Professional Documents
Culture Documents
The following case study details a writing workshop that took place after school
at Starmount High School in Yadkin County. The participants in the workshop were two
males, sophomore Adam1 and junior Brian1, who needed additional practice in writing.
Both students were failing English and participated in the workshop for extra credit. The
case study focuses on Brian, but discusses Adam in terms of group instruction. The
personal essay was selected as the genre of writing for the workshop in order to optimize
engagement by allowing students to write about their interests.
We began our workshop by discussing an example of a personal essay. Next, I
shared a New York Times article about generating ideas for writing, and we brainstormed
topics. I told students they could use strategies from the article or jot down hobbies and
interests. We shared our ideas and narrowed the lists to three topics each. Both guys
listed topics that were pretty broad. I told them the ideas were a good start, but that they
should choose a specific instance to write about. The boys were supposed to do five
minutes of free writing for each of the three topics we selected, then consider whether the
free writing generated new ideas and revise their lists as needed before our next meeting.
When I discussed the free writing during the second meeting, both students
answered questions about the activity, but neither turned in the assignment. The students
said they had more to write about one topic and chose that topic for their essays. Its my
opinion that neither student completed the free writing activity. They answered questions
as if they had, but in actuality chose their favorite topic from the list. Free writing could
be a valuable activity for generating unique ideas, but its primary purpose in our
workshop was to help the students select a topic. The students selected topics without
doing the activity, and I felt it unnecessary to belabor the point. The purpose of our
workshop was for students to understand the writing process as a whole, but I might
require free writing in a workshop that emphasized ideation strategies.
1
reader. I included positive comments along with the constructive feedback, and Brian
received the feedback well. He was open to my suggestions, and recognized that the
events needed to be explained more clearly to the reader. At the next meeting, however,
Brian had not written a second draft. Instead, he brought his first draft with a couple of
sentences rewritten in the margin.
We began our fourth meeting with a discussion on publishing and audience, and
after making a plan for publishing, we moved on to editing. Brian summed up the
difference between editing and revising by stating, editing is more of a fine-tuning. I
told students to consider language and word choice, to make sure all content was
essential and well explained, and to make sure everything flowed from one point to the
next. I told them to watch for grammar and spelling errors, but that we would do a final
proofread on the next draft. We made two copies of each essay, and each student
proofread his own paper and then the other students paper. I edited both essays.
Even though Brian hadnt written a second draft, I wanted to keep moving
forward because he was loosing interest in the project. Unfortunately, I didnt have time
to edit the entire essay. I marked up two-thirds of it, and advised him to correct the rest
on his own, using my notes as a model. I told him (again) to separate each thought into its
own sentence, and I modeled separating one run-on sentence. My feedback was more
specific than it had been on the previous round, but I didnt have time to discuss each
mark-up, or to coach him through solving each problem.
When the students shared their third drafts via Google Drive, neither of the essays
had changed much from the first drafts. I printed the essays, marked very specific
changes, and used the fifth meeting for revising. First, I talked about the recursive nature
of the writing process and what constitutes as finished writing. Then, I told students the
main problem on which they should each focus (elaboration for Adam, jumbling thoughts
together for Brian), and gave them their marked-up essays. I made sure they knew what
the edit marks meant, and told the boys to ask me if they had questions about anything.
The boys responded much better to specific corrections marked on their papers than the
feedback from previous rounds. Marking corrections felt like giving the answers instead
of teaching, but time constraints made it necessary. The boys preferred this method; I
assume because it meant less work on their part. This dilemma presents another reason
for ongoing writing workshops: Students need continuity and repetition to internalize
processes, and subsequent workshops allow for gradually more sophisticated objectives,
leading students to become self-sufficient problem solvers.
Our last meetingfinal edits & publishingwas online, at the decision of the
students. I prepared a brief presentation in Google Drive that recapped the overall writing
process and provided tips on adapting it for writing tests. There was a lot more I would
like them to retainstrategies for and purpose of organization, improved style and
mechanics, role of audiencebut it would have been too much for an initial workshop.
