnt have time to attend school. (15) He worked a lot.
(16) Although, he never finished school past 4 th grade he was able to fight for those
in the work place.
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