Kelsey Roberts

English 1101-709
Rachel Porter
4/28/15
Children of same-sex parenting
About 25 million U.S. citizens are gay or lesbian. Six to 14 million children have at least
one biological gay or lesbian parent (Sullivan, 1995), and eight to 10 million children are being
raised in lesbian households (Harvar 1990). According to the census (34.3 percent) and one in
five gay male couples (22.3) raising children under 18 years old. Yet there are still many
arguments in todays society about the disadvantages of children being raised by same sexparents. For instance, society has expressed its concerns about the childrens home environment,
personal development, and psychological effects. Children of same sex-parents are able to
function just as well as children who are raised by heterosexual parents.
In earlier times the home environment was pretty traditional, and the households consist
of one man and one woman, single parent homes, or grandparents raising the children. As
generations have passed times have changed and the traditional home environment is no longer
the norm. As the homosexual community began to be accepted they began to have rights to raise
families. Same-Sex parenting began to be a part of societys home environment. In terms of
family support, Kurdek and Schmitt (1987) found that adult same sex-couples reported less
support from their families of origin than did heterosexual couples. Researchers have also found

that some same-sex couples have indicated that, despite their disapproval, their family support
actually strengthens (Lasala, 1998; Murphy, 1989). Even though there are odds against them,
their home stricture is still strong even without much support from their family. Children raised
by same-sex parents actually do better than children raised in heterosexual homes. Findings from
Crowl et al; s (2008) met analysis produced a very clear result only in one area: non-heterosexual
parents on average indicated significantly better relationships with their children than
heterosexual parents. Same Sex Parents tend to be more nurturing while also teaching their
children diversity.
According to several studies two mothers may actually provide a more nurturing and
accepting environment than a mother and father (Redding). Last, it is likely that children raised
by gay and lesbian parents will be better able to fully appreciates human diversity and accept
others who may be different from them (Redding). Same Sex households have longer
committed relationships which is an advantage because it creates more stability for the child.
According to the 2000 Census documents gay and lesbian couples are more than twice likely
(41.1 percent) to be involved in a long term relationship (lasting more than five years) than
unmarried heterosexual couples w/children (19.1 percent). Homeownership is also considered
indicative of family stability, the rate of homeownership among gay and lesbian couples (64.3
percent) which far exceeds unmarried couples (45.4 percent) according to 2000 Census, is
further evidence of gay and lesbian parents capabilities to create a safe, healthy, and stable home
environment for children they raise (Bennett and Gates).
When it comes to personal development sexual orientation for the most part does not play
a key role factor in the childs development but society and its discrimination can cause major
effects. Existing body of research comparing gay and lesbian parents with heterosexual parents

has shown that parent sexual orientation is not related to negative psychological adjustment or
overall negative developmental outcomes in children (Allen & Burrell). However, most gay and
lesbian families frequently face discrimination both within and outside of schools (Ryan &
Martin) and continue to lose custody of their children (Stacey & Biblarz). Although this is an
effect on the children and families there are things that could help the gay and lesbian
community as a whole. Self educating ourselves within the schools, law, and gaining knowledge
about these families could go a long ways for not only the gay and lesbian community but to gain
understanding for everyone as well helping to accept and embrace and not discriminate.
Despite the challenges and needs of children raised by gay and lesbian parents,
professionals within school systems often lack knowledge or experience with sexual minority
parents, typically leads to a resistance in understanding and respecting the needs of both parents
& children (Ryan & Martin). Learning to be diverse helps children and professionals as well.
Understanding what differences may or may not exist for children brought up w/ same-sex
parents will benefit professionals and schools in a number of ways. This would primarily allow
school practitioners to work more effectively w/children, given that having knowledge about
culturally diverse populations is a critical best practice for meeting the needs of both the students
and their families (Victor & Fish). Three critical stages that help shape childrens personal
development are early childhood, K-6, preteen & teenage years. During these times of
development parents sexual preference, lifestyle, qualities, and their characteristics also play a
major part in parenting as well. According to Erikson the effect of parental qualities and
characteristics including a parents sexual orientation and lifestyle is therefore specific to each
development stage.

Three developmental epochs will be defined as the preschool phase, which incorporates
early childhood, from birth to six years of age, late childhood from six to twelve years of age,
and adolescence twelve to nineteen years of age (Gemelli). Preschool years are critical because
that is when a child develops their trust and learning to get a sense of who they are while also
learning to separate and learn what it real vs. whats not. Nurturing is also a very important factor
for children in this stage. It is undisputed that attachment or bonding to a parent is of vital
importance to infants and toddlers, such as trust in the world, sense of confidence, and ability to
separate reality and fantasy (Black, James).
Late childhood is a time children began to establish peer relationships, accepting their
selves, and academic achievements. According to Erikson children are required to separate from
home, accept the constraints and stimulation of going to school and developing ties to their peer
society. Adolescence is crucial to childrens development, at this time in their life they start to
stray from parents and accept who they are as far as sexual identity and who they are becoming.
According to (Black) adolescent apparently move further away from parents and embrace their
culture, friends, and peers. (Black) States teenagers are simultaneously engaged in attempts both
to explore, and crystallize their identities, defining who and what they are and what they are to
become and included in this crystallization process is the resolution of their sexual identities.
Taking in account these important facts and phases the developmental process that children need
in their childhood or will experience, children with same sex parents are able to develop just as
well in all areas in fact these children do better in all of these stages and their parents play a
important role in the development process. Studies also show children of same-sex parents score
higher when it comes to self-esteem and do better overall in school, so children of same-sex
parents are not affected by their parents sexual orientation. Same-Sex parents scored higher than

straight mothers on self confidence, dominance, and exhibition, and lesbian mothers are less
likely to defer to others and more likely to see themselves as dominant and independent than
heterosexual mothers, therefore more likely to promote their childrens independence by
modeling independent thinking and behavior (Green & et al.).
Psychology development is another concern in society, because of the stigma that is put
on same-sex families. Children of these families have demonstrated lower levels of depression,
anxiety, hostility, and problematic alcohol use than peers in heterosexual two parent families
(Golombok et al.). Children of same-sex parents appreciate and are proud of the environment
they were raised in. Having a positive relationship with parents is associated with more favorable
adolescent outcomes ( Darling et al.). According to research adolescents were unanimous
described their mothers parenting abilities, supportiveness, open-mindedness, accomplishments,
and morality. Same-Sex parents have been proving to be more open- minded and talk with their
children it helps to reduce life pressures. Adolescents who disclose more about their day to day
lives with parents show lower levels of school problems, substance use, delinquency, and mood
disorders (Baumrind et al.). However, bullying can be a concern to children with same-sex
parents, many children are made fun of or discriminated against because of their parents sexual
orientation or due to not being educated. Accordingly, stigmatization by peers and adults are one
of the most common fears as far as the well being of children of same-sex parents. Children are
bullied overall although children of same-sex parenting have a higher risk bullying does not
discriminate against other children, and there are several reasons children are bullied. According
to Stopbullying.gov the article Risk Factors states children at risk of being bullied have one or
more factors such as, being different, overweight, glasses, clothing, unable to defend themselves,
low self esteem, not popular, or seen as annoying or provoking.

In summary children of same-sex parents are able to function just as well if not better
than heterosexual children. Although society has stigmas against these families the number rises
when it comes to same-parenting and has no major effect on the children as far as their home
environment, personal development, or psychological development. It is safe to say that if
society educates itself and embraces these families more the stigma might not be as tough as it is
now. Same-Sex families and children are happy, healthy, and receive the same amount of love as
any other family.