Regular implementation of writing workshops throughout the year would allow each
subsequent workshop to focus on increasing depth and sophistication of writing ability.
When I received Brians fifth draft, there were additional changes he needed to
make before the paper would be ready for publication. I noted the changes via comments
on the document and emailed him. When Brian made the final proofing corrections, the
paper wasnt perfect, but it had come a long way. The language clarity and sentence
construction within Brians essay improved throughout the process as a result of my edit
notes, but I dont know if he understood the reasoning behind the edits, or if his
mechanical writing abilities have improved. I think he would benefit from additional
practice focused on sentence construction. While Brian struggled with mechanics, he
used descriptive language very well. I dont know how much prior knowledge he had of
descriptive language, but I think the workshop increased his ability to write about details
by giving him an opportunity for practice.
When we talked about publishing and audience during the fourth meeting, the
students decided to publish the final essays on the Internet. If the group were larger, I
would have made a website specifically for the workshop stories, but since there were
only two students Ms. Zepp offered to post the finished essays on her class website. I
didnt focus on audience as much I would have liked. When I first introduced the concept
of audience, the drop in motivation was palpable. For whatever reasonand I can
speculate severalthe boys had anxiety about sharing their work with other people.
Audience is important, but part of differentiation of instruction includes taking into
account factors such as anxiety and motivation. At this point, it was more important to
have the boys to practice process writing than to push a concept that was a source of
anxiety. Again, I site this as a reason supporting ongoing writing workshops. Continual
workshops would allow long-term scaffolding to support self-efficacy and confidence
towards sharing work with authentic audiences. While the discussion of audience was
limited, we did discuss the reader during revising and editing to help the boys consider
clarity. In several places, I asked the boys to rewrite an explanation with regard to what
the reader could understand.
As an initial writing workshop with these two boys, it was successful in teaching
an overview of the writing process. However, I dont think the boys fully comprehend the
minutiae involved in each stage of evolving writing into a finished piece. Writing ability
is not something that can be definitively achieved once and for all, but rather develops
continuously throughout a learners lifetime. As an English teacher, I see the importance
of implementing ongoing writing workshops with increasingly sophisticated learning
objectives for each student throughout the year. As an art teacher, I may not implement as
many formal writing projects as an academic teacher, but writing will be ongoing in the
form of journals. Additionally, I will implement writing workshops when a writing
assignment is given, and I will point out the parallels between the writing process and the
artistic processthe latter of which will be ongoing in my art class.
ABOUTFATHERS
Published:JUNE15,2008
Mydadwastheschoolsuperintendentinthevillagewherewegrewup.Hisofficewasinthe
juniorhighschool,whichwasbothconvenientandmortifyingforme,inturns.Convenient
Search
Tosearch,typeandhitenter
FindKateOnline
becausehedcarrymybaritonesaxophoneintoschoolonthemorningsIhadjazzband.
MortifyingbecauseifIgotintroublefortalkinginstudyhall,heknewbeforelunchtime.But
somethingelsehappenedinthosejuniorhighyears,toosomethingIdidntfigureoutuntilI
hadgrownintoalessgawky,slightlylessnerdyhighschoolgirl.Mydadwasmysecret
admirer.
ThestudentcouncilatmyjuniorhighschoolhadrenamedValentinesDayCarnationDay.In
Kate'sPublishers
theweeksleadinguptoit,youcouldpayadollartosendacarnationtothepersonofyour
IfyoulikeKate'sbooks
choice,anditwouldbeleftonhisorherdeskbeforehomeroomthatmorning.Theresultwas
averycolorfulandextraordinarilyvisibledisplayofrelativepopularity.Thereweresomekids
whowalkedinandsatdownatemptydeskseveryValentinesDaymorning.Itsawonder
theykeptshowingup.Therewereotherkidswhosedesksweresoladenwithflowersthere
wasnoroomforapencil.
Itwasagreatsourceofangst.Iworried.ButIdidnthaveto.Inmythreeyearsofjuniorhigh
school,mydeskwasneverwithoutacarnationonValentinesDay.Someyears,therewas
morethanone.Butalways,therewasone.
Thecardwaseithersignedfromasecretadmirerornotsignedatall.Myfriendsthoughtit
mademeseemexoticandmysterious.IthinkitwasfreshmanyearwhenIfigureditout.
Everyyear,heheardtheannouncementsandmadethewalkfromdistrictofficesatoneendof
thebuildingtothecafeteriaattheotherendtoordermyflower.
Whenweweregrowingup,mydadwasntalwayswhatyoudcallthewarm,fuzzytype.He
wasbusysometimes.Hewasveryorganized.Andhewasstrict.Butsomethinghappensto
fatherswhenyouhavechildrenofyourown.TheyturnfromDadstoPapas,whohave
unlimitedtimeforfishingandbelieveincandybeforedinner.
Lookingback,though,therewerealwayshintsofPapa,evenonDadsbusiestdays.Istill
haveadriedjuniorhighschoolcarnationinmyatticasproof.
announcement, based on what you envision for yourself. And who knows?
You may become famous and merit your own Times Topics page, like Bill
Clinton or Oprah Winfrey. What would the overview on your page say?
7. Food, glorious food The Dining & Wine section and the blogs
Bitten and Diners Journal are good places to get inspired to writeabout
amemorablemeal,adisastrousdishorjustafavoritefood.
8. WhatstheMatterWithCollege? The Times asked for college
students to weigh in on this question after running an article on the
subject. Contest winners were published on the Times site. Read the
winning entries, and write your own essay answering the same question
(or adapting it as necessary: Whats the Matter With High School? or
Whats the Matter With Summer Jobs?).
9. WinaTripwithNicholasKristof. Thats what three students
have done in the past, traveling to Africa to do reporting with the Times
columnist, by writing a winning essay. What would you write about to try
to win this trip? Read the 2009 award-winners essay and the other
finalists entries. You may also want to read the guidelines. Then, write
your own entry, imagining that it could be your ticket to a life-changing
experience.
10. Writeasfastasyoucan, as much as you can, in one time
period. Compete against a friend. See what comes up! You might get
started by each writing down five topic ideas, one each on a piece of paper,
and throwing them into a paper bag. Take turns pulling a topic out and
challenging yourselves to write about it for five minutes, then read back to
each other what you wrote.
6/19/03
12:03 PM
Page 2
THE PERFECT
PAPER>>
> COULD
IT COULD
HAPPEN
TO YOU
IT
ONLY
HAPPEN
TO YOU
It is your job to choose a topic that is unique to you.
Perhaps you competed in the Iditarod. Perhaps youre
the first person in the history of your town to finish high
school in two years. Perhaps youre already a published
author.
But dont worry if youre not any of these people. (Most
of us arent.) The key to your essay is your perspective.
You can write about whatever you want, as long as your
take on it is unique. Travel is broadening, winning a
game is thrilling, and losing a beloved relative is
devastating, but the fact of the matter is, these are
> GIVE
THE
GOODS
GIVE
USUS
THE
GOODS
One of the purposes of the personal essay is to reveal
something about who you are, what you believe in, or
whats important to you. Choose a topic that allows the
6/19/03
12:03 PM
Page 3
Dont be alarmed if a lot of what youve written while doing these exercises seems unusable. The point here is to
give yourself as many ideas and options as possible, and to wake up your creativity, in case your brain is still in
summer mode. If you finish this exercise with one good idea that excites you, it was a success.
>>STAY TUNED: Next month, well put your topic to the test, with How to Write the Personal Essay of Your Dreams.
Literary Cavalcade SEPTEMBER 2003
37
Narrative is a term more commonly known as story. Narratives written for college or personal
narratives, tell a story, usually to some point, to illustrate some truth or insight. Following are some
tools to help you structure your personal narrative, breaking it down into parts.
The Hook Start your paper with a statement about your story that catches
the readers attention, for example: a relevant quotation, question, fact, or
definition.
Introduction
Set the Scene Provide the information the reader will need to understand the
story: Who are the major characters? When and where is it taking place? Is it a
story about something that happened to you, the writer, or is it fiction?
Thesis Statement The thesis of a narrative essay plays a slightly different
role than that of an argument or expository essay. A narrative thesis can begin
the events of the story: It was sunny and warm out when I started down the
path; offer a moral or lesson learned: Ill never hike alone again; or
identify a theme that connects the story to a universal experience: Journeys
bring both joy and hardship.
Show, Dont Tell Good story telling includes details and descriptions that
help the reader understand what the writer experienced. Think about using all
five sensesnot just the sense of sightto add details about what you heard,
saw, and felt during the event. For example, My heart jumped as the dark
shape of the brown grizzly lurched toward me out of the woods provides
more information about what the writer saw and felt than, I saw a bear when
I was hiking.
Body
Paragraph
Conclusion
1/09
The Moral of the Story The conclusion of a narrative include the closing
action of the event, but also should include some reflection or analysis of the
significance of the event to the writer. What lesson did you learn? How has
what happened to you affected your life now?
Body paragraphs: write three significant moments from the beginning, middle, and end of the event.
Para. 1:
Beginning
Action
Topic sentence:
Detail 1.
Detail 2.
Detail 3.
Para. 2:
Middle
Action
Topic sentence:
Detail 1.
Detail 2.
Detail 3.
Para 3:
End
Action
Topic sentence:
Detail 1.
Detail 2.
Note:
Dont forget
to Show,
Dont Tell:
List sounds,
smells,
sights, tastes,
and textures
that you
remember.
Your
experience is
your
evidence.
Use
transition
words to
mark the
passage of
time.
Detail 3.
Conclusion:
Analyze and reflect on the
action of the story, including
how the events are significant
to you.
THE PERFECT
PAPER>>
Personal Essay
Getting Personal
HOW TO WRITE A PERSONAL ESSAY THAT CAPTURES A MOMENT IN YOUR LIFE
AND YOUR READERS ATTENTION By Sarah Montante
DESCRIBE
THE
EVENT.
> DESCRIBE
THE
EVENT
Dont be stingy or selfish with your description. Good personal essays are an act of generosityyou give readers a
piece of your experience and allow them to feel it for
themselves. Its important to use strong verbs and lively
details to bring your memories to life. Appeal to all the
senses: taste, touch, smell, hearing, and sight.
> BRING
THE
STORY
REST
BRING
THE
STORY
TOTO
REST.
Even if you could write five hundred pages on your
topic, eventually you will need to come to an ending
point. If endings make you feel like you have to summarize the entire meaning of life in one sentence, then
think of this as finding a resting place instead. All you
need is to provide closure to your scene.
When Freddie came home from the veterinary
hospital, he was all bandaged up and sleeping
from the medicine. The vet had put a metal
plate in his leg that would hold his bones
together. He said that after it healed, Freddie
would be able to run just like he had before. I
wondered how long it would be before old
Freddie would be back to his favorite pastime
chasing cars.
Remember that a personal essay is like a guided tour of
your past. Take readers through a beginning, middle,
and end so that they dont get lost. Provide enough context and detail to make the scenery interesting, and to
help readers understand what they are seeing. When
the trip down memory lane is over, wave goodbye. Your
readers will surely miss you.
FINDING A TOPIC
IF TOTAL FREEDOM TO CHOOSE YOUR TOPIC SCARES ALL THE
GOOD IDEAS OUT OF YOU, THEN USING ONE OF THESE WRITING
PROMPTS WILL HELP GET THE WORDS FLOWING.
Pick a prompt that appeals to you, set a timer for 15 minutes, and just write. Dont stop,
dont think, just keep your pen moving over the paper. At the end of the 15 minutes, you will
have plenty of raw material from which you can choose a subject for your personal essay.
>
>
>
>
>
>
NEXT
MONTH:
Writing a
response to
literature
41
THE PERFECT
PAPER>>
> FIRE
FIRE IT
IT UP
UP
>
You want this person to keep talking to you, so make it
interesting. Bring your topic to life with strong
descriptions and images. Instead of writing a flat
sentence like, The weather was hot, tell your reader
exactly how hot it was and why it mattered. The day we
got our family portrait taken it was so hot that my
RONNIE KAUFMAN/CORBIS
>
fathers good white shirt was stuck to his back, his sweat
soaking through the cloth in a widening circle. Lively
details, precise language, and effective grammar and
punctuation will help you to captureand holdyour
readers attention for the length of the essay.
>
>
EDITING
THE PERSONAL ESSAY
EDITING IS AN ESSENTIAL PART OF WRITINGESPECIALLY FOR PERSONAL
ESSAYS. FOLLOW THESE GUIDELINES TO MAKE A GOOD ESSAY GREAT.
37
About two years ago, I had a very close encounter with death himself. It was a perfect
warm, crisp morning, and steam rose off the cool water. One of the most deadly animals in the
world could have killed me that day. Never mess with a wild animal that you know nothing
aboutit could seriously hurt you. I never will again.
I woke up to a beautiful morning. The water danced in the light, and the breeze was
perfumed with the sweet smell of honey suckles. The morning was so full of life, even those
annoying little birds were singing the finest tunes. The smell of the nice crisp air and dark roast
coffee was amazing. The sweet Kodiak Mint, or snuff as my grandpa calls it, was refreshing
the texture, the flavor, and smell. It was the perfect morning
After the best morning in my life my pawpaw made it better. He looked me in the eyes
and said, lets go fishing. I jumped with joy as my heart raced. I knew I needed to take this
offer for one reason. Live life like every days your last. Yesterday was history, tomorrow's a
mystery, but today's a gift, and thats why they call it the present.
We loaded up our rods and reels and tackle, and off we went to go fishing. We were
about a mile away from home in the middle of nowhere, when we came within three feet from
hitting a small fawn. We grazed it, knocking inches of hair off of the poor, baby deer. My
pawpaw slammed the brakes. My head shot forward, then slammed into the seat behind me. I
thought, thank God we weren't hurt. Then I saw my papaw was sitting there in tears. I asked,
what's wrong?
Pawpaw looked me right in my little blue eyes, and told me the story of how he was shot
at the age of fifteen. He couldn't do anything when it happened but lay on the cold, hard ground
and face death. He prayed to God as he lay still with the 12 gauge shotgun pellets in his hip bone
and back. In pain from the pellets still in his hip and back, he drove the rest of the way to the
pond.
We unpacked our gear. Me being the loving, stubborn, hard head that I am, I carried our
stuff. We walked two and a half miles to a pond in the middle of the woods. My legs and back
felt broken. When I dropped the gear, it felt as if I only weighed two pounds. We readied our
gear and started to fish. Pawpaw caught two or three large mouth bass, and not a single one
weighed under five pounds. I only caught one that weighed around two pounds. I knew he was
whooping my tail so, I left to get different bait.
I had always heard snakes were the best baitbesides groundhog livers, but I didn't see
myself catching one of them boogers. As I passed a big, beautiful oak, I saw something reddish
brown move at the speed of light. It was so fast it was like the world was moving in slow motion.
I moved the leaves that the beautiful creature was laying under, and there it wasbait! As I
grinned in my mind, I distracted the snake with my left hand. It struck at my hand. I moved, then
snached the cold, scaly snake. He resisted arrest, so to speak. I felt his muscles try to pry my
fingers apart. I carried it to my papaw, but he yelled with fright drop that damn snake! As I
dropped it and ran, it struck my boot one inch away from my leg. Pawpaw killed the snake
within two seconds. He bashed it over the head with a stick. Ive never seen anything move that
fast. He told me that a baby copper head was ten times more dangerous than an adult, and could
have killed me in two minutes with one bite. I was only one inch away from having a very, very
bad day.
Life is short, so dont slow down. Live life in the fast lane, and do everything that you
can to enjoy it. I could have died that day with no regrets. Could you?